Moments Lost in Time
by Caeruleus Libellus
Summary: It's great to find a special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” James loved Lily, so he annoyed her. You’ve seen it before, but never like this. He loves her...she hates him. He hates her...she couldn’t care less. He changes...now what?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** _So then, here comes that all important author's note, the contents of which has been evading us since we first finished our beloved chappie (so affectionate, don't you think?). This fic is co-written by the two best-est authors you will ever meet (or so we like to think – so good for self-esteem…) who are known on this site as Moonlight Sapphire and Lady in Scarlett. Although we haven't posted anything individually yet, we will let you know when we get around to posting them._

_This is our first fan fiction and we would ask you to tread lightly around our baby/masterpiece. Nevertheless, please be honest in all the reviews you shall inevitably leave. However, flaming just because "it sux!!" isn't a review, or constructive criticism, and therefore, of no use to us. If you want us to improve, please tell us what we can do to make this fan fiction better (although it's already the best…no comment). _

_Thanks to all you awesome review-y people out there!! To the rest of you…_

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**

_On our last note, thanks anyway for reading and we hope you enjoy the first chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time**

**Moments Lost in Time**

**By: Caeruleus Libellus **

**Chapter One: I Lurve You**

Lily Audrey Evans looked hopelessly into the bathroom mirror, eyeing her long red hair in exasperation. Instead of the elegant French twist she was aiming for, a tangled mess lay about her shoulders, refusing to cooperate. Lily sighed and moved into the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. It was too hot. Too hot to bother, too hot to care.

"Lily!"

"What?" she grumbled, looking in aggravation towards her open bedroom door where her oh-so-lovely sister stood. Outsiders might think that Lily was being unnecessarily rude to her sister, but, as usual, outsiders would be wrong. This was Petunia we were talking about. Petunia! If this was not enough to hate her on the spot, Petunia was the person who had gone out with a pompous, windbag in the shape of a whale and thought him the greatest man ever born. Needless to say, Lily didn't share her deluded sibling's views.

"Aren't you ready yet? We're leaving soon," Petunia snapped, gazing hatefully down at her sister.

"Of course I'm ready," chirped Lily sarcastically.

Petunia, a few IQ points shy of a pumpkin, looked at Lily's hair in horror. "You're not coming like _that_ are you? Next you'll want to put on those freak _things_ you wear to your freak _school_ where you freakishly live with all of your equally freakish friends." Petunia shuddered at the mere thought.

"Well, of course I'm wearing those. Didn't you know?" asked Lily sweetly. She took immense pleasure in the traumatized expression that crossed Petunia's face before her sister turned and went barreling down the stairs, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Mum!!! Lily's acting like a _freak _again!"

Having completed the desired task of sending Petunia on her way, Lily sank back onto the bed, only to be interrupted by a persistent tapping at the window. Lily immediately sat up again, smiling at the thought of mail from her best friends. Her smile quickly turned into a scowl. At the window was neither Sierra's grayish-brown owl Morgan, nor Carina's snowy owl Blanche. Instead it was _his_ owl. Lily didn't like saying _his_ name even in her thoughts. He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned was the bane of her existence and why _he_ didn't just do the world a favor, or well, _her_ a favor, and go off and die some long, and unpleasantly drawn out death somewhere far, _far_, FAR away from her, was beyond her.

Since Lily had long ago decided that it wasn't the owl's fault it was sent on such inane trips, she let it in and fed it some owl treats from her own owl, Charcoal's, cage. It was only then that she noticed the letter tied to its leg. Trust James Potter - I mean He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned, yes, that was right - to send her a Howler. She dropped it on the bed and backed away, as it began smoking around the edges. Lily had just stuffed her fingers into her ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise, as if merely not listening to it would make it go away, when the very thing she was cringing in a corner bemoaning, happened. Lily was scared witless as the stupid _thing_ exploded in a shower of crimson, a loud, booming voice, taking over her bedroom.

"LILYKINS!" Potter's annoying voice yelled gleefully. "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN TWO FULL WEEKS! YOU HAVEN'T REPLIED TO ANY OF MY LETTERS! DO YOU REALIZE HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? OUT OF MY BLOODY MIND WITH WORRY, THAT'S HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN! SO LILYKINS, I'M SURE YOU WERE ESPECIALLY GLAD TO SEE GOOGLE," Lily made a face at the random name, "OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW! I'M SURE YOU'VE BEEN QUITE BORED WITHOUT MY CHARMING PRESENCE THERE TO LIVEN THINGS UP!" Lily emitted a snort of disagreement and prayed for the _thing_ to run out of steam. Potter's voice became indignant as it continued loudly, "I CAN SENSE YOU SNORTING!" Lily looked in shocked amusement at the howler as Potter continued. "DO YOU REALIZE HOW _HURT_ I AM? I WENT THROUGH _ALL THIS TROUBLE_ TO MAKE YOU A HOWLER AND **_THIS_** IS THE RESPONSE I GET? INGRATE! DO YOU WANT OUR GRANDCHILDREN TO HEAR THE STORY OF YOUR ABUSE WHEN WE SIT BY THE FIRE IN THAT LITTLE BROWN COTTAGE WITH THE WHITE PICKET FENCE? I SHOULD THINK NOT! SO LILYKINS, SPEAKING OF GRANDCHILDREN – WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? OH REALLY, YOU WILL? THAT'S GREAT! NOW WE HAVE A STORY TO TELL! SEE YOU AT HOGWARTS LIL! **I LUUUURRRRVE YOU!**" The Howler trailed off and shriveled up, leaving behind a handful of ash.

This was the third howler this week. But at least the first two had not mentioned grandchildren (Lily laughed inwardly at the preposterous thought) or a cottage with a white picket fence that she was supposedly meant to _share_ with He-who-shall-not-be-mentioned. Annoyingly long declarations of love were also a first. Lily wondered how it was possible to become _more_ immature as you grew _older_. But then Potter also grew stupider so it shouldn't have really been such a surprise. Too bad he didn't grow shorter so it was easier to glare at him.

A light knock came at the door and she looked up once more, this time to meet her mother's amused green eyes, which were identical to her own. Laurel Evans took one look at the pile of ash on her daughter's bedspread and Lily's scowling face before letting out a light, easy laugh.

"Another one?" she asked, somewhat unnecessarily.

Lily nodded mutely.

"Well you have to admit: he _is_ funny. And persistent!" From her daughter's deepening scowl, Laurel could tell that Lily didn't find James to be the least bit funny.

"He's an insufferable berk Mum," Lily corrected.

"Well think of it this way," her mother advised, "who would you rather marry: James or Vernon?"

"Don't even joke Mum! Vernon of course!" At her mother's disbelieving stare, Lily muttered, "Potter, obviously. Even he's not that bad. Although it was close," she added with a small grin.

Laurel looked at Lily, and enjoyed flaunting her annoying wisdom, gained purely with more years present in the world. "_Riiight,_" she said in a sing-song way. "Well anyway, we need to get going. Hurry up with your hair and come down." Mrs. Evans moved towards the door as Lily made her way to her bathroom once more, complaining all the way.

She began combing her wavy, auburn locks that ended at mid-back, muttering profanities under her breath. And why exactly was Lily so ticked off on this glorious Saturday? Well Potter's howler hadn't improved her mood any, but an underlying issue was still present: the aforementioned pompous windbag. The creature that felt that, if the world didn't revolve around Grunnings, the drill firm he worked at, then it naturally revolved around him. The man, who, going against all human principles, _all laws of nature itself_, was roughly the size and weight of a whale, and blessed with the coloring of a flamingo. If the man (if he could be called a man) was not pink with excitement, he was positively red with anger, exhibiting an impossibly short temper. He was also the embodiment of the affectionate boyfriend, never failing to look at Petunia with such adoration that it made Lily gag.

And Lily had a fairly strong stomach.

To make matters worse, she was to have lunch with Vernon and his oversized family at their house that afternoon, at which Vernon and Petunia were to make an "announcement". What the point was, of making an announcement about their impending nuptials when everyone present already knew, Lily wasn't sure of. But Petunia had expressed distaste for anything out of the ordinary and wanted her 'courtship' (cue to gag here) with Vernon to be conducted in the 'proper manner'.

Lily could picture the scene in her mind. After listening to a riveting rendition of exactly how much Vernon earned in an hour at Grunnings, he would complain about the dessert being far too rich, while simultaneously devouring three to four helpings. Then he would massage his belly before heaving himself up off his chair, thrusting his chest out, and announcing their engagement, as if it were a great accomplishment to be married to a man of the greatest caliber, such as he. He would then sit down, gazing about with a decidedly superior gaze, while Lily and her parents would attempt to look happy for the glowing couple.

This was sure to be followed by Marge, who would kiss/dislocate Petunia's cheek and express how much she looked forward to becoming Petunia's sister-in-law. She would then proceed to explain to all the delicate digestive system of her dog, Ripper, before asking for a spot more of brandy. The spot would then transform into several glasses, while Lily sat miserably in the back, hoping she could go home soon

Vernon would then glance at Lily, and boom, "Why Daisy!" at which point Lily would inform him that her name was Lily. Vernon, being too absorbed in his entrancing monologue would carry on as if she had said nothing. "I am sure you will be the next to get married!" he would remark in a condescending tone that said quite clearly that he would be perfectly happy if Lily remained a spinster all her days. He would then gaze at Petunia for approval before kissing her, leaving Lily to wonder if it was polite to hurl her lunch and create a repugnant mess on the pristine white tablecloth.

By this time, Lily had tamed her hair, feeling quite light hearted after she had sufficiently ranted. She reached for her earrings and smoothed down her white sundress, vowing to upstage Petunia in looks at least, just to annoy her further. She traipsed down the stairs, almost looking forward to this lunch if it meant irritating the hell out of her older sister.

The sight that met Lily in her own front hall, a place she had formerly thought to be quite safe, was horrendous, to say the least. Her parents, having abandoned her in a fit of madness, had left behind a monster. Petunia was in the middle of full-blown hysterics, ranting about freakish sisters who were conspiring against her, wanting to make her late to this lunch so that 'her darling Vernon' would break off their engagement at the last minute. It was then that Petunia spotted the one and only 'freakish sister' that she had been raving about. Petunia's beady eyes looked Lily over, taking in her flattering dress and now tamed hair, before she pursed her lips as if she had just tasted something sour.

Looking Lily over, she said in condescending tones, "so, you finally managed to get your hair under control? Too bad your freakish tendencies aren't good for anything else. Do you realize what time it is?" Petunia asked sharply.

Lily, being used to this behavior, simply looked at Petunia, her eyes void of emotion. "Feeding time for the whales I suppose," replied Lily coolly before brushing past Petunia and going out to the family car.

After slamming the front door and locking it, Petunia hurried after her, sliding in beside Lily in the backseat. Lily grimaced as she looked at Petunia's lurid pink sleeveless sundress adorned with yellow and white flowers along the hem. A satin sash was wrapped a little above her waist, just below her bust. While Lily had just slicked on some lip-gloss and a touch of mascara, Petunia had gone all out and looked like she had dumped the entire cosmetics counter on her too pale face.

"About time girls," their father remarked in cheerful tones. While the Evans lived in an older part of town, in a quaint Victorian style house, with gleaming white walls and sea green shutters, the Dursley's lived almost across town in newly built Privet Drive. Lily had been their once before and didn't think much of it. But it suited the Dursley's just fine - with identical houses and greener than green lawns, it was the ideal location for boredom and normality.

Their parents carried on their own conversation in the front of the car, Mrs. Evans asking about the latest going on at her husband's law firm. Lily positioned herself as far away from her sister and gazed out the window, watching the familiar sights fly by.

It wasn't as if anyone was fooled by Petunia's 'oh how I love my dear sister Lily' act. All that mattered to Petunia, all that had ever mattered to her after Lily's magical abilities had been discovered, was to have one over her sister. And it was this attitude that often angered Lily beyond what words ever could.

Petunia, needing to clear something up with her sister, interrupted Lily's train of thought. "Now Lily," she said in a sugary sweet tone of voice, "do you remember what we've discussed about your behavior at Vernon's house?"

Lily groaned; she really should have expected this. "No, do remind me," she quipped, tone heavy with sarcasm.

"What word will you _never_ mention, or even _think_ about, during this lunch?" Petunia demanded softly so as not to be noticed by their parents.

"Magic," answered Lily tonelessly, quite used to this hare-brained drill.

"I said don't mention it!" hissed Petunia in alarm.

Lily couldn't resist continuing. "Yes, no mention of magic, no mention of Hogwarts, and no mention of witches or wizards." Lily smirked, quite enjoying the now pasty color of Petunia's face.

"Yes, yes, that's quite enough," said Petunia hurriedly, wanting Lily to shut up as soon as possible.

Lily nodded and returned to her former position of looking out the window. All too soon, their destination arrived and Lily groaned softly to herself. Petunia on the other hand, looked positively delighted, and, after shooting her sister one last murderous look, flounced out of the car and up the front steps to ring the doorbell. Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged one apprehensive look before walking up the front path, leaving Lily to bring up the rear. By the time she had gotten inside, the Dursley's were greeting Petunia and her parents.

"Oh it's so lovely to see you Laurel!" called an overlarge Mrs. Dursley grasping Mrs. Evans's delicate hand in her sweaty, and bejeweled one.

"And you too, Dorcas," choked out Mrs. Evans, trying to extricate her hand politely.

Over on the other side of the room, Mr. Evans was going through the same ordeal with Mr. Dursely, who looked like an older version of Vernon. Petunia was being kissed by Vernon and hugged by Marge while Lily stood on the side, already hoping she could leave.

It was then that, much to Lily's dismay, Vernon noticed her. "Why Darcy-!"

"It's Lily-"

"- Darcy! You look wonderful!" Vernon boomed, looking Lily over appreciatively.

Petunia glowered, her thin frame almost hidden behind Vernon's bulky one, while Lily tried not to puke at receiving a compliment from The Whale.

"Vernon!" she cried, hoping to inject some sort of happiness in her voice, "you look, er…very well covered!"

Vernon was, in fact, very well covered in a large and rather gruesome suit that was almost dung green in color, coupled with a dark brown tie and light green shirt. Needless to say, Vernon and Petunia made a rather frighteningly garish picture.

Luckily, Lily was saved from racking her brain for more insincere compliments by Mrs. Dursley suggesting they adjourn to the living room for drinks. It was here that Vernon and Petunia planned to share their joyous 'news'.

The moment they had seated themselves on the hard, but expensive looking couches, rather like those in a doctor's office, Mrs. Dursley brought in a tray laden with all alcoholic drinks.

"So Petunia," she said graciously, "what would you like? Bacardi? Beer? Bourbon? Brandy? Champagne? Chardonnay? Cocktail? Cognac? Daiquiri? Gin? Margarita? Martini? Merlot? Mead? Red wine? Rum? Scotch? Tequila? Vodka? Whiskey? White wine? Yeager? It's all there!"

Lily looked at the woman in amazement, wondering if she had memorized the spiel beforehand, in alphabetical order, before shooting it out at unsuspecting guests._ Did she have a drinking problem?_ Lily decided that yes, she did, and that was probably where her paunch came from. But, Lily realized later, if she was married to an overgrown, thick-skulled walrus, and had to breed without gagging, she would have a drinking problem too.

Mr. Evans interjected. "Lily's not of legal drinking age yet Dorcas," he pointed out politely.

"Oh, a glass is neither here nor there, Nathan!" she boomed, laughing like she had cracked the joke of the century. "A spot of alcohol never hurt anybody!"

"I'll just have a glass of water, if that's alright," put in Lily from across the room. Mr. Evans nodded approvingly while Dorcas bellowed, "Marge, get Dandelion some water!"

After everyone had chosen their preferred choice of drink, Mr. Evans allowing Petunia to have an extremely small glass of wine, small compared to Vernon and Marge's full glasses at least, Vernon tapped a fork against his glass, almost smashing it in the process. Lily grimaced as Vernon cleared his throat importantly. "Petunia and I have an announcement to make."

Petunia stood up as well and went to stand beside Vernon, looking like all her birthdays had come at once. "Petunia and I have decided, that, after years of a lovely courtship," here he looked at Petunia lovingly as Dorcas sighed and wiped her eyes, "we are ready to have our status as a couple finalized."

_Only Vernon would talk about his wedding like he was closing a business deal_, thought Lily.

Vernon continued. "-and all of you are gathered here today so that we might alert you of our up-coming nuptials," he finished.

_There's a surprise_, thought Lily sardonically. _Everyone already knows you thickheaded prat. _

Petunia beamed as all before waving her left hand around, blinding everyone in the room by the light reflected off her engagement ring. The rock, being close to the size of Africa, looked odd on Petunia's bony hand.

Silence descended after Vernon had finished. Nobody quite knew where to look, until Marge, who, true to what Lily had imagined, kissed Petunia on the cheek before giving Ripper, who had been sitting by her side throughout the announcement, a biscuit.

Lily's parents, she was quick to notice, weren't looking nearly as happy as they should have been. Nevertheless, after Vernon's parents had congratulated the couple, Laurel and Nathan stood up and offered their wishes for happiness to the couple. Lily was last to go up to them.

"I'm very happy for you Petunia, Vernon," she offered, plastering a fake smile on.

"I'm sure you'll be next Daisy," replied Vernon, grinning jovially as he wrapped a beefy arm around Petunia's waist.

"Don't count on it," Petunia put in, with a laugh and a supercilious smile.

Lily grinned back, "I'm sure you're wedding will be," she paused delicately, "_magical_." Lily shot Petunia, who was now glaring at her quite threateningly, a triumphant look before she returned to her seat.

Lunch progressed just how Lily had imagined it earlier in her bathroom. Vernon and Petunia were sitting side by side, positively glowing with happiness. Petunia was talking energetically to her mother and future mother-in-law, explaining earnestly the color, clarity, and carat of the diamond on her engagement ring. Lily noticed her mother tuning out a few times, but smiling nonetheless in the face of her oldest daughter's joy.

Vernon was talking 'business' with her father and his, thrusting his chest out and describing, with a self-important air, the deals he had made in the last month and Grunnings. Lily cringed every time he began speaking animatedly, as it meant more food/spit flying in her direction.

Marge sat beside her, mostly quiet, shoveling food into her mouth and occasionally asking for a 'spot more of brandy'. If any of the Dursleys addressed her, they always got her name wrong, which Lily found quite ridiculous. It wasn't that hard of a name to remember! By the end of the evening she had been called 'Begonia' twice, 'Sunflower' three times, and even a 'Lettuce' had been thrown in there!

All in all, Lily was overjoyed when her dad thanked the Dursleys for a wonderful afternoon and told them that, unfortunately (yea, right) it was time to leave.

When Lily got home, she immediately rushed upstairs and took another shower, wanting to wash off Vernon's chewed up food that had been spit at her over the course of lunch. She slipped into a pair of comfortable jeans and a white tank top. Toweling her hair, she moved into her bedroom, looking for her hairbrush. It was then that her eyes fell on an envelope sitting on her dark green bedspread. Wondering if her friends had finally stopped having enough fun (Carina was visiting cousins in France and Sierra was vacationing in Spain) to take a moment to write to her, she rushed over, and picked up the envelope.

Big mistake.

Lily took one look at the writing on the envelope and flung it down on her bedspread once more. 'Lily Evans' was scribbled across the envelope in a messy scrawl, looking nothing like Sierra's neat cursive or Carina's loopy handwriting.

As if receiving a howler early in the morning that screamed about picket fences, dodging Vernon's spit and pretending to be happy for Petunia, she also needed more letters from He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned. He really had outdone himself. Usually he sent a letter almost everyday – but twice in one day? That was obsessive, even for him.

Sighing in resignation, Lily opened the letter.

_Dear Lilykins,_

_I have written this wonderful letter to inform you of the fact that you seem to have fallen off the face of Earth. This is the only reason I can think of for you not replying to my letters. Really Lily, I slave day and night coming up with letters to brighten your day – the least you can do is reply. _

_Now that I have finished telling you this crucial bit of information…how've you been? I know, I know, not as well as you could have been seeing as I'm not there…but still. Good? Bad? Somewhere in between? Just wondering…_

_Did you by any chance go on vacation and get eaten by a bunch of mountain trolls on a hunger strike?_

_Or were you held captive by an incensed Yeti causing you to freeze to death when you intruded upon his lair in the Himalayas?_

_Or were you eaten by Nessie when you visited Scotland, who was pretty pissed off because most people don't believe she's real?_

Where did Potter come up this garbage? Lily wondered. And why am I reading this?

_Or are you just wondering why the hell I persist in prattling on and on when you've been really bored at home the whole time pining for me…nah…_

_Or were you in Russia and the Baba Yaga started chasing you around in her house perched on giant chicken legs, when you accidentally walked in on her in the midst of an evil plot to take over the world?_

_Or am I just over-analyzing this and you have simply not replied to any of my letters because you have discovered your undying love for me and cannot seem to express it in words…probably (it was bound to happen Lilykins, bound to happen someday)_

_Or were you in Antarctica and fell in a giant ice hole, which you managed to climb out of eventually after loosing a few toes to frostbite, before being confronted by an angry and sexually frustrated bear that was hungry 'cause his wife hadn't given him any food (or anything else for that matter) ever since last Thursday?_

_Or are you sitting there staring at this letter, wondering why the hell I persist in telling you of your own horrible demise…nah…_

_Or were you taking a vacation in Hawaii when you were ambushed by over-excited natives who forced you into wearing a fruit hat coupled with a grass skirt and a coconut bra, (not that I object) causing you to die of mortification? _

_Or are you currently sitting there, gaping at this letter wondering if I should be hospitalized…nah…_

_Or are you currently dying of hunger in the slums of Africa, maimed and crippled by an over-zealous thief who stole your money, other valuables, such as clothing (not that I mind) and, deciding that wasn't enough, use of your limbs as well?_

_Or are you wondering why I haven't stopped this ridiculous rubbish and come to the point…nah (especially since I already got to the point and now are just expanding and emphasizing upon it)_

_Or were you in Saudi Arabia, visiting an uncle who worked at an oil well, who decided to take you to the aforementioned oil well on the day it happened to explode, causing burns to horribly disfigure your face? (Don't worry Lil, I'll still love you anyway…wait, it isn't _too_ horribly disfigured is it?) _

_Or are you wondering if my water has been tampered with seeing as none of my worst-case scenarios have made any sense…nah…_

_Well no matter what you're wondering since I have decided it is mandatory to tell you what _I_ am thinking. I am thinking that I have run out of worst-case scenarios taking place in foreign lands that make no sense. _

_But my most important thought is that you should probably send Google back with a reply so that I know that none of the above scenarios have taken place. _

_By the way, this letter has taken me a good part of an hour to write (even with Sirius's wacky brain to help (he also says hi)) so I think it would be only polite to reply Lilykins. Good manners are always attractive in a person you know. _

_James_

_PS: Now I _know_ you just can't wait till we see each other again on Platform 9 and ¾. Can't wait to see you in two weeks Lil!_

_PPS: I LUUURRRVVVEE YOU!_

_PPPS: I know that was your favorite part in the howler I sent this morning so I thought I should reiterate the above fact. _

_PPPPS: Will you go out with me?_

Lily could only gaze at the letter in shocked fury. He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned had resorted to coming up with absolute garbage in his spare time, and what was worse, he was putting his deranged ramblings in writing and sending them to her! Lily wasn't sure about replying to him but she knew for sure what she was going to do next.

Lily made her way downstairs, intending to head outside to her spacious back yard, when she was stopped by her mom calling to her from the kitchen.

"Lily! What are you doing?"

"I'm going out to create a bonfire in the backyard, Mum!" Lily left the kitchen amidst amused sputtering and snorting sounds.

Lily was fully intending to create a bonfire in her backyard. She even knew what she was going to burn in it. Torn up pieces of Potter's letter. Yes, Lily was going to have immense pleasure in ripping this letter to bits and flinging them in the fire, imaging _someone's_ face. This was her preferred form of therapy and stress relief. There was also that version of therapy in which Lily faked castrating He-who-shall-not-be-mentioned (with a blunt knife and a cucumber) before forcing him to eat his bits (putting them in Petunia's salad).

Hey, nobody said she was perfect! (Except He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned, but his opinion was invalid due to his imbalanced state of mental sanity).

**A/N**_ Now that you have thoroughly read our fantastically fantabulous first chapter, I trust that your eyes are straying subtly towards the little purple button at the bottom left of the screen? _

_We encourage you to click on it and write away to let us know exactly how much you liked this first chappie. Thanks for reading and please do review!_

**Caeruleus Libellus **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _The wheels have been set in motion and it seems that the first chapter was well-received which has pleased us both immensely. Thanks to all the people who reviewed. Also, thanks to all the people who at least read the chapter. This time around we expect a lot more reviews…c'mon people, how would you feel if this was your fanfic? Exactly. __Also, we have a confession to make. When Scarlett and I first started this fanfic we had visions of updating every week and checking our mail for loving reviews. Although the loving reviews have been partially fulfilled we could still use some more. C'mon people, let's keep the love flowing shall we? Sadly, our updates will take a bit longer than the aforementioned week since the relentless pile of homework never does seem to end for either of us. Nevertheless, we will do our absolute best to churn out a new chapter at least once every two weeks. __Thanks to everybody who reviewed once again and sorry for the long author's note. Please read and tell us what you think of the second chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time.**

**A Traitor and a Mudblood**

James Potter looked up from his perch upon his desk to the persistent tapping coming from the window. Eagerly, he crossed his bedroom, hoping that Lily Evans had replied to his previous letter. He was to be sorely disappointed, however, for the owl carried nothing about its person but for an aura of extreme fatigue.

Flying back and forth between the two houses constantly had not been good for the owl, causing James, who was unable to ignore Google's feeble hooting any longer, to finally give Google a break. Setting Google in the large cage facing the impeding sunset, James fed the owl his favorite treats, before retreating to the kitchen for a snack.

Stuffing his face into a large peanut butter and banana sandwich, he considered the enigma that was Evans. Really, why hadn't she replied to his Howler? Sirius had informed him that all girls dreamed from an early age of a small, cozy house with a white picket fence.

Realizing what he had just thought, James felt like smacking his head against the wall over, and over, and over again. James's poor head was something of a scapegoat for James's own misfortune. At all times, if one looked close enough, one could see a large bump upon his head beneath his mop of hair. Sirius was generally the cause for this bump.

Sirius. Sirius was known by many different people, as many different things. To his own parents, Sirius was the traitorous shit, the disappointment. To James, Remus, and Peter, he was a best friend. To one of his many ex-girlfriends he was simply a 'goddamn bastard'. But to all on earth, he was known as a marauder, first and foremost.

Sirius Black was James's best friend, his brother, and his fellow prankster. He also, apparently, had thought that sending a howler to Evans would force her to accept her undying love for James while she exclaimed at what a romantic gesture a screaming, exploding letter was. Or she could vow to hate James for all eternity. Sirius rarely had the foresight to think these things through.

Due to serious misjudgment upon his part, he had now sent a Howler to Lily Evans that probably made her think he was a stalker, which he had followed up by another letter, which also promoted his stalker-like tendencies.

Damn.

Downing a large glass of milk, James prepared to go kill his former best friend, before resurrecting him and feeding him to the goldfish that lived in the pond out back. James blamed his parents' practicality for not buying James piranhas or alligators for situations like this. A goldfish was hardly a feared creature but it was all he had for the time being.

James had already walked quite far before he realized that the house was too big. Being a wizarding house, it was unplotable, and had a great deal of secret passages. In addition to this, the house was practically a mansion. If Sirius so wished, he wouldn't have to be found for several hours, lost within the labyrinth of passages residing just within the walls.

Turning around abruptly, he made his way back to the kitchen, and opened a huge carton of ice cream into which he resolutely stuck his spoon. Sirius could not hide forever. And when he came out, he, James Potter, would be waiting for him. James decided that an evil laugh was appropriate.

"Mwahahahahaha!"

A pause.

"MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Sirius chose this opportune moment to come into the kitchen. Holding a fist to his mouth, he said loudly "Mayday, mayday, we have lost Prongs01. Repeat: we have lost Prongs01!"

James jumped. "Padfoot! What happened to saying"hi" before you come _bursting in_?"

"That's what normal people do," replied Sirius with an easy shrug. "I, on the other hand, am the great Sirius Black!"

"Would the great Sirius Black," here a snort was artfully injected, "like some fudge chocolate-chip ice cream?"

Sirius took one look at the carton and James's expression before asking an often repeated question. "When will you forget about Evans?"

"What makes you think I'm thinking about Lily?" James hoisted his best innocent expression onto his face.

Sirius just gave his friend a knowing Look. "What do you think?"

James looked hopelessly at his friend through heartbroken eyes. "I think I need more ice cream," he declared, before opening the large, economy sized freezer once more and extracting yet another carton of ice cream.

Sirius snorted, before taking the carton out of James's hands. It had been the same since he had come here last week. James had ingested five cartons of ice cream in one night hoping to drown his sorrows in his preferred form of therapy: ice cream. That was two days ago, and James hadn't been able to sleep for a stomachache. Sirius had almost become an insomniac due to constant moans of acute pain.

Really, he had wondered why he hadn't run to Remus's house, or even Peter's, but no, he had just_ had_ to come to James's house. Where one only got a good nights sleep after one had clocked one's best friend soundly over the head. Rather like Sirius had often done to his brother for no reason at all, but hitting James had good intentions; sleep being one of them.

Sirius's eyes narrowed as he thought of his brother. Whenever he had ever thought of his brother, the thought never seemed to come without the image of his parents standing behind him, sniffing in disdain. This was always followed up by the images of close family, all of whom he despised. He remembered the fateful night last week that had resulted in his arrival at the Potter manor.

**Flashback **

The Black family was a good-looking lot. All the members possessed a laid back elegance, and almost heavy features. Bellatrix Black had a dark, almost intoxicating beauty, with dark hair and heavy lidded eyes that were always accentuated with a dark, blood red lipstick. Currently, however, her good looks were rather marred by the sneer she was giving her cousin.

Sirius sat upon the dark fabric of the red, china print futon, gazing wearily at his cousin's face. What was the point of a family gathering, he wondered, when the invitees failed to act as a family? What was the point of a family gathering when one of the main reasons to come was to taunt a certain member of the family, i.e. him? It was ridiculous, hopeless, and worst of all, it was _Black_.

"Really, we were so disappointed when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. But really, what could we have expected from _him_? Oh well, as long as we have Regulus…" Aurora Black paused in her tirade to smile adoringly at her youngest, and favorite, son. "You know, Grayson almost-"

Aurora Black needed a hobby, Sirius decided. One that was slightly less…predictable. Peter's mom had this odd obsession with crochet, and the few times Sirius had seen her, she had been fiddling with the needles, trying desperately not to drop them. She had even crocheted Peter a Speedo – one that he still wore.

James's mum had an odd thing for cooking, and their house was never lacking in confectionary sweets. Remus's mother actually didn't have a hobby, but spent much of her free time at fund-raisers and volunteering at soup kitchens. He had even gone with her once. Aurora Black however, was slightly different. If she was bored, she came to Sirius's room and yelled at him. If she wasn't bored, she staged large, gut wrenching sobs, loudly dictating all that was wrong with Sirius, and oh where, oh where, had she gone wrong?

Needless to say, Sirius wasn't particularly fond of this habit. Today, Aurora was in rare form, and he had had a good deal of insults thrown in his direction. He had been called everything from a "traitorous muggle-loving fool" to a "no good bastard" to, when Regulus brought up his dating habits, a "cavalier rebel". He didn't truly mind any of the insults, but when the insults were coupled with heavy sneers and sniggers, they were quite infuriating.

Therefore Sirius, fighting valiantly to control his temper, sat picking at the loose threads of the sofa, trying not to look at his cousins. His Great Uncle Alphard, one of the few in his family he actually cared about, was currently in the kitchen, downing as many shots as possible before dinner. Not that Sirius blamed him. If it weren't that Sirius was awaiting Andromeda, he would be downing as much alcohol as possible too.

A knock resounded into the parlor, and Andromeda came into the room, her eyes twinkling. Looking up, Sirius met the eyes of his favorite cousin, as she smiled at him. Although Andromeda wasn't in Slytherin, she was in Ravenclaw, which had always been considered the next best thing. In the Black family, all things went in a certain order. The china came after the silver, ebony came before mahogany, the purebloods came before the muggle-borns, and the list went on. There was, however, one thing lower than all on this list: Sirius.

Sirius was like dirt. Or the polished hardwood floors of the Black estate. Or the filthy mound of rags that Kreacher slept on. Or mildew. In any case, all things came before Sirius in the eternal order of things. If it were a choice between Kreacher and Sirius, Kreacher would almost certainly have come first. At least, as Aurora constantly reiterated, Kreacher wasn't a blood-traitor.

There were many reasons for the hostility Sirius's family bore towards him, none of them very sound. In the aforementioned supreme order of things, the Hogwarts houses had been placed also. After almost no debate and less discussion, it was known throughout the household that Slytherin was the best house. Afterwards came Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, and then last, and most certainly least, came Gryffindor.

Due to unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you looked at it) circumstances, Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor upon his entry to the castle. It had never really been a shock to anyone in the family, but to have their humiliation and betrayal finalized and publicized in such a manner was simply too much to bear.

Today, however, the one member of the family who was civil towards Sirius, Andromeda, had been late. She had informed them earlier that week that she had an announcement to make and Sirius found it odd that she would be late today of all days. The content of this announcement was anyone's guess. Bellatrix felt sure that Andromeda was coming to show them all the Dark Mark. All but Sirius had embraced this idea. However, this was highly unlikely, since Andromeda wasn't as prejudiced against muggles as most.

Narcissa, who had recently begun going out with Lucius Malfoy, was quite sure that Andromeda, too, had chosen this moment to announce her 'betrothal'. This idea too was embraced at first; however it had been discarded soon after, since Andromeda's mother had no idea about a potential suitor. Heaven forbid that Andromeda do something drastic without informing them first. It was a matter of pride.

Sirius himself had chosen to reserve judgment but had made it a point to act unsurprised, as if he had prior knowledge. This would not only make his family very, very angry, it would also help reserve some of the pride he was sure to have lost during the conversation before her arrival.

And so, when Andromeda came in, he said "hi" in a knowing, worldly voice, and smirked inwardly at the look upon Aurora's face.

Andromeda stood in the doorway; her eyes alight with something only she knew. "Hey Auntie Aurora, Uncle Grayson, Regulus," she said, nodding at each person before saying in a slightly friendlier tone, "Oh hey Sirius, how've you been?"

Ignoring the daggers shooting from his family's eyes, Sirius leaped up to hug his cousin and gave her a knowing look. "So…have some news for us do you?" he asked, grinning at the slightly shocked expression on Andromeda's face. Andromeda made to reply but instead a deep voice issued forth from the doorway, as a tall, almost handsome man stepped out of the shadows. "You must be Sirius," he remarked in slight tones of amusement. The man spoke in a strong tenor, giving his voice an almost musical quality. The man himself was wearing a dark green overcoat, and had opted to wear muggle clothing for the occasion. Although the Black family was prejudiced against muggles, they still opted for muggle clothing, due to it being more convenient.

If one looked closely enough, they could see that the man was quite well muscled, but not enough so as to be bulky. Jeans adorned long legs, and when the man looked up, you could see a dark brown fringe above sparkling green eyes. The dark drown fringe itself was fairly unruly, yet seemed to hold a semblance of order, giving an almost distinguished appearance to the man beneath it.

Andromeda looked nervously at her family for a moment, before clearing her throat. "This is Ted Tonks. He's a friend of mine." The way Andromeda said the sentence all knew there was something more to it than mere friendship, though nobody dared question her at the moment. Andromeda would explain it all at her own pace. None of the Blacks could be pressured into doing anything as all were blessed with will of iron and nerves of steel.

Aurora took one look at the man and sniffed in contempt. _Muggle-born_. It couldn't have been clearer if he had painted it on his forehead in neon green paint. Leaning towards Andromeda's mother she whispered murderously, "He's clearly muggle-born. What was she thinking?"

Druella Black, Andromeda's mother, hastily agreed with the Aurora, muttering that she would have a 'word' with her daughter.

"He'll have to stay until we hear Andromeda's announcement. After that…" She smirked rather threateningly. The mudblood wouldn't know what had hit him.

Accordingly, Ted was invited with due courtesy into the Black home, and since Andromeda was finally here, they all began dinner. After seating themselves around the vast, ornately carved table, everybody had begun to eat, when the man, no, _Ted, _spoke up softly. "Excuse me, but haven't we forgotten to say grace?"

Grayson looked up in aggravation, before setting his knife down with a grating clink, causing Sirius to wince. "Why yes, it would seem we have. Why don't you lead us?"

Aurora simply looked on, as if saying grace was the vilest of rituals. Ted, either not noticing, or not caring, bowed his head, before telling all the others to do the same.

"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful." As everyone lifted their heads, Ted began talking once more. "May our bounty remain on this table as a symbol of good fortune through all our days, we thank you Lord." This time, all expected him to go on once more, so all heads stayed reverently bowed; causing Ted looked on in amusement. "Really, if you wanted it any longer, you should have asked," he said, smirking almost imperceptibly. Sirius smirked as well. He could grow to like Andromeda's friend.

Dinner continued on until Ted decided to speak up once more. "There's been so many senseless killing recently and for no good reason! Andy, did you read this morning's Prophet?" he inquired, turning to a silent Andromeda.

Andromeda blanched and nodded quickly before gazing at him intently, trying to convey with her eyes for him to shut up.

Ted, seemingly oblivious, didn't pick up on the hint and continued. "And who did they say was behind them? Ah yes, Lord Voldemort. Complete nutter if you ask me and high on power as well." His words were laced with contempt. Andromeda refrained from sinking her head into her arms and crying in despair, trying not to point out that nobody _had _asked him.

It was as if a bomb had exploded. Aurora looked aghast that anybody would use the Dark Lord's name in vain. Grayson stared at Ted in shock, anger simmering in his eyes. Bellatrix, two years older and freshly branded with the Mark, looked ready to kill but instead grabbed a knife and began hacking away at the steak, hoping it would somehow morph into the mudblood's face. Sirius however, looked at Ted with admiration in his eyes and gave him a warm smile, which Ted returned. If Ted realized the implications of his words, he gave no sign, but instead, fell thankfully silent.

"You should not speak of matters far beyond your understanding boy," Grayson said tightly, glaring at the boy seated next to his niece.

Ted made to reply but immediately clamped his mouth shut as Andromeda gave his shin a vicious kick. When Ted looked at Andromeda for explanation he met stony eyes that were clearly asking if he had a death wish.

From that point forward, dinner was a silent affair but for the clink of the silver utensils upon china. And the occasional sniff from Regulus, who was just getting over a cold. Or the gusty, angry sighs released by Aurora whenever she happened to glance at Sirius or Ted. Or Bellatrix's malevolent mutterings under her breath directed at a certain newcomer. Or Narcissa's lovesick sighs as she daydreamed of Lucius Malfoy. Or the sound of Uncle Alphard drunkenly slurping his soup. So maybe it wasn't so quiet. The point was, no one talked for the duration of the meal.

Once everyone had retired to the parlor once more, the men with their brandy and the woman with their gossip, Andromeda stood carefully at the doorway with Ted. The way she stood, it seemed as if she expected to have to make a run for it at any moment.

"Ahem," she began, as her family attempted to look indifferent. "This is, as you know, Ted Tonks. He's my husband." Andromeda stopped, and a pregnant pause ensued, while all sat dumbstruck.

Sirius was the first to speak. "Congrats, Andy, Ted!" he exclaimed, having gotten over his shock. He quite liked Ted Tonks and since Andromeda clearly looked happy with him, Sirius was happy for her. He gave them a hug and Andromeda looked slightly relieved. Her relief and thoughts that this wouldn't be as bad as she had imagined were short-lived.

Andromeda's mother looked up, rage in her hooded eyes, and turned on her daughter. "He is your_ what_?" She seemed disbelieving, almost urging her daughter to say it wasn't true. To say that she had not only consorted with a mudblood, but was now marriedto one.

It is always odd how much power the smallest of sentences can convey. The word 'no' has great power; it can cut of a mob in the parking lot, stop a three-year-olds wails. The word 'yes', however, can open a torrent of happiness; can bring a previously far off wedding into sharp focus. The words 'I love you' convey much power, if one can truly mean the words. In this case, the words 'he is your what' contained much meaning.

The words said that this had better be some sick joke. 'He is your what' said that, if Andromeda didn't declare she was joking now, only God would save her. The words also held a weary disappointment, as if Druella had always feared that her wayward daughter would do something like this. Whatever emotions the words may have held, they had the power to make Andromeda quail under her mother's gaze, before standing straighter.

"He's my husband," she said, in measured, tense tones, glaring defiantly back.

Aurora spoke up. "You _dare _to bring such filth into my house? You dare to marry such filth?" The way she said the words, it was clear that by describing Ted as 'filth' he was getting off easy. "A mudblood, Andromeda, a mudblood! _Now_ we've seen it all. The noblest house of Black defiled by Gryffindors, mudbloods, and traitors!" Aurora's words held a suppressed rage as her eyes looked over her niece, the mudblood, and finally came to rest on a silent Sirius, before moving back to Andromeda's slightly pale, but set face.

Andromeda made to reply, but was cut of as Aurora continued.

"You dare to walk into my house, with such company, and say you have married him? Married him! I'm not sure you realized what these means Andromeda! How am I ever going to show my face in public again? Countless generations of purity and this clear folly has ruined it forever! And I called you my family. You will never, ever be part of this family. I can barely look at you! Take your damn mudblood and _get out_. You have no business here, nor are you welcome."

Andromeda shot her mother a beseeching look, pleading with her to speak up on her and Ted's behalf. Druella just shook her head; stony eyes bored into a daughter that she had only yesterday been proud of. Bellatrix and Narcissa gazed at their sister in shock, mirroring their mother's expression.

Aurora shot her niece a malevolent glare before she turned swiftly and made her way up the stairs, the rest of the family scurrying behind her to see what she was about to do.

Drawing her finely polished wand, Aurora Black shot one disdainful glance in her former niece's direction before muttering a spell. A loud blast issued from the tip of her wand and a tendril of smoke began to rise from a charred hole. Andromeda's mother gasped and Aurora turned to look at her sister questioningly, as if daring her to speak; Andromeda's mother fell silent once more.

A slightly burnt hole was now in place where previously the words 'Andromeda Black' had been embroidered in gold. Aurora surveyed her handiwork and gave a satisfied smile. The smile quickly slid of her face as she turned to regard Andromeda. "You're not part of the family anymore. I never want to see you or that mudblood here again," she concluded shortly, without giving Ted so much as a glance.

Andromeda blanched at the venom in her voice. Squaring her shoulders Andromeda glared at her family. "Fine! If that's the way you want it, then we'll leave. C'mon Ted!" Grabbing her husband's hand, she marched out of the room, her angry footsteps echoing in the hallway.

A door slammed and sudden silence descended over the awestruck family.

Aurora took a moment to grieve that her most promising niece had gone down the wrong path before images of the mudblood banished any guilty thoughts. Aurora had always felt that Andromeda had had the best head on her shoulders; it seemed she had been sorely mistaken.

Sirius stared at the woman that he was ashamed to call a mother in shock and hatred. She had kicked out the one member of the family he actually got on with and now was calmly suggesting dessert. Sirius glared at her before making his way up the stairs, stomping his feet loudly.

"Sirius, where do you think you're going?" inquired his mother. Sirius turned back, with a solid movement that in an instant could have turned deadly.

Sirius leveled her with a hard, iron, gaze. "Out. I don't want to be part of this god damn family anymore."

Aurora merely shrugged. It made no difference to her that her eldest son was leaving. She had expected it one day and was secretly thankful it had come sooner rather than later.

Sirius shot his mother one last look before slamming his bedroom door and gathering his things. He could hear his mother, calmly masking all emotion by inviting all once more for the aforementioned dessert. He calmly disregarded it. Although Aurora wasn't invincible enough to brush off the hatred is her first-born's eyes she let the swift, sharp pain she had felt at Sirius's words go unanalyzed and held her head up, as if it was of no consequence to her whether Sirius stayed or left.

He couldn't stay here. He couldn't take it anymore and he knew one place where he would be more than welcome. One place that had felt more home to him than this place ever could. All in all, Sirius really wasn't sad to be leaving his childhood home. Only saddening memories remained here, and Sirius wanted no part of it. It was on that night that Sirius left his family behind without so much as a backward glance.

**End Flashback**

"Paaaddfoooooot. Ssirrriuuuuuuus." Sirius snapped back to life, and was confronted by his best friend's ice cream sticky hand. James, who had been trying to get his best friend's attention, smiled in satisfaction, before continuing on.

"Moony is…" Sirius examined his best friend through critical eyes, completely tuning out his voice. James had his shirt untucked, and wore a jacket over it. However, both shirt and jacket showed ice cream stains along the collar, and James's face was a spectacle. He was interrupted in his thoughts, however, by the overly loud sound of James's voice.

Turning, he realized that his best friend was yelling to get his attention, and was a couple seconds short of jumping up and down. "Yea, Prongs?"

James looked at him. "Do. You. Want. To. Go. With. Moony. To. Diagon. Alley. Tomorrow?" he asked, enunciating each syllable painstakingly slowly.

"Prongs?"

James looked at him inquisitively.

"I'm not deaf."

James smirked. "Could've fooled me…"

Sirius decided to take the high road, and ignored his friend. "Are we meeting Remus at Diagon Alley?"

James looked at his friend. "I thought you said you weren't deaf?"

Sirius glowered. "I'm not."

James looked at his friend in mock pity. "Padfoot, don't worry, denial is the first step to acceptance." He shook his head sadly, giving his allegedly deaf best friend sympathetic looks.

Sirius tried to contain his smile, but failed miserably, before continuing, "So, what about Moony? And Diagon Alley?

James contemplated his friend before answering. "Tomorrow morning Moony is coming over here, and then we're all going to Diagon Alley."

Sirius nodded once. "Alright then."

James kept talking. "Also, while you were experiencing a momentary auditory lapse, mum called us to dinner. C'mon, let's go."

As James and Sirius made their way to the dining room, James's thoughts began to wander to the one topic that was never far from his mind. Lily Evans. He even contemplated sending her another letter but decided against it, opting not to scar the poor girl (too bad he didn't realize he already had).

Sirius, having fully emerged into the real world, couldn't ignore the pangs of hunger issuing from his stomach and began to speed up.

As James hurried after him, he began to feel excited to be seeing Remus again and, more importantly, to be seeing Lily again. Too bad James didn't realize that he wasn't the only one who was looking forward to the September 1st. Practically the entire Hogwarts castle got a kick out of watching the warring 'couple' and this year seemed to be more promising than the last.

**A/N**: Please tell us what you think! Any review is greatly appreciated so we know that all the hits on our story aren't our combined obsession to actually see the story on the site. C'mon, we know you do it too! 

_Au revoir! _

**Sapphy and Scarlett aka Caeruleus Libellus **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_To make up for the hideously long wait between chapters one and two, we decided to post this one up pretty quickly. Thanks to people who reviewed our second chapter. Although the last chapter wasn't as funny as we would have wanted it to be, it needed to be written. This chapter is considerably more lighthearted and funny…at least to us. By the way, we feel we should tell you that we we're usually two to three chapters ahead of the ones we post, and that reviews will make us update much faster. So for all the people who mentally come to the end of chapter and wish 'man, I wish they updated soon' (which you should be doing)…all you have to do is ask._

_Please enjoy the third chapter of **Moments Lost in Time**._

_**CL**_

**It's _Dedication_!**

A loud, piercing whistle could be heard in the background as steam billowed like great clouds from the scarlet engine of the Hogwarts Express. James struggled to escape his mother's clutches.

"And behave! I don't know how many owls I get every year about you! We don't want to break any records!" admonished Serena Potter, before letting her child escape. She gave Sirius a hug as well, telling him that she expected the two of them home for Christmas.

James nodded once, before hurrying to the slowly moving train. "Bye Mum! Love you!" he yelled before expertly jumping on the train.

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," added Sirius before following his best friend.

Sirius and James maneuvered their way through the packed corridor, returning the 'hi's and 'how was your summer's that were issued to them from anyone they vaguely knew. Needless to say, it was a while before they arrived at what had long been designated the 'Marauder's compartment'.

"What took you so long?" asked a sandy-haired boy, looking at his friends in bemusement.

"The usual," replied Sirius. "People can't seem to take their eyes off me!" he added, clearly pleased with this fact. Sirius gave a little twirl, as if to impress upon his friend the wonder that he was.

Remus, grinning widely asked, "Would it have anything to do with the pink '**I AM GAY!**' sign on your back?" Remus plucked the offensive sign from his friend's back and shoved it into Sirius's face.

Sirius looked at the sign in horror. The sign was a lurid pink, with a dark pink border and daisies in the corners. The words themselves were made up of daisies and outlined in yellow. If the sign had said something as simple as 'kick me', it wouldn't have mattered. But when one had a hot pink sign on one's back declaring one gay, it had a very…different effect.

"James!" cried Sirius, rounding on his rather guilty looking friend.

"Sorry Padfoot – couldn't resist," apologized James, not looking sorry in the slightest.

Sirius held up his hands in mock disappointment. "It's not that you put it there in the first place. It's the fact that it's _so_ juvenile." He put an 'I-am-deeply-hurt' look on his face. "I mean, aren't I worth more thought?"

"No."

"It was a rhetorical question!"

Peter Pettigrew, the fourth, and last, Marauder chose this moment to speak up. "What's a rhetorical question?" he asked plaintively.

Remus, never one to turn down an academic explanation, began. "Well, you see Peter a rhetor-"

Peter cut him off. "It was rhetorical question!" he said in self-satisfied tones before he began giggling at his own joke unaware that his fellow Marauders' gazes were locked on him in horrified amazement.

"What?" he asked, the suspiciously feminine giggle petering out.

The three marauders said nothing, simply gazing at Peter, hoping they had heard wrong. Sirius finally decided to break the ice.

"James, are you sure you stuck this sign on the right person?"

At his words James and Remus smirked, while Peter turned a bright red. "I'm not entirely sure Padfoot; it all depends on Peter here. Tell me Peter, is there something you haven't been telling us?" James asked this question in the tones of a scientist observing his lab rat.

Remus smirked, and took on his role of resident psychiatrist. "It's okay Peter, the truth is always easier once it's out in the open," he said encouragingly.

"N-no!" Peter stuttered, unaware his friends were only teasing.

Remus looked at his friend sadly. He shook his head and made an imaginary mark on the metaphorical clipboard. "It's okay Peter, admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. C'mon the longer you wait the harder it becomes…"

Sirius looked at his friend in pity. "It might help if you carry this to remind yourself." He held out the '**I AM GAY**' sign.

Peter recoiled from the highly feminine sign and assured them that he was quite all right. He really was lucky he had such caring friends. Not many friends would help him through this difficult patch. The fact that there was no 'patch' apparently escaped Peter who was now too busy counting his lucky stars.

"Peter what are you doing?" Remus asked in concern. Peter stopped abruptly, realizing that he was miming 'counting the stars' by moving his fingers across the 'sky' as he muttered numbers under his breath, and quickly looked down.

"Uh, nothing, nothing at all," he forced out; following it up with what he hoped was a manly chuckle.

James rolled his eyes. "Moving on. I think we should go visit Lilykins!"

"You're not one for beating around the bush, are you mate?" Sirius observed, wondering when Lily was far from his friend's mind.

"And anyway, you didn't really think we _cared_ about what you think, did you?" added Remus sniggering.

These comments seemed to have no effect on James as he had already begun to make his way out.

"Hold on, lover boy," cautioned Remus, catching hold of the back of James's belt. "You can't go barging in!" However, Remus's comment lost much of its weight, since, when Remus tugged on the back of James's belt, it promptly gave way. Sirius and Peter were now busy trying not to regard a blushing James's Christmas tree covered boxers.

James quickly pulled his pants back up and resumed his seat, face burning.

"Didn't know you swung that way mate…" Sirius said carefully. At the threatening glare that James shot him: "Well, it's not everyday we get treated to your boxers on the Hogwarts Express. I _had_ to make a comment."

Peter, who had wisely decided to keep quiet after the Rhetorical Episode, spoke up once more. "Is it December already?"

"Shut up," muttered James furiously, making sure that this time his belt was securely fastened. In an effort to get the heat off of him and his boxers (they had been a Christmas present from his mother) he got back to the topic at hand. "Why can't I go visit Lily?!" he whined, clearly not happy.

"So you can go show _her_ your boxers too?"

"Moving _away_ from my boxers Padfoot! Moony, why can't I go see Lily?"

Remus looked at James. "Now James…let's review this. What usually happens when you go visit Lily?"

James winced, remembering the –shall we say, loud? – encounters that occurred whenever he asked the redhead out. James however, was not one to lose hope and made an effort to smile. "You know what they say…three hundred and twenty-seventh time lucky?"

Remus just merely shook his head 'no'.

"Well it's a good thing I don't care what you say," continued James robustly. "I'm going anyway! Coming Padfoot?" When Sirius also shook his head, James responded in a singsong tone, "You'll get to see Car-ee-naaa…"

"And what makes you think I even want to see Carina?" inquired Sirius, speaking of one of Lily's best friends.

James grabbed Sirius's hand and dragged him off of his seat. "You want to see her! You do! You just…don't know it yet," he concluded rather lamely.

Ignoring Remus's words of caution, James and Sirius began their trek to Lily's compartment.

Lily was sitting with her friends in a compartment farthest away from the Marauders (for a specific reason she didn't like to dwell on). Lily could easily say that up till this point the train ride was going extremely well. After a brief Prefect meeting, Lily had gotten to see Sierra and Carina after nearly two months of separation. The fact that she was on a moving train that was leading her further and further away from Petunia and her fiancée was just an added bonus. In addition to this, Potter and Black hadn't come down here with another hare-brained scheme to get Lily to go out with he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned (although she had just mentioned him in her thoughts just moments before – Lily was a big fan of self-delusion). But Lily knew it was only a matter of time. It had become a sort of tradition, one could say. Lily herself considered it to be a rather rare form of torture, but this sentiment was laughed off as being over dramatic.

Lily abruptly came to when she heard Carina's triumphant yells, "Beat you again, Sierra!"

Lily looked in amusement at Sierra's singed eyebrows and melancholy expression. "They're not _too_ bad are they?" she asked fearfully.

"Oh no, not at all," reassured Lily sniggering. Since Sierra's eyebrows were a dark blond, it looked like she had used her eyeliner on her eyebrows.

"Don't worry Sierra, I'll fix them when we get to Hogwarts," offered Carina.

"Thanks, Carina." Sierra subsided in relief, glad that she didn't have to walk into the school looking like this.

"Lily, do you want to play?" offered Carina, gathering up the scattered Exploding Snap cards.

"No thanks. I really don't want to walk in looking like a horror show."

Sierra's dark blue eyes widened in dread, "You said it wasn't that bad!"

Lily smirked. "I'm your best friend! I'm obligated to lie!"

Carina assured the blue eyed girl that it really wasn't as bad as she imagined and that it would be fixed soon enough. Tugging on one of the many black curls that surrounded her heart-shaped face, Carina turned to Lily. "Fine, your choice. But you're missing a chance to get beaten by me!" she countered in response to Lily's reluctance to play Exploding Snap.

Outside James and Sirius were eagerly eavesdropping at the girl's conversation, wondering when the best time to make their grand entrance was.

"What's happening? I can't hear a thing!"

Sirius shushed his friend without taking his eyes off of a certain vivacious, dark-haired girl before him, who was now eagerly passing out Exploding Snap cards, her greenish gray eyes alight with the victory that was sure to come.

James's eyes roamed over the compartment, passing over Sierra's wavy dark blond locks, and Carina's curls before resting on a certain redhead.

"There she is," sighed James. "She looks beautiful even when she's disgruntled!" Lily was indeed looking slightly disgruntled as she looked at the shrinking number of cards in Carina's hands, trying to concentrate before she lost her eyebrows as well.

Sirius shot a smitten James a sickened look before flinging open the compartment door with a bang. The loud sound echoed in the compartment and all three girls jumped, clearly startled, and dropped their cards. A loud crash ensued and when the smoke finally cleared, James and Sirius were facing three very, very angry girls, all of whom were missing a quite noticeable chunk of their eyebrows.

"Potter," Lily spat in a venomous voice.

"Why Lilypoo, it's so good to see you too," James said, making an effort to be charming. His efforts were quickly put to a stop by a threatening glare, at which point Sirius decided to step in.

Sirius slid in front of Carina and smirked suavely. "Why Carina, how simply enchanting to see you! Why words simply fail me on how enchanted this encounter is becoming." He quickly stopped when a scowl met him. "Er…I trust you had a good summer?"

Sierra beat Carina to her reply. "Oh, we all had a good summer Black. We were even having a fun train ride before _someone_ decided to barge in." She gave them all pointed looks.

James, still not ready to admit defeat, tried to go for a compliment. "Trying the singed look this year, Lilykins? It looks rather…nice. Why all the celebrities are trying it. Just last week the Surreal Sock-Puppets – nobody knows why they named themselves that, well actually I have this theory of mine-"

Lily had been growing steadily angrier as Potter blathered on inanely about puppets. She chose this moment to cut him off. "Get. Out."

"Is 'get out' supposed to be slang for 'come ravish me now'?" James asked with a suggestive smirk. "I don't know much muggle slang – but I'm sure I could learn…"

Lily eyes narrowed further. "_Get. Out_."

"Now, Lily, is this _any_ way to treat someone that you've been pining for all summer long?"

"**_GET OUT! _**Oh and by the way 'get out' means 'get out now before you have to taken away in _bits and pieces_ on a _stretcher_!"

Carina stepped in to diffuse the situation. "Really James, maybe you'd better leave…and take Black as well. He's utterly useless anyway," she added dismissively.

Sirius, looking highly affronted, retorted, "Oh, so he gets 'please leave' while I get 'go, since you're utterly useless anyway'? How's that fair?"

"It's not fair Black – it's life. Now leave!"

"Did I mention that you have an extremely warm and approachable personality, Carr?"

"It's _Carina_ to you. And by the way Black, if you don't leave this instant, your name will be the first in tomorrow's paper. In the _obituaries section_," she finished rather ominously.

"Actually Carr, it really depends on how many people are killed today before and after me. It usually goes in chronological order, you see." Sirius said all this in highly patronizing tones, looking at Carina like she was a thick-skulled moron not to have figured this out.

Now, outsiders might wonder why Carina was being particularly mean to Sirius, or 'Black', as she preferred to call him, and was leaving James unscathed. Let's just say that she and James went back a long way. She had known James when they were both in the womb, while their mothers chatted away, reminiscing about their Hogwarts days. In fact, Isabella Favreaux had named her best friend, Serena Potter, Carina's godmother, and Carina had spent nearly half her childhood at the Potter manor, while James spent an equally large amount of time at the Favreaux estate. James thought of Carina as the sister he had never had, and, even though they had grown slightly apart upon their entry into Hogwarts, both still maintained a strong friendship. As Carina couldn't help bringing up, she had enough blackmail on James to have potential girlfriends run screaming. James could clearly remember how mischievous Carina had been growing up - mischievousness she still retained to this day. He could vividly recall his third birthday party.

**Flashback**

A newly turned six year old James was beamingly widely, party hat perched upon an ever messy head of hair. He had just finished blowing out his candles, quite proud that he managed this remarkable feat without assistance.

Serena leaned over her son to reach for a knife, intending to help her son cut the cake and pass it on to the eagerly awaiting neighborhood children. But Carina, seated next to James, decided to beat her to the punch.

Carina took one chubby hand and sunk it deep into the center of poor James's cake, and, smirking widely, smacked the cake into a flabbergasted James's face. Then, calmly licking her fingers and surveying her handiwork, she remarked coolly, "You know Jamie, you might want to think of using a spoon next time. And what about the rest of us? It's only polite to share…"

She turned to an equally shocked Serena, who was trying to hide a smile, and said, "Isn't it polite to share Auntie Serena?"

Serena, unable to scold the goddaughter who was looking at her with such huge, innocently twinkling green-gray eyes, only nodded before taking out a washcloth and mopping a still silent James's cake-covered face.

Although James had gotten Carina back later that evening in the garden by tickling her till she apologized, it was still one of his favorite memories of Carina.

**End Flashback **

Now, those huge green eyes, a lighter color that Lily's and flecked with grey, were snapping with fire, as she glared at Sirius.

"Why won't you just bloody well leave?!"

"And miss spending time with crotchety old you? Not a chance, babe."

Carina, scowling at being called a 'babe' by _Sirius_, turned to James. "James, please?" Then she added in sly tones, "Unless you want Lily to hear in vivid detail about the time with the…"

She didn't even need to finish before James was making frantic shushing noises, chocolate brown eyes alight with worry. He didn't need to know what incident she was referring to, she knew way too many of his embarrassing moments for it to matter.

"You know what? Let's leave Lily to think about what she's missing by turning me down, shall we?" James said quickly; still managing to grin at a less than happy Lily.

"What I'm missing Potter? You mean hearing twenty-four seven about wonky dives-"

"Wronksi Fients Lily!" exclaimed Sierra, a beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, looking at her friend askance. James and Sirius, seeker and beater respectively, also mirrored their teammate's look of horror.

Lily rolled her eyes before continuing, "-hearing about dung bombs and whoopee cushions-"

"We would _never_ sink to using whoopee cushions!" cried an indignant Sirius, outraged that his status as a prankster was under fire.

"-and how brave, smart, talented, and all around great you think you are Potter?" finished a sardonic Lily, peeved that she had been interrupted so many times.

"You really think I'm that great Lily?" said a clearly pleased James, having clearly missed the fact that Lily's words had been laced with considerable sarcasm. He automatically lifted one hand to his head, running it through his hair, and flashing an award-wining grin.

Lily glared at him – or rather his hand which was still running through a mop of hair that she so wished to set fire to. If there was anything that irked Lily more that Potter's considerable arrogance, it was his infuriating habit of running his hand through his black hair. Did he even shampoo? Lily couldn't understand Potter's odd fixation with his hair, and nor did she want to.

"Just leave," said Carina, giving James a poke in the back to help him move faster out the door.

After telling Carina that he would see her later, informing Sierra of when the first Quidditch meeting was, and asking Lily out one more time for good measure, James decided to leave, Sirius, only too happy to follow.

As the two boys left, Lily couldn't help sighing in relief. It was over. She had survived a train ride with Potter with no causalities. She wasn't worried about herself – she was too concerned about what he could drive her to do. Lily, sitting back down, reveled in the silence, glad that two annoying voices were no longer interrupting it. Too bad a shriek soon did.

"My _eyebrows_!" yelled an appalled Carina, having pulled out a hand mirror. "I am going to _murder_ James!"

"Really?" Lily asked in an oddly (or maybe it wasn't so odd considering how James had managed to interpret 'get out') hopeful tone.

Carina and Sierra just exchanged an amused look before their grins turned into frowns as Sierra took the mirror from her friend and regarded her badly burned eyebrows.

"You know what? I'm going to go visit Paul's compartment and see if he still has some of that hair regrowth potion that Mum whipped up." At her friends' questioning looks, Carina remarked defensively, "What? He kept losing to me too…"

Paul Calder Favreaux was Carina's brother, also a Gryffindor, although he was two years younger and in fourth year. Leaving her friends chuckling over an image of Paul with no eyebrows, Carina set out to find him.

As Carina wended her way through the hallways, saying 'hi' to the people she knew, she wondered how long it would take for her to find her younger brother's compartment. Deciding to pop in and quickly say hi to her friend Allison, she opened the compartment that Allison and her friends usually occupied. The sight that met her, caused her hands to be brought to her mouth in disgust, and left the compartment door to bang against the wooden frame.

Sirius, who had she had seen only moments before following James, was now furiously snogging with a sixth-year that Carina vaguely recognized from Herbology. When the couple heard the bang of the door they sprang apart, looking slightly guilty.

"Uh, Ca-Carina….We - we were just – we were…" stuttered a surprised Sirius. The girl just looked annoyed at the unexpected interruption.

"Uh, yeah, I know what you were doing…" Carina couldn't help thinking how awkward this was. Then she couldn't help feeling angry at Sirius's flagrant behavior. _I mean if he wants to stick his tongue down some tart's throat does he have to do it so publicly?_ Carina conveniently chose to forget the fact that before her arrival, Sirius had been snogging in a _private_ compartment.

"I'll just be going now," she stated evenly. After shooting Sirius a filthy look, she left the compartment, back ramrod straight.

A flustered Carina resumed her quest to find Paul, but had barely gone two steps when she stopped again at the sound of her name being called. When she turned, she realized that she had just walked past Allison's compartment, which was beside the one that Sirius had been occupying. Feeling like a moron, Carina forced a smile onto her face before doubling back and talking to Allison for a few minutes.

After a while, Carina started to feel better, pushing the image of Sirius wrapped around the tart to the back of her mind, and genuinely started to enjoy herself. Allison was full of funny stories regarding her vacation in Italy with her young cousins. Regretfully, Carina apologized, and said she had to leave, and continued on down to find Paul, her bad mood diminished.

Peeking into all the compartments in an effort to find Paul, Carina continued on, growing increasingly worried that she would have to walk into school looking like a two-year old who had stolen her mother's wand. Absentmindedly, Carina peered into the next compartment and recoiled in shock.

Sirius was sitting in the compartment, shamelessly snogging the living daylights out of some floozy, one Carina barely even knew. Carina felt the oddest sensation pass through her. Too bewildered to identify it, or subconsciously not wanting to, she passed the compartment, seething. She had no intention of marching in there and humiliating herself for the second time in half an hour.

So preoccupied was Carina, she didn't hear her name being called until she had passed the person altogether.

"Carina!"

She quickly turned and saw her brother waving at her. "What are you doing here?" Then, noticing her eyebrows, he remarked in highly amused tones, "What happened to your eyebrows? Don't tell me _you _lost?"

Carina forced herself to smile. "James, bloody idiot that he is, and Black came in and made us drop our cards," she explained with a rueful smile. "Can I borrow some of that hair regrowth potion?"

"Yea, come in for a sec." Carina followed her brother into his compartment and smiled politely at his friends while he rooted around in his trunk.

"Here it is!" he exclaimed triumphantly, taking out a small bottle filled with a bright colored liquid. Carina thanked him and made to leave.

As she was walking down the hall she heard one of her brother's friends say, "Man, your sister is hot!"

She grinned to herself as Paul made gagging noises and asked incredulously, "My _sister_ is _what_?"

"Don't tell me you haven't _noticed_?"

"God, she's my _sister_. It's not like I look. I don't _want_ to notice!"

Although Carina was aware that being named hot by fourteen year olds was not the best she could do, she felt oddly light-hearted. Carina traipsed down the hallway, her good mood seeming imperturbable, at least until she happened upon Allison's compartment once more. When she looked into the compartment, she saw that it was empty, except for two frighteningly familiar individuals. Allison's friends had wisely decided to jump ship and leave Allison to snog Sirius senseless.

Sirius. Carina couldn't believe him. Even though she knew that he was a bit of a player, snogging three _different_ girls in the space of half and hour was just too much.

Buoyed by her anger, she unwittingly made her way into the compartment, barely realizing what she was doing. The door banged shut once more in her wake as she stalked in.

Sirius and Allison sprang apart at once, and Sirius turned to Carina. To say that he was annoyed was an understatement "Carina! Have you made it your mission in life to bloody stalk me? I mean I can understand _why_ but, really, it's scary. Even James doesn't walk in on Lily this much."

Carina snapped, "Oh, you're bloody hilarious - you should have your own damn show. It would be a good way for people to sleep without the friggin' sleeping pills." Taking on the persona of an enraged and bored housewife, she quipped, "Where the hell do you get off snogging three slags in the space of one bloody half hour?"

Sirius smirked. "And what does it matter to you anyway? And Carina, what the hell are you doing here? I mean, surely, you have greater purpose in life than to police me?"

Carina fumbled for words. "Sirius!" she cried angrily, before immediately losing her momentum and scrambling to form a coherent sentence. "You're supposed to be-"

"Yes, Carr darling, what is it that I'm supposed to be doing?" he challenged, his eyebrows raised mockingly.

"You're supposed to be…" she cast around for the correct words, hoping they would suddenly hit her in a flash of inspiration. "You're supposed…to be…**_changing into your school robes_**! We'll be arriving at Hogwarts soon!" she finished triumphantly. Inwardly, she cringed. _Changing into his robes. Where had _that_ come from? Bursts of inspiration were supposed to be inspiring, not lame, dammit. Changing into his robes. Why not just tell him to _brush his teeth_ and be done with it? _

To preserve her dignity, she turned on Allison.

"And just what did you think _you_ were doing?" Allison, unused to Carina's mood swings, cowered, before making her way out of the door as inconspicuously as possible.

"Ahem…um…er…I think I'll just get er…going now. Yea! See?" Allison mimed hearing someone, bringing her hand up to her ear. "They're calling me! Well, gotta go!"

Sirius admired Allison's retreating backside before turning to Carina, a scowl on his face. Giving her a once over appraisingly, he smirked slightly, before allowing his eyes to return to her face. "Babe, if you haven't noticed, you aren't properly attired in you school robes, either."

Carina flushed as she looked down, realizing that Sirius was, in fact, correct. Attempting to salvage her broken dignity, she spoke. "Good point!" she cried, wincing at the sound of her own voice. "So…let's go change together!" Grabbing hold of his hand, Carina marched out the door, tugging Sirius with her. However she was forced to stop when she rebounded against his chest as Sirius refused to move.

If it were possible, his smirk grew in size, "You want us to change…_together_?"

Carina scowled. "I never said that!"

"Yes you did."

Carina tugged once more. "Stop being such a bloody prat and let's go. _Now._"

As the bickering couple walked back towards Carina's compartment, they were bombarded by shrieks, screams, and Sierra's distinctive tones. They had almost made their back to Carina's compartment when they were assaulted by Shawn Goldman, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.

"Hey babe," he said, before his eyes fell on Carina's hand which was still holding Sirius's. "Are you two going out?"

"Wha..?" When Shawn glanced pointedly at her hand, she flushed and immediately dropped Sirius's hand like she had been scalded. "Of course we're not going out! Hell no!"

Shawn shrugged. "Well, see ya later babe," he said, making his way back into his compartment.

"Yea sure," called back Carina, smiling. As soon as Shawn was out of sight, her smile slid off her face before she muttered savagely, "Prick."

Sirius, hearing her, grinned slightly. "You know, I've always wanted to beat that guy up…" Sirius remarked as both he and Carina entered her compartment.

"Beat who up?" inquired Sierra curiously. She was sitting where Carina had left her, leafing through the latest edition of Witch Weekly.

"Shawn Goldman," supplied Carina.

"Why does Sirius want to beat him up?" she asked, still confused.

"Because," Sirius explained unsatisfactorily.

"Because…?"

"Because, that git is a…git," Sirius concluded lamely.

Sierra merely raised her eyebrows. "Wonderful where our country's tax money is going isn't it?" she remarked conversationally. "When our youth can barely describe people or justify their actions without resorting to slang."

Carina laughed. It was then that they noticed a purple Lily and a flustered James, sitting with his arms crossed across his chest like a four year old throwing a tantrum.

James was the one they had heard yelling earlier. "It's _dedication_ Lil!"

"You're being a _STUBBORN_ ARSE!"

"I'm not stubborn!" yelled James back stubbornly.

"What's going on?" asked Sirius, looking questioningly at Sierra.

"Well, after you left James decided to come back and show Lily how much he 'loved' her," Sierra pulled a face. "He decided that he would sit by her side for the rest of the ride and not leave. This apparently shows his 'dedication'. Lily however, is completely convinced that this isn't a romantic gesture but a way to ruin her life forever," Sierra finished dryly.

Carina shook her head sadly. "Typical."

It was then that Lily and James noticed the return of Carina and Sirius.

"Did you get the potion?" asked Lily, still pissed off but trying not to show it.

"Yup," replied Carina, proffering the bottle.

James, noticing Sirius, asked, "Where did you go?"

Sirius grinned. "I was with some ladies spreading some joy," he quipped lightly. James, seeming to understand this meant 'I was snogging furiously with three different girls', smirked.

Sirius gave a complacent smile and shrugged. Carina glared at his off-hand tone, and wondered if any of the girls he had kissed realized that Sirius was just using them. She began to grow steadily angrier.

"For God's sake Sirius, can you be any more disgusting?!" she screamed, glaring at him.

James had gone back to bothering Lily who had reached her breaking point. "James! Stop being such a friggin' twit and just leave!"

Both James and Sirius looked taken aback by the girl's outbursts. But the girls weren't even remotely finished.

"I mean do you realize that those girls probably think you're going out with them now?" Carina shrieked.

"God, all guys are such insensitive jerks! James if you think you sitting here is going to make me like you than you are _so_ wrong, it's not even funny!"

"I mean, have some dignity Sirius! Do think this is some kind of _goddamn game_ or something?"

James and Sirius were staring in shock at a red faced Lily and Carina, and began to back away slowly. Sierra, taking a moment to enjoy the fact that Gryffindor's male pride were cowering in a corner while her friends ranted at them, decided the time had come for her to step in.

Sierra tried to grab hold of Lily and Carina's arms and pull them back from the boys. Lily chose that moment to move, however, causing Sierra to go plunging past her, and punching James on the side of his face.

Carina, who had been knocked off balance by Sierra's fall, tottered unsteadily for a few moments before falling onto Sirius and managed to give him a bloody nose.

Sierra scrambled off the ground and helped Carina up as well. Silence descended over the compartment as both James, who was clutching his steadily bruising eye, and Sirius, who was trying to stop the blood spurting from his nose, whimpered in pain.

"I'm so sorry James!" cried Sierra in dismay. "I didn't mean to do that, honest!"

"S'ok," muttered James gruffly, wincing all the while. Lily was also worried and moved closer to James.

"Are you sure you're ok James?"

James, hearing the note of concern in Lily's voice, immediately brightened up. "I'm sure if you kiss me I'll survive…somehow," he said mournfully, before looking up at her hopefully.

Before Lily knew what she was doing, she had lifted her hand and slapped James clear across the face. A red handprint was now on James's right cheek, mixing quite colorfully with his already black eye.

Sirius couldn't help laughing at the dumbfounded expression on his friend's face, but immediately grimaced in pain again. He looked at Carina, who was still glaring down at him, clearly expecting an apology. Instead, he received a stare cold enough to freeze hell over.

"You're not getting an apology Sirius," she stated flatly. "In fact, the sight of you with a bloody nose has brightened up my day considerably."

Sierra helped both James and Sirius up before pushing them roughly out the door. "Bye!" she called cheerfully, watching them shuffle out of sight, before slamming the door and turning back to her friends.

The three girls looked at each other in silence for a moment before they burst out laughing for absolutely no reason. They were still chortling as they changed into their robes.

Back in the Marauder's compartment, James and Sirius were met with completely unsympathetic friends. Remus couldn't help reiterating the fact that they had 'gotten what they deserved' and that he had 'told them not to go in the first place'. Peter just looked at a thoroughly bruised James and Sirius in wonder. When he pointed out, oddly gleeful, that they had gotten beaten up by a bunch of girls, both James and Sirius glowered, blackmailing Peter until he promised never to repeat this fact again.

When the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade, James couldn't help but wonder what sixth year had in store for them. Considering the slightly _painful_ train ride he had just experienced, he wasn't sure he really wanted to find out.

As Sirius jumped from the train yelling war cries (he was weird like that), James grinned, and set off after him. Inside the castle, there was food, a warm bed, and a fiery redhead that he was sure would soon be his; what could go wrong? James had only to find out.

**A/N:** _At this moment we would like to mention that there is little button on the screen that you can click to review. We take effort to churn out these 4000 plus word chapters. The least you can do is leave a 10-12 word reply._

_We hope everybody has a good Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/Whatever else you celebrate and a rousing start to 2007. Our resolution will be to update sooner and maybe yours will be to review more? Oh, and be sure to make a resolution to keep your resolution, since, personally, we never manage to keep them. :D_

_Toodles!_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_Hey guys! Sorry about the long wait but we did have finals coming up and we had resorted to feverishly flipping through textbooks and asking ourselves when exactly any of this information was ever going to help us in life. But now that finals are finally over (yes!) here is the fourth chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time**_. Enjoy!_

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

**Chapter Four: 'Cahplooey!'**

The quartet entered the Great Hall, talking slightly amongst themselves, discussing their start-of-term prank. Sirius, oblivious to the fact that he was in a crowded hall, had chosen to skulk through the corners like a secret agent, singing the James Bond theme song under his breath as he went. His hands were held up in a gunman's position directly beneath his chin, neatly avoiding the masses as he swept through the corridor.

James looked at his best friend in amusement, and was about to join him, when Peter chose to instead. The trouble was, Peter wasn't half as graceful as Sirius, and while Sirius coasted from corner to corner relatively unharmed, Peter was a giant, blundering, clumsy roadblock. As Peter blundered his way through the halls, Remus sighed in exasperation, before turning to James, about to make a comment on how immature it all was.

He was to be sadly disappointed, however, for while Remus had been watching Peter, James had followed Sirius, and the two now held their fists up to their faces, speaking into the two-way mirrors they always had. Moving gracefully, they made their way towards the Great Hall, but stopped abruptly at the sound of a high-pitched, blood-curdling shriek. Turning towards the unearthly wail, one couldn't help but shudder at the wrong, utterly …_wrong_ image.

Peter Pettigrew was tangled up with a girl. One may not realize the significance of this situation, but let me paint a picture for you. Peter Pettigrew is quite short, at 5'6", chubby, blond, and, in an inexplicable way, always reminds one of a pig. When one sees such a character tangled up with a good looking girl in a crowded corridor, one tends to shudder in revulsion before turning away, to occupy one's mind with more pleasant things.

Unfortunately, the majority of the Hogwarts students were pubescent perves and all leaned forward to catch a glimpse of Peter, who was sprawled upon the floor, with the girl on top of him. Sirius took one look and burst out laughing. "Evans, I know you hate James's guts, but don't you think this is going a _bit _far in seeking revenge? Why didn't you try something original, something that doesn't involve giving Peter a lap dance in a hallway? Look at poor James, you've broken his heart!"

This statement didn't count for much, however, because at this very moment, James was laughing himself high, before remarking, "So you like it on top, do you Evans?" Ignoring the face that was growing more and more red by the minute, he laughed and said with ease, "Get off of poor Peter, you're about to smother him." Holding out his hand to the smoldering red-head, he smirked in what he hoped was a suave, collected manner.

Unfortunately, all he got for his troubles was a loud, resounding slap across the same cheek she had struck before. Getting up, she glared at him, before gathering her dignity and making her way into the Great Hall, Sierra in tow. Carina stayed behind a couple moments, schooling her laughter, before saying solemnly, "You shouldn't have done that." Needless to say, this comment was a bit confusing to the boys, but they shook it off, before following Carina, and, much to Lily's disgust, sitting close by them.

They promptly began speaking in whispers, and Lily, much to her chagrin, couldn't hear a word. Lily had a few principles - commandments, if you will. One of them, first and foremost, was to stop mischief in its raging infernal path. When the top four mischief makers were conversing closely in whispers, she, of course, had to eavesdrop. If she eavesdropped, she could stop them, and have one up on Potter. It was a win/win situation.

In this case, she could hear almost nothing, and this annoyed her greatly. How was one supposed to eavesdrop if the people one was eavesdropping upon refused to speak up? Sliding smoothly into their midst, she decided that Remus was the most likely person with whom to strike a conversation. Normally, Peter would have been the most likely to crack, but Lily was far too mortified from their previous encounter to talk to, or even look, at him.

"Hey, Remus, when's our homework due?" Bugger. What sort of a rubbish question was that? It was summer vacation. And while Lily had faithfully completed all her summer assignments it was quite obvious that these would all be due on their first day of classes.

Remus looked at her in amusement for a moment, before opening his mouth to reply, "Well, when teachers give you summer vacation, they usually expect it the first day back. Usually, and, correct me if I'm wrong, two odd months are enough for _most_ people," he said in patronising tones.

Lily's face flamed red, before she turned casually to Peter, sucked up her courage, and said simply, "And Peter, I wanted to apologize for that… ahem…incident, outside."

Peter stammered, before replying in what he hoped a dashing, debonair manner. "No matter, Evans, it is okay." Here he held up three fingers in a universal sign for 'okay' to indicate how ok he truly was. Lily barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Peter, in his magnanimous acceptance, conveniently forgot that it was, in fact, his own fault their collision had taken place. "Think nothing of it," he concluded grandly.

"And besides," Sirius added with a grin, "Peter enjoyed it, didn't you Pete? It's not everyday girls jump him in the entrance hall." James smirked slightly, grinning at a blushing Lily.

"I didn't _jump him_!" spat Lily. "He collided with me!"

"Of course he did," replied Sirius, infuriatingly, making it quite clear that he didn't believe a word.

"He did!"

Lily had just begun a well planned out tirade, when James drawled, "Anyways, Evans, now that you know that when the homework is due, would you just run along now?" He made a shooing motion with his hands to hurry her along.

Lily, in fact, had every intention of leaving, but in her opinion, his last comment only proved her point. They were discussing a – insert audible gasp here - prank. "No, Potter, I have no intention of 'running along'. Tell me, are you, or are you not, planning a prank?"

James looked at Lily, before smirking. "And what if we are? What's it to you?"

"What's it to _me_? I will have you know, Potter, that I am a prefect!"

He just looked at her. "So...?" he drawled, not looking the least bit bothered. "Remus is a prefect too but he hasn't made it his life mission to hunt down everyone whose stuck gum under their desks because they broke a 'rule'." James's face and tone of voice clearly betrayed the utter disdain he felt for the 'rules'.

Remus colored slightly under Lily's furious gaze. "Leave me out of this James..."

James sneered at Lily. "Are you quite done being an annoying busybody or is there more?"

Lily drew herself up to her full height. "You James Potter are a disgrace to the name of wizard. I don't understand why you have to prank people. You're not in first year anymore Potter. Grow up!"

James looked like he had been slapped (again), and made to reply in an effort to cover this up, but was interrupted by the arrival of the first years. Lily shot him one last spiteful look before sliding back to her own seat, as the first years looked apprehensively at The Hat.

James, still feeling slightly peculiar, as though Lily had, once again, treated him to her right hook, settled for watching after her in disquiet. Why did she have to do that? It wasn't as if he did anything to her, besides tease her, laugh at her, and make fun of her for his endless amusement, but besides that…practically nothing!

Girls - he thought – barking mad the lot of them. Maybe Evans was PMSing. Yea, that had to be it; why else would she be so…so…difficult? Convinced that he had cracked the problem, James returned his attention to the sorting, which had just finished.

"And now, before we dine, a few last words," Dumbledore began, "bon appetite!"

As soon as he had finished, the tables found themselves laden with food of all kinds, in a mouthwatering array.

Lily looked in disgust at Potter, as he ran his hand through his hair. What was it with his hair, and his hand? It was ridiculous; did he even wash his hair? What was the point, anyway? What an idiot. There were many reasons why Lily was mad at James; but first and foremost, came the fact that she couldn't eavesdrop. The noise in the hall prevented any beneficial eavesdropping. Due to this, Lily found herself sliding once more into the midst of the marauders.

The four were deep in conversation, and didn't hear her this time, carrying on, oblivious to her presence. "Moony, you bring the cloak, and bring it to-" James noticed Lily just then, and took in her scowl, before stopping short. As one, the rest of the marauders turned to look at her, all exasperated at being constantly interrupted by the same person.

"Ha!" Lily cried. "So you are planning a prank!"

Sirius looked at her, and frowned. "So what if we are?"

Remus, sitting next to him, winced at his mistake. _No one_ ever told Lily Evans that a prank in the works was nothing to her. Lily drew herself up, her emerald eyes spitting fire as she stared them down. "What's it to me? Why don't to ask Remus, seeing as my business should be his business, since we're _both prefects_." She hissed the last few words, throwing Remus a particularly threatening look.

Remus cowered beneath her gaze, before replying, "Ahem, Lily, well you see, the term prefect implies that we will stop mayhem, but it says nothing whatsoever about not… causing…it?" He stammered and wavered of, ending his statement as a nervous question. However, Lily was not to be appeased, and instead turned on James.

"James, tell me now: are you planning a prank?"

"Maybe."

"James, are you planning a prank?"

"Maybe."

"Yes or no?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no."

"James, I'm losing what little patience I have. Tell me right now before I, I…"

"Yes, Lily, what are you going to do to me? Would it have anything to do with the Quidditch changing rooms? Or even a broom closet, really, I'm not fussy."

"Potter, tell me now, before…before I remove your already faulty and miniscule ability to have children," she finished menacingly, looking down pointedly, before looking back up at his face.

James gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing frantically, before gathering up his courage. "No."

"No, your ability to have children is not faulty and miniscule, or no, you won't tell me?"

"No to both!" James exclaimed indignantly. "My ability to have children is neither faulty nor miniscule-"

Sirius interrupted James in what would no doubt have been another preposition. "I beg to differ."

James glared. "It's not! Besides, Sirius, how would you know? Is there something you'd like to tell us?"

Without missing a beat, Sirius quipped, "No, all I wanted to say was that size doesn't matter! Shame on you James for thinking of such material things!"

Peter began blushing (biology had never been his favorite subject), when Carina and Sierra joined them, wondering whether James's funeral preparations were to be begun now, or in a couple minutes, after he died.

"What, exactly, is faulty and miniscule?" Carina enquired.

Sirius, only too happy to stress one of his favorite topics, replied eagerly, "James's ability to have children!"

Carina gasped in mock astonishment. "But…but Black, I thought that was what _you _were famous for!"

"Yea, now you and James can form a club! Society of the Faulty and Miniscule: Co-presidents' Sirius Black and James Potter! I'm sure Lockhart would be happy to join you," Sierra laughed.

Lockhart, who had been passing their table on his nightly autograph route (similar to a paper route except with, well, autographs), chose to pass by them at this opportune moment, and, sweeping past Lily, proceeded to bestow signed photos to each member of the bemused group. "Yes, yes, hand autographed by me!" He stopped to smile and hold up his picture, so that viewers were blinded by two identical sets of white teeth smiling at them cheesily. "Not to worry, not to worry, there will be enough!" he cried, as Sierra fell forward, laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Lockhart, having grinned and given portraits to all in the vicinity, left, leaving the majority of viewers in hysterical fits of laughter.

Lily, who did not take happily to being ignored, was not amused, and had been growing steadily angrier as all around her continued to talk without acknowledging her. At this point, she was pretty pissed off. She called everyone's attention to her once more, with an angry growl, her nostrils flaring. "Potter, yes or no, are you planning a prank?"

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I just don't want to tell you."

Lily screamed in frustration, and turned on Sirius, since James wasn't saying anything. "Sirius, are you planning a prank?"

"I don't know, am I?"

Lily forced a smile, as though dealing with an uncontrollable delinquent. "Sirius, I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. Care to tell me?"

"Not particularly, no." Sirius, unable to form the words properly due to a full mouth, lifted his eyebrows in indication of what should have been a smirk, and, despite his best efforts, sprayed a fine layer of pudding endorsed mist.

Carina, sitting across from him, recoiled slightly. "Chew, swallow, and then speak Black. Too difficult a concept to comprehend for your ickle baby brain?"

"Not at all Caaar..." replied Sirius, opening his mouth wide as he said 'Carr' to punctuate his point.

Carina turned away clearly repulsed. "Honestly," she muttered, "he should be locked up in a zoo somewhere."

Sirius, having stuffed his mouth once more, was unable to reply, and merely looked up, before making a round of unintelligible sounds most expected from an ape. "Ah goo' la ah shoe sew an' 'allo. Ah us on' keel ike aht."

"So, I suppose the theory that we evolved from the apes is truer for some than others," Sierra quipped, with a pointed, disgusted look at Sirius.

Carina, for her part, had decided that it wasn't even worth continuing the conversation, and had turned to James to discuss the new broom featured in the latest edition of Quidditch Weekly.

As soon as Dumbledore had given his usual start of term announcements, and Sirius had inhaled every savory desert in sight, cloaks rustled as students began making their way up to their respective dormitories.

James began to make his way towards the entrance hall, following Lily's bobbing head of fiery hair, leading a train of awestruck first years to Gryffindor tower, Remus bringing up the rear. James turned to his left, intending to make a remark to Sirius, but found, to his surprise, that Sirius was no longer beside him. James tried to slow down, but the relentless crowd pushed on, leaving James with no choice but to continue. He quickly sidestepped a few over-excited Hufflepuffs and made his way into another, quieter corridor. It would only take a few more minutes to get to his dorm, and this way, James figured, was probably going to much quieter. He didn't know how wrong he was going to be.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Lily was in a relatively good mood. Ok, so yea, the interrogation on suspect James Potter (she liked to think like this...don't ask) hadn't gone entirely too well, but Lily figured she would focus on the weakest link - Pettigrew. Lily shuddered a bit, the memory of colliding into Peter still fresh in her mind. As soon as she returned to her dormitory, she would take a LONG, HOT shower...with antibacterial soap.

Lily had showed the first years their dormitories, and halfway up the stairs to her own, she had realized that she was missing her bracelet. She frantically tried to remember where she'd put it, not wanting to lose her father's Christmas present, and realized, with relief, that she had left it by her plate during dinner. She was hoping that it would still be there, and if it wasn't, she could always ask a house elf, who was sure to have seen it.

As Lily made her way down, she heard the muffled spell being fired, some shouting, and running. Jogging a bit now, she doubled back slightly and turned into the corridor she had just passed. Following the sounds, she turned once more and came face to face with a startling - and enraging - discovery.

James Potter was standing in front of a frightened second year, holding out his wand, chest heaving. It was at that moment that James glanced up and noticed her there. His chocolate brown eyes, still blazing with anger, met her shocked and accusing emerald ones. A moment of silence ensued, James's look immediately changing to apologetic, and slightly guilty.

'Alright Lily,' she told herself, 'be calm. Be rational. Don't jump to conclusions. Discuss this with Potter calmly, and everything will be alright.'

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING POTTER?! RESORTED TO HEXING POOR DEFENSELESS SECOND YEARS NOW? EVERY TIME I THINK YOU CAN'T GET ANY LOWER, YOU GO AHEAD AND DO!"

Well, nobody had said she was perfect. Lily hadn't really mastered the art of thinking things through and then actually following up on her thoughts.

James's somewhat apologetic look immediately transformed into one of anger once more. "Why do you just _assume_ I did something?" he cried, waving his arms in the air to express his indignation. A few sparks shot from his polished wand.

Lily stared at him in disbelief. Was this lowlife going to actually try to get out of this? When she had caught him red-handed?

"WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE? WHAT WOULD _YOU_ BELEIVE IF YOU SAW WHAT I JUST SAW JAMES?"

"I don't know! But I wouldn't just jump to conclusions! And why are you shouting?" he added, wincing slightly when she replied.

"I AM NOT SHOUTING!" Lily, realizing that she was, in fact, shouting, repeated herself. "I am not shouting," she said in forceful, deliberate tones.

"Well at least give me the benefit of doubt."

"Fine, Potter, I can't deny that I'm anxious to hear the latest cock and bu-"

"Hahaaaaaaa!" the second year cried in glee, "You said COCK!"

Both James and Lily turned around in unison, Lily agitated that her quest for justice was being unnecessarily delayed, while James attempted to keep a straight face. He failed miserably, and a wide grin broke out, looking uncannily like a proud father having heard his son's first word.

The second year looked up, cowering slightly beneath Lily's furious gaze. "Uh, or, umm... you know, it's okay, really, nothing interesting, I think I should just head up now..."

"Yea think?" Lily yelled; spit flying out of her mouth at alarming velocity in her rage.

The boy, momentarily confused asked, "Is that is a trick question?" The dangerous look on the prefect's face answered that one, and he hurried away, heading to the Hufflepuff common room.

James, seizing this opportunity, began to edge away as well. He quickly halted however when Lily whipped around. "Stop right there Potter." James could only nod. "You wanted me to give you the benefit of doubt?" she asked, crossing her arms and pacing in front of him. "I'll give you the benefit of doubt. Go on, tell me your story - you have a minute."

James nodded and opened his mouth to begin before closing it again. "Wait did that minute start when you said 'minute', or 'stop'?"

At the irritated look that adorned Lily's features he nodded hastily. "Alright, so here I was, walking down the hall," he moved two fingers through the air to indicate walking, "when I turned in this corridor because Sirius-"

"So is where you teletubbies hang out? In random hallways that you go skulk through?" Lily interrupted with considerable sarcasm.

"What?" asked James, now terribly confused.

"Never mind," said Lily, shaking her head. "Just continue."

"Alright, so I walking down the hall" -up came the fingers- "when I turned here in an effort to get to Gryffindor Tower faster than the crowd. But then I heard some yelling so I ran into this hallway" -he moved his fingers faster to indicate running-"when I saw three, mean, nasty Slytherins" -he brought up three fingers from his left hand-"who were pointing wands at the poor, innocent second year." James tried to move his pinky into position and spent a minute adjusting his 'pinky-second-year', before moving on. Lily had taken to tapping her foot incessantly and drumming her fingers against her arm in an effort to stop herself from interrupting. "So I charged in and cried 'STOP!' because, well you know me Lil, always helping others in time of need out of the goodness of my heart,"-Lily rolled her eyes in disbelief-"and then the Slytherins said 'Make me' so then I HAD to make them so I pulled out my wand and went 'Boom! Boom! Boom!' and they went 'Bam! Bam! Bam!' and then the mean, nasty Slytherins, who are very mean and nasty by the way, ran away because they were scared of me and my awesome powers. Then you came in, whizzing around the corner" -he held up another finger to indicate Lily's involvement, at the same time making airplane noises to indicate Lily's movement-"and went 'Cahplooey! Blah blah blah' and the second year cried 'COCK!' and then you went 'Cahplooey! Blah blah blah' some more, and here we are now." James finished this monologue short of breath, hands waving wildly, and looked up hopefully at Lily.

Lily looked at him. James fidgeted nervously. Lily looked at him, then towards the hallway where the second year had disappeared, and then she looked at James again, and attempted to speak calmly. "So, you and your teletubbies were walking down a corridor. You got mysteriously separated when you turned down a different hallway than they did, again, mysteriously. You then heard screams, followed them, and just _happened _to stumble upon a poor second year who needed rescuing from the Slytherins?"

"Hmmm, that sounds about right, but really, Lils, what are teletubbies?"

Lily looked at him in disbelief, and deliberately disregarding his question, she looked up at him, her eyes hellish spitfire. "You expect me to believe this? This…this completely _un_believable story?"

James looked at her. "Well, of course since it's the truth," he said, as sincerely as he could.

Lily looked at him another moment, before spinning around without another word, and stalking towards the Gryffindor common room, James following her. "Lily what's wrong? Evans, hold on, why are you leaving?"

Lily spun once more, and regarded him angrily "Why am I leaving Potter? Let's think about this for a while, why don't we? All right, we'll start at the beginning. You hexed a second year in a hallway, the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Secondly, you decided it would help to lie about it, and came up with a ludicrous story about you helping the second year escape from Slytherins out of the "goodness of your heart", note the air quotation marks. Now, Potter, it is close to ten o'clock, almost an hour since we left the feast. I am cold, I am sleepy, and I am mad. _At you_. Any questions?" Lily cut James off as he opened his mouth. "And if you ask one damn question about teletubbies, I will castrate you, giving no regard to whether or not you are faulty and miniscule."

James shut his mouth, before opening it again, closing it, and opening it, doing an uncanny imitation of a beached whale. Lily looked at him in disgust for one more minute, then spun once more (she seemed to be doing a bit much of that) and strode towards the common room. James followed her once again. "But Evans, I really was rescuing Johnny!" James cried, now half angry as well.

"Who?"

"Johnny, the second year, I think I tutored him for a while last year…"

"James, the day you tutor someone, or the day you do anything out of the "goodness of your heart" is the day I go out with you," Lily said, pleased with her response.

Her snappy answer had the opposite effect she had expected, however, and James looked up brightly. "You mean you'll go out with me today…er tonight?" he cried eagerly.

Lily looked at him, and realized that they were standing at the Fat Lady's Portrait. "Aureous leo," she said, before crossing the threshhold, and walking across the common room to the girls' dormitories.

James followed her. "Lily, really, I was telling the truth!"

"Potter, when have you ever told the truth?" Lily asked, paying no attention to the crowd around them, or Carina's quick exit through the portrait hole.

"Relax Lily, and Jamesy-boy! I was wondering where you went, why did you disappear like that, Remus was really worried." Sirius bounded in, as if it weren't late at night, and they didn't have classes the next day, exuding a happy bounciness that annoyed Lily to no end. "Were you snooooooging? Huh huh huh? Come on, you can tell Sirius, your buddy, your sweet, ol' pal! Now, since we've got that cleared up Remus, I've got dibs on being the best man! James and Lily kissing in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes looooooove, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! Which is, named Sirius by the way, I mean is there a better name in the world? Come on; let me have a show of hands-"

Lily's look of repulsion was profound as she thought of Potter and her getting married and having kids. "The day I go out with Potter is day I throw myself of a cold, godforsaken cliff in the middle of bloody nowhere to be eaten by a bunch of fire salamanders in a friggin' pit of boiling hot, body melting, toxic lava."

"So Lils, you got the hots for me, do you? Haha, you know, get it? Lava? Hots? Ha! Too funny…" James wiped away tears of laughter, grinning modestly at what he perceived to be his remarkably funny sense of humor.

Lily emitted a high pitched, window shattering, earth quaking, ear drum bursting, heart breaking shriek, before turning on her heel and leaving for the girls' dorms.

James watched her retreating backside and sighed softly before sinking into an armchair beside the one Remus was currently occupying, his nose already stuck in a book. Sirius flopped down on the couch opposite them, beside Peter.

"God Prongs - didn't know you were such a bad kisser!" Sirius quipped, oblivious to the tension James was obviously feeling, if his miserable expression was anything to go by.

"I'm NOT a bad kisser!" defended James at once. "Besides we didn't even kiss!"

Before Sirius could ask, what they were doing, Peter butted in. "You're right, James isn't a bad kisser."

All three turned in unison to look at him. "And how would you know this Peter?" asked Remus, looking in disbelief at his now blushing friend.

When Peter replied with a half-hearted shrug, Remus moved on to more relevant topics.

"What's wrong James?" asked Remus, looking concerned.

As James recounted his story, another story was being told…

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

**A/N:** _Hope you enjoyed that chapter but we must say that this abysmal lack of reviews is slightly discouraging. We would first like to thank the incredibly awesome people who do review this fic and we just want to let you guys know that you're greatly appreciated. However, two reviews for the last chapter weren't exactly satisfactory. We put a lot of time and effort into writing, editing, and re-editing these chapters to make them as good as possible. For example, this would be our fic if we just didn't care…_

James did not now y lily hated him. Why wouldn't she care about him.

When lily came around the coronor to see james standing their with his wand pointing at a little boy, she was very mad.

WHAT ARE _YOU _DOING JAMES POTTER!' Lily said.

James looked guilty. "Nothing. I didn't do nothing. Some slytherins was hexing this boy! U has 2 beleive me!

The boy gave a startled sqeak and ran of to his common room. Lily didn't believe James.

THE END

_You get the idea. That wasn't very fun for us to write and I'm sure quite aggravating for you guys to read. So I guess all we're trying to say is…please review! We'll post the fifth chapter as soon as possible provided we have the right motivation of course! Thanks for reading everyone. _

_Also, Moonlight Sapphire has written a one-shot titled '99 Ways to Annoy Lily Evans'. It's hilarious so please check it out!_

_Cheers!_

_**Caeruleus Libellus **_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**_: Thanks so much for all the reviews guys! Here is the fifth chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time**_. Please read and review. _

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter Five: Johnny the Cock Boy**

As soon as Carina had seen Lily and James step into the portrait hole, she had immediately hurried to make her way out. Lily was a volatile spitfire, and Carina hadn't wanted to get involved in this particular spat. It _was_ the first day after all…a girl deserved a break now and then. Nevertheless she couldn't help but smile as she overheard Sirius's joyful singing while slipping out and imagined Lily's increasingly angry – and revolted – face.

She would just take a quick walk around the castle, be back in time for the fight to be ending and run to support Lily and pretend she had been there the entire time. She would then try her hardest to stay awake as Lily ranted into the early hours of the morning, and, taking a look around at the slumbering girls, would plaintively ask, 'Guys…?' Lily would then look at the clock, and fly into a fury once more, raging about how James had kept her up all night and was responsible if she looked anything but perfect the next morning. She did need her beauty sleep after all…

Carina slipped towards the kitchens. It had been a full two hours since the feast ended - she might as well get some chocolate while she was out. She would even make it a point to bring some back for what would soon be a seriously pissed-off Lily. Ahh...how lucky Lily was to have friends like her...Carina conveniently cast from her mind that she had just moments before practically run from Lily during her "hour of need" - which was basically whenever Potter was involved. She had never quite understood why Lily seemed to exist in a constant shell of smoky denial.

Why didn't she just admit she had the hots for Potter, jump him, and _move on_? If Carina really thought about it, Lily hadn't truly given any outward sign of affection towards the bespectacled boy, but Carina knew it was just a matter of time. And if Carina was in a truly introspective mood she would also find that James had been influencing her substantially with his deranged ramblings of 'Lily Potter sounds nice doesn't it guys?' and 'Don't we look so cute together?' and 'Carina!!! Who was that boy who said 'hi' to Lily? Does she know him? Huh? Huh? Well he's ugly anyway and Lily doesn't like ugly guys does she? I mean if she can't go out with me then really, who can she go out with? And besides, what are his prospects? Is he half as smart as me? Or handsome, or charming, or positively dashing, snazzily dressing, completely adorable...' It was at this point that Carina would walk away shaking her head and wondering why, why oh why, did it have to be _her_ who had to constantly listen to both sides?

It was truly exhausting how much time she was required to spend in the battle zone, being an acquaintance of both parties. She should have earned the friggin' Nobel Peace Prize by now, the International Peace Prize, the Joliot-Curie Golden Medal of Peace...well, she didn't know anymore, but the point remained that she deserved a shiny plaque or medal. Keeping the peace between Lily Evans and James Potter was truly a task for which she should have been commended long ago.

Who deserved it more than she? Sirius stirred up trouble, Remus stopped briefly to make a remark before resuming his reading, Peter stood there like a bump on a log, a particularly stupid one at that, and when Sierra wasn't helping her sedate Lily, she was helpfully, oh so helpfully, inserting pointed remarks which did nothing to pacify Lily, but which everyone laughed at anyways.

Did they have no minds of their own? Must they all follow the script they adhered to annoyingly faithfully every time an 'argument/love fest/orgy' (so the last one wasn't entirely true, but it was bound to happen someday), broke out? Couldn't Peter, for once not stand there, like a particularly hairy wart on a sedentary toad? Why didn't he throw himself between Lily and James? What sort of a friend was he? I mean, Lily's scratches wouldn't have caused _too_ much pain, and the infections that would be sure to follow would easily be cured with two months of bed rest in the hospital wing, and multiple rounds of a veritable variety of noxious "healing" potions.

Carina's ramblings had led her to a place of the castle that she wasn't completely familiar with. Turning once, she blinked rapidly trying to figure out where she was. It was with a sigh of relief that she realized she was in a corridor just off the Great Hall that led to the Hufflepuff common rooms.

Shaking her head once, she began to move towards the kitchens, only to be stopped by a slightly timid voice coming from her left.

"Uh…you-you're friends with James Potter, aren't you?"

Carina swiveled, hand firmly grasping her wand, until the words sank into her clouded mind. It was then she focused enough to see a timid second year looking at her with blatant curiosity and the slightest hint of fear as his eyes widened slightly at her wand.

Relaxing slightly, but still wary, Carina nodded. "Aren't you supposed to be in you common room by now? You're lucky I'm not a prefect."

"Aren't you supposed to be in your common room too?" the boy shot back instantly.

Carina grinned slightly, relaxing a bit further. "I should be," she conceded, "but who needs to know I was out in the first place? Let's just say this is our little secret." She winked once and started to make her way towards the Great Hall when his voice stopped her once more.

"He didn't hex me, you know."

Carina instantly turned back around, greenish grey eyes widening in surprise.

"He was actually telling the truth. In a rambling fashion," the second-year paused for a moment, remembering James's colorful explanation, "but he really was telling the truth."

"What?"

The boy's eyes widened. "I thought you knew!"

"Knew what?" Carina was becoming increasingly annoyed with this midget's obstructing presence and lack of explanation.

"Didn't you hear the screaming? I would have though the entire castle would have heard it by now…."

"What screaming?" Carina then paused for a moment, comprehension dawning in her eyes. "You mean James and Lily?"

"No! I meant Happy the Clown and jolly ol' Santa Claus."

Far from being offended by the kid's sardonic tone, Carina began to laugh and at the boy's puzzled look said, "Lily and James screaming is hardly news anymore. In fact, it's practically a tradition."

"Have you made it your mission in life to be slow?" the boy asked impatiently.

Carina immediately bristled, remembering Sirius's taunts from the train ride that seemed so long ago.

The second-year continued on, completely ignoring her reaction. "Haven't you heard? Why the entire castle has heard by now. I'm quite the celebrity you see," here he puffed his chest out importantly before grandly proclaiming, "I'll have signed pictures available at lunch tomorrow."

"Heard about what?" Carina asked, trying to get over the fact that Hufflepuff house had another Gilderoy Lockhart in the making.

The boy sighed. "I, Jonathan Alexander Percival Edward Christopher Andrew Tristan Murray the fifteenth - Johnny for short," he added, noticing Carina's appalled expression, "am the sole instigator of the first battle of the ongoing duel that is currently in place between James Something Potter and Lily Something Else Altogether Evans." More puffing of chest ensued.

Carina's jaw was somewhere in the vicinity of her knees. "There were FOURTEEN other people in your family named that before you?"

The boy sighed again. "You sure you're a sixth year? What I'm trying to say is, before Lily blows up the entire castle, could you please inform her that James didn't hex me? Some Slytherins really did attack me and James stepped in and stood up for me. Not that I needed it – I was two steps away from kicking their buts and they knew it."

"James didn't hex you?"

"YES. James Potter did, in no circumstance, hex me, Jonathan Alexander Per-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Carina cut in, not wanting to hear his entire name again. "You sure he didn't hex you?" she asked once more, wanting to make absolutely sure.

"No, of course he did. I'm lying - a cuckoo pathological liar, that's me," the boy responded sarcastically, his face twisted into a sneer.

"Well sor-ry for asking," returned Carina, with a huffy sigh of her own.

If what the boy was telling her was true, she had to get back immediately to let Lily know. Telling Lily Evans she was wrong, wasn't always the best move for one's mortality, but Carina was oddly relishing the task ahead.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

"WHAT?!"

"It's true Lils, really," Carina said earnestly. "Jonathan Alexander Percival Edward Christopher Andrew Tristan Murray the fifteenth - Johnny for short - told me so!"

Lily's brow creased in confusion. "Who told you this again?"

"Jonathan Alexander Percival Edward Christopher Andrew Tristan Murray the fifteenth, of course!" Carina explained. She could have sworn she hadn't been _this_ slow.

**Flashback**

Carina's jaw was somewhere in the vicinity of her knees. "There were FOURTEEN other people in your family named that before you?"

**End Flashback**

"Wait…" Lily's forehead smoothed over somewhat. "Cock Boy told you this!"

A muffled snort was heard, and when Carina and Lily both turned towards it, they found a rapidly turning red Sierra muffling her uproarious laughter in a pillow.

"What are you laughing at?" asked both Lily and Carina in unison. Couldn't she see that important matters were going on here? Lily was trying to come to terms with the fact that she was wrong, for Pete's sake, and Carina didn't take well to her sleuthing skills being insulted in any way, thank you very much.

"Johnny…the fifteenth…Cock Boy!" Sierra gasped in response, before convulsing into fits of laughter once more.

Carina's lips twitched and she avoided eye contact with a soon to be laughing Lily.

Laughter aside, Lily was feeling slightly guilty about the way she had treated Potter. Her stomach clenched uncomfortably as she remembered those hurt filled eyes, quickly masked over, as Potter tried in vain to defend himself. So it had been true. Potter really had been defending Jonathan whatshisface from the Slytherins. Lily tried not to think of his nobleness and of the fact that he had lied to her. Why hadn't he just told her he had been defending Johnny? Oh wait…he had. Never mind then. Another twisting clench later and she was feeling down right guilty.

Sierra, now over her laughing fit, was extremely observant and had been quick to notice Lily's change in demeanor. Raising her eyebrows slightly and giving Carina a meaningful look, she moved onto Lily's bed and said gently, "It's okay to feel guilty – maybe now you won't be so hasty to jump to conclusions. And now you can apologize-"

"Apologize?!" cried Lily, clearly startled.

"You have to apologize, Lil…" reminded Carina softly.

"Yeah, about that…" Lily immediately deflated again, and began to look worried. "What if he makes fun of me? What if he holds this over my head for all of eternity?"

"Despite contrary belief, James isn't truly that bad of a guy. Right Sierra?" asked Carina, looking over Lily's slightly bent head and locking gazes with Sierra.

Sierra hastened to assure Lily. "He isn't _that_ bad Lil, really. Bit obnoxious for my taste, but when he isn't making a fool of himself he can be quite kind. Selfless really."

Lily looked at her best friends in shock. When had the Invasion of the Body-Snatchers taken place? What were her friends _saying_?

But despite the fact that she really, really, _really_, didn't want to do this, Lily knew that she had too. Sighing deeply, she nodded once, and both her friends looked vastly relieved.

Alice Johnson, a truly nice girl who shared their dorm, called from beneath her covers, "Can we go to sleep yet?"

"Sorry Alice," called Lily. She thanked her friends, who were making their way to back to their respective beds, before turning off the light and settling down for the night, dreading the morning to come.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

"She loves me…" - a hot pink Speedo brief of Peter's flew by - "she loves me not" – Sirius's grungy sock- "she loves me"- Peter's Easter socks, with bunny ears attached – "she loves me not"- Remus's holly covered Christmas socks.

So this was what James Potter's life had been reduced to.

James looked forlornly at the bottom of the laundry hamper before sighing at the outcome, and standing up. Ever since the blow up in the common room – a blow up Sirius had made every attempt to make worse – that had resulted in Lily defiantly stalking away he had been feeling kind of…low. So low that he had resorted to playing the "she loves me/loves me not" game. Except the Marauder's dormitory didn't have much in the way of greenery – the fumes coming from the boys' socks would have killed the strongest of plants – and James had been forced to use the dirty laundry from their hamper instead.

When James turned around, he immediately came face to face with his friends who had formed a semi-circle around him and the hamper, apparently concerned about his mental well-being. Even the sight of the hot pink speedo crowning Peter's head couldn't elicit a laugh from this down-in-the-dumps marauder.

"You really need to find a bird, mate." This, coming from Sirius, wasn't much of a surprise. What was truly a surprise was when Remus nodded in agreement. Peter bobbed his head enthusiastically, not quite sure what was going on, but happy to comply. The pink speedo bobbed with him before flying off and hitting James square in the face.

Face impassive, James slowly reached up and snatched the repulsive garment off of his face and shot Peter a questioning look.

Peter, immediately defensive, said, "It was a birthday present from my mummy!"

James, still not speaking, quirked an eyebrow. Peter now rambling, his forehead shiny with perspiration, continued, "I mean what you say to your mummy when she hands you a present? She would have been crushed if I had been anything but happy!"

Sirius spoke up. "But why do you still _wear it_? I mean my mother once gave me an old dirty sock for my birthday but you don't see me wearing it."

Peter mumbled something incoherently.

"What Peter? Didn't quite catch that…"

"I was behind on my laundry okay?" he threw up his hands. "I mean, it was this or nothing."

All three made a face, inherently glad that Peter had made the right choice. A blow to mankind, but the right choice nonetheless.

"I mean, why wouldn't she believe me? I explained it clearly and everything!" James, stuffed hands in his pockets, and, remembering his none too clear rambling, began pacing the length of the room.

"Maybe you haven't given her much reason in the past to believe you mate," Remus pointed out gently.

"But I wouldn't hex a second year! He wasn't a Slytherin either!"

"Well if she doesn't believe you, it's time to find a new girl!" proclaimed Sirius robustly.

James looked at him like he was crazy. "A new girl! A _new girl_! I have spent five and a half years of my life chasing that one! I think I deserve her as compensation for all that time!"

Sirius looked taken back. "Five and a half _years_? Has it really been that long? Remus, I think Jamsie-poo has lost it." Ignoring James's look of indignation he continued. "One or two years might even be termed acceptable, three is crossing the line, and _five_ is just calling for admittance to the loony-bin. Obsessive much?"

"So what if I'm obsessed? The object of my affection – ok, fine, my obsession – thinks I'm capable of hexing a second year, damm it! Which brings us back to a very important point: why doesn't she believe me?!" A high pitched, wheedling tone entered James's deep voice.

Peter struggled to answer the question. "Well James," he started importantly, "I think it might be the fact…er, well you see, she probably…well, actually I don't know why she doesn't believe you…" Peter shrugged and tried not to notice James's face fall.

"But that's my point…_why_?"

Remus, unable to see his friend in such a state, tried to console him. "There's other fish in the sea James. Lily isn't everything. I'm sure you can find another, er, "bird" is it?" He looked questioningly at Sirius who nodded in confirmation.

"I suppose…" James was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Lily Evans, a girl he had practically placed on a pedestal, thought he was a good-for-nothing bastard basically.

James had single-handedly stood up to those Slytherin's bullying of an innocent second-year and Lily Evans had come by and thrown it all in his face. How was James supposed to feel now? Well, he was still smarting over the fact that she could have accused him of all those things. What gave her any right to jump to such hasty conclusions and not even give him a chance to explain?

James couldn't believe he was even contemplating this. And then a rebellious thought occurred to him that brought every happy-ever-after castle in the air he had constructed involving Lily crashing down about his ears. _What did he really like about Lily Evans?_ Sure she was pretty, but so were a lot of other girls. She was nice to everyone - everyone, excluding him that is. So exactly why was he wasting his time on her?

A deafening silence had descending in the room, all three marauders watching their friend closely as a pained expression crossed James's face, before turning into one of anger and steely determination.

"Um, you alright James?" asked Sirius tentatively, uncomfortable with the awkward silence that has taken over the room.

James straightened and even attempted a smile of sorts, although there was no happiness behind it. "I think I will be," he replied.

It was an odd feeling for James, but he suddenly felt lighter than he had in a long time. "I don't like her anymore," he announced, largely to the room.

Judging by the shocked looks on his friends' faces, he knew it had come as a bit of a surprise to them as well.

"Just like that?" asked Sirius incredulously. "I know I was joking around before about you finding another girl, but are you really sure about this James?"

Remus, equally concerned, added, "You can't just turn off your love for a person like a light switch James."

Hearing it said like that, even James has to admit it was a bit absurd. Although he would never say it aloud, the debacle that had carried on tonight had hurt him much more then he would have cared to admit. But in that moment, he knew that, although his feelings for Lily would never truly be dead, he was on his way to acceptance of the fact that he would never really have her.

James Potter was finally over Lily Evans.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N**_: Dun, dun, dun! _Now_ we've got ourselves a story. Well, the course of true love never did run smooth…What do you guys think? How does this bode for Lily and James's dysfunctional relationship (if you can call it that)? Will she apologize and make everything better again? Will James revert back to his adorable self? Will James even _accept_ her apology? Review and let us know!_

_Looking forward to answering your reviews,_

**_ Caeruleus Libellus _**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **_We beg you to forgive us for our ridiculously late updating, and stand behind the feeble defense of a load of homework. _

_In any case, we're posting it now, and don't we deserve something for our efforts? We'd like to reach fifty reviews by this next chapter, so…_

_Here's the sixth chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time**

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.**

**Chapter 6: "James to the Rescue!"**

The sun shone through the red brocade curtains, throwing long spears of light across the dorm room floor. However, since no one had opened their eyes yet, the golden display was somewhat pointless. The night, for Lily, at least, had been increasingly restless, as she was haunted by her mistake. She may have hated Potter, but she did have a conscience, after all. So, come morning, she planned to apologize with all due humility (as much as she could muster) and hope her pride was not damaged too much.

For Carina and Sierra, the night had been relatively peaceful; both had fallen asleep at once, having had no guilt to keep them awake. Both were to wake up within an hour or so, and run furiously through the room, as socks were thrust upon hands and shoes were to be found deep underneath beds. Although Lily knew if she didn't get up soon she would find herself late for her class - on the first day of school too - she couldn't get up for fear of knowing what she had to do.

Now many might wonder why Lily was making such a big fuss about apologizing. But if you wondered why, then you obviously didn't know Lily Evans well. One part of Lily, the prideful part, didn't want to concede the fact that she had made such a gross misjudgment and now had to apologize to Potter. Heavens knew how he would rub it in. There were certain parts of Lily that were so like James that many people noticed, yet chose not to comment for fear of setting off the hellish spitfire that was concealed under Lily's smiling exterior. The other part of Lily, the one who had a moral compass that pointed rigidly north, knew that she was the one who had made the folly, and therefore, she would have to be the one to take the steps to correct it - starting off with a heartfelt apology. But nobody had said it had to be so goddamn hard!

Having wasted enough time, and stalled enough to make her friends wonder if she was dead, Lily sighed heavily before making her way out of bed. As she walked, she dreaded the cocky look Potter would no doubt don upon her apology, and, dragging her feet, set the shower pressure to high.

James, too, had had a restless night - a night punctuated by heavy thought; thought of how exactly he had wasted so much time on one girl. He was also haunted by thoughts that he had never thought he would have, such as, what were Lily's attributes, her strengths, her weaknesses? Thus far, his never-ending love had been based entirely upon red hair and green eyes that sparkled when she was mad. It had not been based whatsoever upon Lily's mind, or her character, the fact being that James claimed that he had more than enough on his own...why would he need a female Remus around anyways?

Sirius had not had much of a 'night' at all, since he had been the one pulling their start of the year prank, which would be spoken of for years to come (not really, but Sirius liked to think that way). Remus, having been the brains behind the plot, had been forced to go along, while Peter tagged behind them, stumbling to keep up in the nightgown he had neglected to change out of. The three had planned to leave James out of the prank altogether, due to his new and somewhat foreign state of mind. James had been adamant, however, that even if the others might have been able to pull it off without him, it was mainly he who did the delicate, finely tuned magic. Sirius did the big stuff; James did the little, crucial details; Peter kept watch and was sent out as live bait, and Remus was the overseer. It was how things had always been done.

Because of this, James had gotten exactly three hours of the aforementioned restless sleep, before he was forced to awaken, and as a result of this, was grumpier than he otherwise might have been.

The events of this particular morning were, perhaps molded by James's reluctance to smile. Perhaps they were molded by the annoyingly cheery sunshine that persisted in shining throughout the great hall. Perhaps they were molded by the large bird that dropped a large package addressed to James into his porridge, splattering it over everyone in the near vicinity. No matter the reason, the morning did in fact happen, and it proved to be a pivotal point in the already turbulent relationship of a certain Mister Potter, and a someday to-be-Potter, Miss Evans.

By the time Lily had made her way down to the Gryffindor common room, freshly showered and with her slightly damp red hair pulled back into a high ponytail, she had formulated a plan of sorts. She, flanked by Carina and Sierra for protection and courage, would make her way up to James, quickly apologize, and move as fast as possible out of the portrait hole so she could find a seat as far away as possible from where the Marauders were known to sit in the Great Hall.

Well, if anyone had even paid the slightest bit of attention in their years at Hogwarts, they would know that no encounter between Lily and James EVER went according to plan.

Now, Lily was sitting aimlessly in one of the couches, nervously biting her lips, and in the process, chewing off her carefully applied lip-gloss, waiting for the Marauders to make their entrance. Even Lily, however much she would refuse to accept it, knew that the Marauders always made an entrance - ALWAYS.

She sat there for another ten minutes, before deciding to interrupt her best friends' conversation about the Quidditch teams who was probably going to win the championship this year (who cared about Quidditch anyway? Lily couldn't help but wonder. It involved people flying around on broomsticks chasing balls. Half the sluts in the castle did that anyway - without the broomstick...). Lily winced at her crude line of thought and tried to take deep, cleansing breaths so that she would be in a somewhat calm state of mind when she encountered Potter.

"What's taking him so long?" Lily grumbled loudly, "I want to apologize!" Now the whole common room looked up. Lily rarely apologized; she had far too much pride to apologize. Why would she if she was barely ever wrong? A cricket chirping silence pervaded the room, as the one and only Sirius Black stepped off of the staircase, and into the common room. Following him came Peter, Remus, and, finally, James.

Lily cringed in expectation as James eyes slowly swept over the common room; they rested on her for one moment. In that moment however, Lily felt her breath hitch for reasons she couldn't quite fathom. Lily had seen James in many moods, but the cold anger he seemed to exude today was a first – a first that gave Lily good reason to be terrified.

James's eyes were cold and hard, devoid of any emotion, and his jaw tightened as he caught sight of Lily. Lily, in that one moment, forgot she was ever going to apologize, and stared, unnerved that James could look like that - look at _her_ like that. As she watched, James smirked cruelly, before turning to Sirius and whispering something. Sirius promptly started laughing, and the four evacuated the room, Lily's apology having gone on forgotten.

Carina, unnerved by James's unusually cold countenance, poked Lily hard in the ribs, and hissed, "You were supposed to apologize!" Lily started, and, with Carina and Sierra tailing her, ran to catch up.

"Potter! James! Hold on!" Lily walked to up to them, and said to James, "Potter, I need to talk to you."

"Do my ears deceive me? Does Lily Evans, _The_ Lily Evans, actually feel the need to consort with the lowly predator of helpless second years?" James gasped in mock shock.

Lily winced. "Actually, that is, incidentally, what I wanted to talk to you about."

"_Re-ally_? I thought maybe you wanted to talk about the weather, a friendly chat between two people the best of friends," James said sarcastically.

Lily glared at him. "Do you remember last night?" she questioned, half hoping he would say 'no' so that she could say 'never mind then' and leave.

"Which part, Evans, which part? The part where you wrongfully accused me, the part where you yelled at me before and after wrongly accusing me, or the part where you stalked off after wrongfully accusing and yelling at me? You have to be specific."

"That thing… yea, that one…" Lily replied, willing herself to stay calm in the face of her smirking adversary.

"What thing?" James boomed, unrelenting. "You have to be specific - avoids confusion and misunderstandings you see." The last bit was uttered contemptuously as he gave Lily pointed looks. James didn't quite know how Lily had found out the truth, and by this point, didn't care in the slightest.

By now, Lily had had enough of his cumbersome attitude. She clenched her teeth tightly, determined to get through this apology so that she could move on, put this whole episode behind her, and eat her breakfast in peace.

"That one." she repeated, refusing to give in to his asinine antics. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry-"

"What was that Evans?" asked James in mock horror, holding one hand up to his ear as if he was hard of hearing. "Mind repeating that? Didn't quite hear you..."

Lily snarled. "I said _sorry_," she repeated with great difficulty.

"Ok." James shrugged and began making his way down the hall.

Lily, floored at his immediate response, hurried after him. After she had made such a damn effort to apologize, she needed a proper acceptance for compensation. Was that unreasonable, or too much to ask? Lily certainly didn't think so.

"What do you mean 'ok'?" she demanded, having finally caught up to him.

"Just what I said," replied James, "o…k…". He stretched the word out as if she was a person who had been dropped one too many times on the head as a child.

"But-but-"

"Yes...?"

"You..." Lily floundered for sufficient words to express the fountain of outrage that was boiling within her.

"You know Lils," remarked James conversationally, his voice loosing none of its coldness, "when communicating, you should really try for clarity. You'll find that it makes this go by a lot faster, and easier, too."

Lily flushed, temper taking over. "Clarity?" she all but screamed. He didn't even flinch. "Maybe, if you really treasured clarity that much, you would have been clearer about what had happened with Cock Boy - I mean Johnny - last night rather than jumping around like a stark, raving mad lunatic!" Lily, who was on a bit of roll now, couldn't seem to stop. "I got separated and then, magically, out of nowhere, Slytherins appeared and attacked the poor boy. I"- here she puffed out her chest - "the brilliantly amazing James Potter jumped valiantly in front of him and saved the goddamn world! James to the rescue," Lily shrieked, one hand thrust before her as she ran around her friends, looking very much like a person escaped from the loony bin.

Carina and Sierra, as well as the rest of the Marauders, watched her in amazed shock. Surely this was a hallucination brought on by lack of breakfast; surely Prefect Lily Evans wasn't running circles around them at astonishing speeds shrieking "James to the rescue"? What had the world come to?

James seemed to be the only one unperturbed. "Well, since I did rescue Johnny I appreciate the sentiment. Now you might want to check back into the mental ward before the nurse comes looking for you." And with that parting shot, James strode off down the hall, bringing Lily's deranged yelling to an abrupt stop, leaving her to wonder how her 'apology' had gone so horribly wrong.

Sirius looked at her with an emotion that bordered on sympathy for a moment, before following his friend. Remus and Peter did likewise, however, as he was passing, Lily saw in Remus's eyes something almost as deterring as what she had seen in James's: worry. Peter, in direct contrast to this, simply yawned and proclaimed to everyone in the vicinity that his 'stomach would surely fall out' if he didn't get his 'brekkie' soon.

Lily looked at her friends. "What just happened?"

Carina looked at her wordlessly, as did Sierra; neither had ever seen James in such a mood as the puzzling one he was in at the moment. They stared after the quartet, flabbergasted at James's sudden change of behavior; both knew James quite well, and although they knew James could be insensitive, and immature at times, (it came with being a staunch member of the male species), this was just downright cruel. James had never treated Lily this way. He may have treated the occasional Slytherin like that, but for him to turn on Lily like this was previously unheard off.

However, as Carina looked at Lily helplessly, a more worrying thought came to her mind. "Lily, what, exactly, was _that _just there?"

Lily looked at her, perplexed, "What?"

Sierra came up behind her, and pumping her fist enthusiastically, ran in a circle, crying "James to the rescue!" in theatrical whispers.

_I did not just do that_. Lily was in denial; could she have done this? Looking at Carina, Lily's fears were confirmed as she nodded. Lily's heart sank. Not only had she failed to properly apologize and elicit a proper acceptance speech, she had also lost it, running and yelling 'James to the rescue'. This was it. Lily had made up her mind. Lily Audrey Evans was never _ever_ going to apologize again. Obviously nothing good came of this 'apologizing' business.

Lily looked to Sierra and declared, "I shall never, ever, apologize again. Ever."

"Now, there's no need to do that..." Carina began.

"Just try not to put down the person your apologizing to," Sierra finished helpfully. Then she was off with the 'James to rescue routine'. Mirth sparkled in her dark blue eyes as she set off, her dark blond hair flying behind her.

Carina's lips quivered, threatening to let loose all of her pent up laughter.

"It's not funny!" Lily whined

"On the contrary, I think it is extremely funny...swinging down illicit substances in the dead of the night lately?" questioned Carina, greenish-gray eyes sparkling in an amusing manner. "Haven't seen you lose it this badly, since the end of the OWLS last year." Carina smirked as she recalled the amusing memory, "You were carted out on a stretcher screaming at the top of your lungs: 'I wanna fix my mistake! I haven't finished yet you losers!'"

Lily winced at the memory. "I was under a lot of stress at the time!"

"Obviously." Sierra came up behind her, and began her theatrical whispers once more, "Guys! I haven't finished yet, let me gooo baaaaaaack!! I think question two hundred and thirty-four, part b, on my Transfiguration exam, isn't correct!"

Carina picked it up. "And what did you get? A hundred on each exam," Carina looked at her friend in mock disgust.

"No," replied Lily sullenly. "It was a 98.98456 in Transfiguration...man, I hate that subject, I can't do it RIGHT!"

"Wow, a 98-point-blah-di-blah...now the world will truly end," quipped Sierra in mock horror.

"But, you see, my thought process is, that if it was rounded up, it would be a 99, which, rounded up, even further is, in fact, a 100…see, it all works out. And it stops me from feeling like such a total failure – I mean a _98_?"

Sierra gasped. "Oh god, what will happen now? How will she go on as a functioning member of society? Carina, Lily has received a 98! Soon she'll be running around the castle like a ninja,"-she gasped, eyes bulging-"_pranking people_!"

"Don't they have a special rehab centers for the nerdily insane that can't stand the sight of their own failure?"

By now, the girls had reached the Great Hall and Lily was feeling much better. "But...I'm not a failure, am I guys?" she cried, fake tears welling up in her superbly green eyes.

"Breakfast time!" caroled Carina. "Now I can have my 'brekkie' to prevent the 'falling out of my stomach'."

Carina and Sierra promptly dissolved into fits of laughter, as Lily sobered up immediately. "HE'S in there! Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no..."

"Grab a paper bag, stat! The patient is hyperventilating..."

"NOT FUNNY!"

Carina looked at her, "Wrong, darling, it's hilarious. It's all switched! Lily likes James, but he seems to want nothing to do with her. What's next?" she rubbed her hands gleefully. "An illegitimate twin? Who's married to Sirius's gay lover? I always suspected there was something wrong with that kid..."

"I don't like James! I never did, and I never will! Ever! Never _ever_! Ever _never_!" Lily cried, longing to get her point across, once and for all. By now, all three had taken their seats at the table and began reaching for the mounds of food laid out in a tantalizing array on the table.

"As long as we're being emphatic about it," commented James, as he reached for a bagel.

"You wish I was gay, don't you babe?" added Sirius. "Then your dreams won't be plagued by me all day...and all night," he whispered in her ear before immediately drawing back as Carina turned swiftly to retaliate in the form of great bodily harm.

Lily fell quiet after James's comment, not wanting to make a scene. It was then that she noticed the - decorations, shall we say? - that the Slytherins were sporting.

James, following her line of vision, smirked. "Noticed have you? Glad to have our handiwork appreciated."

"You call this 'handiwork'? And why haven't the teachers noticed yet?" exclaimed Lily, temper immediately flaring.

"Because, darling," he replied coldly, the previously affectionate term holding no such affection, "the supreme skills of us marauders are unsurpassed by all, and therefore we have put a timer upon the Slytherin table. Nobody will notice a thing until...5...4...3...2...1."

Cries broke out at the Slytherin table as many jumped up in horror, upending plates and filled-to-the-brim goblets. Snape's voice rose above all, "Why are we wearing such a disgusting color combination? Red and gold! I do NOT think Sirius is hot!" He shrieked, turning around to see the back of the ghastly robe. "I DON'T!" He punctuated this message with a series of childish and out of character, stomps. "DON'T! I DO NOT!"

"Don't worry, hon, you're not the only one who thinks I'm hot, and, with looks like these, who could blame you?" As if on cue, girls swooned left and right, falling onto each others shoulders at Sirius's wicked grin. Carina mimed puking at Sirius's words, as Sierra reached up to pull her fellow Beater down.

"Stop being a retard! I know it's hard, I know you are mentally unstable, but, with me, you'll always get an O for effort."

Sirius looked at her, "Uh huh, no." He stood up once more beside James, and smirked in the general direction of the Slytherin table.

If one followed his gaze, one would happen upon a scarlet and gold blur. The entire Slytherin table was wearing red and gold striped robes. Many of the aforesaid robes had stripes that moved in a swirly pattern, making them look like, moving, panicking barbershop poles. If one looked closer, one could read undying declarations of love for the Marauders embroidered on each robe - declarations that were, as Sirius had termed them, 'catchy'. Snape's in particular proclaimed, 'Sirius "Norse God" Black is THE hottest, most hot-hot creature to ever walk past me in his ever increasing, all encompassing, all consuming, expanding, irresistible hotness sigh'. Swirly asterisks gave a nice touch as they surrounded the word 'sigh'.

Sirius turned to Carina and winked. "Want one babe?" he asked motioning to Snape, who was now jumping up in down as if this would dislodge the 'catchy phrase'. "They're free...for you that is. Wear it and think of me," he sighed dramatically and bent over in fake swoon before abruptly straightening, "not that you don't already.."

"Black, I would rather rip off all my clothes and run around this Hall screaming war cries, clutching a tomahawk, then wear THAT!"

"Ooh," Sirius smirked, "can I watch?"

"ARGH!"

The teachers rushed out from behind the staff table resembling a well trained SWAT team. McGonagall's eyes immediately zoomed towards the Marauders who were now doubled over in laughter. Peter was wheezing for air, sounding very much like a beached whale. Peter didn't seem to be the only one laughing. As soon as the apparition had appeared, breakfast had been abandoned as everyone turned their attention the Slytherin table. Lucius, sporting a particularly garish robe proclaiming, 'I am warm for Peter's luscious form', was wearing a look of utter repulsion on his face as he tried to get rid of the robe. All his attempts seemed to be backfiring, as the robe, not keen on being discarded, had taken to choking him. Needless to say, his rapidly turning red face complimented his attire nicely.

Professor McGonagall, shrewd witch that she is, made a beeline for the Gryffindor table. "Now boys, I know we'll have a nice chat about the prank in detention, but would you mind telling me how to get rid of it, at ONCE." Although her tone had started out as being conversational, it was rapidly shifting to a 'do-not-mess-with-me-or-else' tone that everyone in the castle knew and loved.

James gasped. "Minnie, I always thought you were a stickler for fairness. You don't even know we did it, how can you assign detention? Innocent until proven guilty and all that…shame, shame," he finished before cramming his mouth with an orange peel. He immediately spit it out, tried to grin nonchalantly, as if he made it a practice to consume orange peels on a daily basis, before stuffing the actual fruit in his mouth.

Remus piped up. "You know Professor; he is right about the innocent against proven guilty bit. What evidence do you have to support your, frankly, unreasonable conclusion?"

"What evidence do you have Minnie?" Sirius reiterated. "Although the robes compliment us, it doesn't necessarily have to be our work. In fact, every girl in this castle is smitten by us, how do you know it wasn't one of them?"

"Not every girl," Carina piped up.

"You love me," replied Sirius, "You just have to take the time to adjust, babe, you'll find it becomes quite easy after a while."

"Do NOT call me babe! The name is Carina! Say it with me…Ca-ri-na!"

"Whatever babe," said Sirius, waving an airy hand in dismissal.

Lily nudged Sierra, motioning towards the bickering pair. She framed them with her fingers before outlining a heart. Sierra, catching on, tilted her head to one side, squinting her eyes as she contemplated the arguing couple. She could tell that Sirius was enjoying bantering with Carina immensely, and that Carina's eyes were bright and her face flushed a rosy red, as she argued with him. She could also see that her best friend was near laughter a couple of times, but managed to restrain it, a slight twitching of her lips giving any hint of humor away.

Sierra turned back to Lily, and as they looked at each other, they realized that Carina was never going to hear the end of it now. Both the girls turned back to regard the pair in time to see Carina swat Sirius on the shoulder and yell, "I am going to KILL you SIRIUS ARTEMIS BLACK!"

Sirius winced at the middle name but managed to reply, "As long as there is some satisfying form of torture beforehand, I'm good."

Carina narrowed her eyes.

Oh well, the mirage had been entertaining while it had lasted. Carina and Sirus just liked annoying the heck out of each other – they both knew how to push each other's buttons and excelled at doing it.

Professor McGonagall, quite like Lily is some ways, did not take well to being ignored. She was a stern witch that required the utmost respect of all her students _all the time_. She was becoming increasing angry as the Marauders continued a conversation around her.

"Mr. Potter, try to chew before you swallow, since I don't seem inclined to perform the Heimlich maneuver on you anytime soon. Mr. Black, show respect for your classmates by calling them by their given name, and Ms.Favreaux, try to refrain from death threats at breakfast - it really isn't a pleasant way to start the morning. Now, we shall ask an impartial member of the audience for their opinion on the matter," concluded the Professor, turning promptly towards Lily.

"Ms. Evans, do you think, given the spectacle surrounding us that the Marauders might in fact be behind this whole episode?"

Before Lily could reply, James butted in. "Why are you asking her? Ms. Evans has been known to jump to conclusions and dismiss the opinions of others if they do not match up with her pre-conceived notions."

Lily opened her mouth to retaliate, slightly hurt by his words. She _had _apologized…or tried to at least. Didn't effort count for anything anymore?

"There is no need to interrupt me or Ms. Evans so rudely, Mr. Potter," reprimanded McGonagall sternly. "Now Ms. Evans, do you believe the Marauders are behind this?"

"Well James, with his sterling record, couldn't possibly be behind this could he?" replied Lily sardonically. "I mean, he's quite well known around the castle for his heroic effort and good deeds…why would anyone suspect him?"

"I see," said Professor McGonagall, her sharp eyes moving from Lily to James, and back again. The friction between the two seemed abnormally high, and anyone could feel the tension between them. "Well detention it is," she announced, making a move to leave.

"But Lily said we didn't do it!" Peter cried, angered over the perceived injustice towards him.

McGonagall just gave him a Look. "Oh…so when she said James _didn't_ do it, she actually meant he _did_…I get it now." Peter nodded to himself, and sat back down, basking in the glow of his brilliance at having finally caught on.

"Just one more thing," added McGonagall, turning back to face the Marauders. "How exactly are we supposed to fix this mess?"

Sirius and James, never daunted by their ever increasing number of detentions, grinned widely. The best part was still to come.

Sirus stood once more, his hands placed at his hips. "Well Minnie-"

"I thought I've told you on a countless number of occasions NOT to call me that, Mr. Black."

Sirus plowed on. "It is time for the Marauder's Crash Course on Dating 101. We will take you through the crucial steps to make sure that we make your dating experience as stellar as ours, not that you can compare to us, but we like give our participants hope." Sirius winked cheesily. Needless to say, McGonagall was not amused.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Carina inquired.

"First is the daunting task of asking someone out, then the breathless wait to hear their reply, and finally, the crushing fall of rejection as it hits someone smack in the face, causing them to sink down into a bottomless pit of misery and despair." Sirius even managed to leak a tear or two in order to enhance his presentation.

"So let's get started today!" ended Sirus, extending a thumbs-up, as Remus, James, and Peter, grinned widely in anticipation behind him.

Sierra smiled as well. She had a feeling that this was going to be an amusing experience for all. Over on the other side of the room, Snape shrieked one more, "I DON'T!"

Sirius turned slowly to Snape. "Let's begin with _that_ one."

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N**: _Ooh! Our first cliffy! We hope you liked this chapter, since we had quite a bit of fun writing it. Please review! _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **_We were feeling a little guilty about the long wait between chapters five and six so we updated this chapter a lot sooner. Although we didn't really WANT to update so quickly given the total lack of reviews – we got exactly two (thanks Miko and Asho!). So this time when we say we want to pass the fifty review mark … we mean it. So please enjoy the seventh chapter of **Moments Lost in Time**. _

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter Seven: Lucy and Pottygoo**

"Let's begin with that one."

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

James paced for a moment, hands clasped behind his back. "The Marauders, not only provide entertainment in your lowly lives, we also educate. Since teaching," he nodded in the general direction of the staff table, "is a renowned art, we have come up with a plan to break the shells of the reclusive and let them fly free." Here, Peter obligingly jumped up for a second and spread his wildly flapping arms out to indicate wings.

Remus snickered softly, before continuing. "What we have come up with is so simple, it's ingenious." He now held the attention of the entire hall and grinned; he was particularly excited about this prank since he had come up with the best part - how to get the robes off. James, Sirius, and Peter had stood still after he had announced it, before identical wicked grins creased their faces.

"Well, to get the robes off, the Slytherin in question has to come up to the Marauder whose name is mentioned on the robe and ask them out. Then, after we give our reply, the robes will immediately fall off. Sounds easy enough, right?" Remus looked around at the Slytherins who were now, if it was possible, even more repulsed than before. Nevertheless they gathered around, keen on getting the garment off.

Everybody else in the Great Hall exchanged amused glances. This could potentially be the Marauder's best prank yet. The first years were watching enthralled, instinctively realizing that their years at Hogwarts were going to be a lot more interesting if these four were involved.

"No!" cried Snape. "I refuse to ask out the not-hot, non-Norse-god Black!" He stamped his foot once more, his greasy hair framing his sallow face.

Sirius turned to face him. "It's quite easy, really. All you have to say is, 'Sirius, I think you are the most hot-hot creature I have ever seen and resemble a Norse god perfectly. Will you do me the great honor of going out with me?' See, easy."

Snape shook his head vehemently. "Fine," said Sirius shrugging, "if you're _such _a big fan of mine that you refuse to take off the robe…"

Snape's face turned paler, more than it already was, as he replied. "I refuse to ask you out. No. Absolutely _not_. I mean, what would be in it for me?"

Sirius simply looked at him. "Consider it a privilege, to be given the honor of asking me out. I mean, some people have to ask Peter out."

"Yea!" an anonymous girl from the audience that surrounded them, pitched in, "come on, Snivellus, do you even know how lucky you are? I would _love_ to ask Sirius out, I mean, I would kill for a chance."

Sirius didn't even move his head. "I'm sure you would, hun. Now, _moving on_..."

Carina sighed; she was sick of Sirius and his antics. "Where the hell did self respect go, people? Pride? Where does Sirius get off being such a jerk? I mean, _come on_, he is such an arrogant, self absorbed, childish, immature loser!" Carina stood up on her chair to continue her rant, "Come on people, rise above the influence, it's not that hard! Sure he has gorgeous eyes, but where's the substance? When you're all old, and wrinkly; and you will be - so much make up will do nothing else - looks won't matter! Conversation, intellect, substance, what's _inside_ will matter!"

Anonymous girls stared at her in shock. Who cared what was inside? The bottom line was that Sirius was hot. Who cared about the rest?

Carina sighed. Obviously, her well-intentioned message had gotten her nowhere.

Sirius reached up on tiptoe. "Nice to know you think I have gorgeous eyes, and, nice try babe," Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her down.

Carina yanked her hand from his grasp and swiveled sharply. "Do NOT call me 'babe'! My name is Carina!"

"Whatever babe."

Carina sighed yet again. She could see a clear pattern emerging. Lily and Sierra refrained from grinning. Sirius and Carina had always gotten on each other's nerves but this year was proving to be much more interesting than the last few.

Sirius turned back to Snape. "Now what did you have to say to me?"

Snape, realizing he had absolutely no choice whatsoever, mumbled, "Will you go out with me?"

James, who had been content to observe their genius flourish, stepped in. "Didn't quite hear you there Snape, mind speaking up?"

Lily straightened with a start, realizing that he had said the exact same thing to her not so long ago. She was being treated like _Snape_ now? Lily didn't know what stick was firmly lodged up James's ass at the moment but if he didn't get it out soon, she would snap. And it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!" screamed Snape, aggravated beyond belief.

"Why of course not," replied Sirius, unperturbed. "Why would you think I, let alone anyone else, would?"

Snape didn't even bother to retaliate. The robes had thankfully fallen off and he went back to the Slytherin table, wondering how many potions he would have to make before he could get over this traumatic incident.

It seemed that Snape had opened a floodgate with his question. People begin yelling things out at the Marauders, pride shoved firmly aside, wanting to get the stupid robes off and finish their breakfast.

Remus held up his hands. "Now, now, let's form a line in front of the person you're supposed to ask out, in an orderly fashion. Single file, folks, single file."

Sirius leaned over and whispered in James's ear. "How is it that, even in total chaos, Remus can come up with a way to get things done in an 'orderly' fashion?" He grimaced in distaste at the word 'orderly'. 'Orderly' was a word no one would think to associate with the Marauders, besides for the obvious exception of Remus of course.

One Slytherin lurked back. Lucious Malfoy, would not, and could not, ask Peter Pettigrew out. It just wasn't done. But it seemed that Peter had a different idea.

"Now," he said, looking at the people lined up in front of him, "who will go first...? Lucy! Why don't you to the honors?"

Malfoy glowered - he did NOT take well to being called 'Lucy'. "Potty-goo, will you do me the honor of...escorting me...to the facility of Hogsmeade?"

Sierra snickered. "Feel pretty good about yourself don't you, Malfoy? Turned the entire village of Hogsmeade into your personal waste disposal, have you?"

'Lucy' stiffened, but, nevertheless, turned to look expectantly at Peter. "Well?"

Peter immediately flushed. "We don't, ahem, provide that service. Maybe you misunderstood what Sirius was trying to say...?"

Lily, Carina, and Sierra, immediately catching on, burst out into gales of laughter.

Malfoy shot a murderous look at them before turning back to 'Potty-goo'. "What do you mean, Potty-goo?"

"First of all, my name is 'Pettigrew' not 'Potty-goo'." Malfoy shot him a threatening glare causing Peter to stutter, "Or, you know, uh, whatever you want to call me. Anyway, we don't offer an," here his voice dropped to a scandalized whisper, "escort service."

Malfoy immediately jumped back as if he had been scalded. "No! No, that's not what I, no! Ugh," he shielded his eyes, almost as if he was trying to erase the rapidly forming mental images from his now-scarred-beyond-repair mind. When he could bear to go on, he muttered, "Seems like I'll have to break it down for the buffoon. Ok," he said, looking up once more, "Will. You. Go. Out. With. Me?"

"Where?" asked Peter joyously, glad to finally have the show on the road.

"What do you mean 'where'?"

"Well, you have to tell me where you want to go out so I can decide if I want to or not. Duh!"

Malfoy sighed in exasperation. "Do. You. Want. To. Go. To. Hogsmeade. With. Me?"

"Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, what is wrong with Hogsmeade?"

"Nothing, nothing, but, if I go out with you, I want it to be good! Hogsmeade is so … common. Do you have no desire for a special date with the one who's, to quote you, 'luscious form' you crave?"

"Fine, fine!" Malfoy yelled. "Let's go out for a romantic moonlit walk around the great lake, instead."

"Just a walk?"

"Fine! You know what? We'll have a walk to," here he batted his eyelashes, "'get to know each other' and then we'll have a candlelit dinner on a boat gliding gently on the Great Lake. Happy?"

"Will the lake be strewn with rose petals? I love roses!"

"Sure, roses and friggin' pansies too!"

Peter brought up his hands to his ears. "I will not tolerate vulgarity on my date. Besides, I don't like pansies, they make me sniffle."

"Daisies?"

"Ooh, I like those!" Peter cried, clapping his hands gaily.

"Does that mean you'll come?" Lucius couldn't have cared less what the answer was; he just needed an answer for the robe to fall off.

"Just one last question...when?"

Malfoy sighed; why, oh why did it have to be Potty-goo? "Will. You. Go. Out. With. Me. For. A. Romantic. Candlelit. Dinner. On. The. Lake. -"

"-strewn with rose and daisy petals, without any stems or leaves. And no pansies either. God they clash with my complexion!"

"-Tomorrow. Night?"

"I would love to," said Peter sincerely, "it's just I'm very busy tomorrow night. Maybe you'll have better luck next time."

The robes fell off of Malfoy immediately and he rushed off to dunk his head under a cold, gushing faucet; it would take years of therapy to get over this.

"He didn't even say good-bye!" wailed Peter. "Oh well," he shrugged, "who's next?"

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

When the Hall finally settled down, McGonagall could be seen, walking amongst the tables, handing out people's schedules. "Mr. Potter, I have come to-"

"Assign us detention-" James piped up.

"-two weeks, separately-" Sirius added.

"-25 points from Gryffindor-" Peter cried.

"-your detention slips will reach you tomorrow morning-" Remus said smartly.

"-and your schedules, as well. Make sure you're not late." McGonagall said this herself, fighting a smile as she handed them their schedules.

James smiled at her before accepting his new schedule. Sirius and James had finally given in to study - after Lily had reduced several girls to tears for whispering too loudly in her 'study-time', which was all the time come exam time. Unable to bear her frantic mutterings, and Remus's reproachful looks, they had finally managed to find, dust off, and crack open a book. But since they'd worked out a foolproof system, they didn't mind too much. Sirius asked James a question; if James got it right, Sirius tossed a Bertie Botts Bean into his mouth. If Sirius missed, he had to forfeit his right for a Bertie Botts Bean on his next turn. If, however, James got the question wrong, he had to accept a dare from Sirius, and vice versa.

If James got a question right, Lily got mad; if James got a question wrong, Lily would, inevitably get mad, when Sirius dared him to do something that would disturb the deathly silence of the common room before exams. Due to strategic positioning, if James or Sirius ever got a question wrong, or missed a Bean, Lily got mad. If, however, they did not study, and ran around laughing and having fun, Remus and Lily both got mad. Really, it had been a win/win situation; James and Sirius studied, and they got Lily mad at the same time. Especially after they had persuaded Remus and Peter to join them.

Due to his rigorous…studying…he had received very good marks. As a result, he was now in all OWL classes, except for divination, which he had dropped. Sirius, similarly, had dropped Divination and gotten excellent marks, so when their schedules were compared, they found themselves in all the same classes.

There had actually been a great deal of debate amongst the staff that year, as to where James and Sirius were to be put. Many felt they should be put in separate classrooms, however, the problem had arose that if a poor teacher ended up with both Sirius and James on the same day at different times, that teacher would have a marauder twice in one day. This was like double jail time. So, it had been decided that Sirius and James would have exactly the same classes; Lily and her friends would just be put in the same classroom to keep them in line.

Lily looked up from her schedule, having not heard of this yet, and saw that Carina and Sierra had the same classes. Relieved, she got up and the three girls began to make their way out of the Great Hall.

The marauders finished their breakfast as well and made a move to catch up with the trio, James notably dragging his feet. When they had come within hearing distance of the girls, Sirius decided to speak up.

"So Carr," Sirius quipped, as the marauders fell in line with the girls, "what's your first class, babe?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask that tart standing over there what her class is? I'm sure she'd love to give you a free kiss as well."

"Why?" asked Sirius smirking. "Jealous?"

Carina swiveled sharply. "The day I get jealous of you, and the thousands of girls you go out with, will be the day pigs fly."

Sirius grinned again before pulling out a finely polished wand. 'Wingardium Leviosia' he whispered, flicking his wand. Peter flew up in the air, waving his arms in a windmill motion. Then, Sirius lowered him back down, gently (he had to spare his friends SOME pride). Then he turned back to Carina. "Not quite a pig but as close as I could get it. Now, mind telling me what your first class is?"

"Sirius, he's NOT a pig, he's not even close!"

"Ah, but Caaaarr," Sirius stressed the word, the simple one syllable turning into five. "I never said he was a pig! I just said he's the closest I could get on short notice!"

Peter looked up. "Yea, Sirius knows I'm not a pig, right Sirius?"

Sirius nodded. "Yea, Pete, whatever, sorry. Anyways, Peter and I always kid around like that, don't we Pete? I call him a pig and he calls me the most handsome person alive.

Carina grinned, her eyes twinkling. "Is that what all that noise is that I hear every night from your dorm?" She looked from Peter to Sirius and back again before brushing past them to catch up with Lily, Sierra, James and Remus who were up ahead.

Sirius stood for a moment before following her, Peter closely behind, "Why? Listening at my door, Carina? Don't worry, I'm sure someday...wait...never mind. So, what _is _your first class?"

Carina rolled her eyes, before replying somewhat reluctantly, "Herbology." She set off once more, catching up with Lily and Sierra, who had drawn ahead of James and Remus, fairly quickly.

"Hey, me too," Sirius refused to leave, and ignored Carina's attempts to shake him off, "and James, Remus, and Petey have the same class…hold on!" Sirius snatched her schedule, "We have all the same classes together!"

Carina groaned, and Lily turned around quickly "Hold on, what did you just say?"

James looked up. "Well, I'm fairly sure that he said we have the same classes as you three, but, what would the Fiend of Second Years know, right?"

Lily stiffened, before determinedly ignoring him. "Well?" she asked, addressing Sirius.

"Why Lils, I just said that we all have the same class first hour! And the rest of the day too! Except for Peter, who has to go away for a bit since he didn't get as many OWLS as the rest of us."

Lily, barely suppressing her dismay whispered in a strangled voice. "Are you telling me that the six of us have the _exact same classes at the **same time** for the rest of the **year**_?"

Sirius, apparently missing the problem grinned and cried, "Isn't it great?" He threw his arms around Carina who shrugged him off with a glare. He threw his arms around her again, "Aww, you know you love me, babe." Carina glared again.

"Uh huh, no, I do not 'love' someone with an IQ barely above three."

"You ain't foolin' no one," Sirius said gleefully, "I'm the same homey who got the same O.W.L.S. as you, baby doll!"

"You're not foolin' 'no one'?" Remus asked, laughter in his eyes.

"Yea!" Sirius cried, "it's muggle slang, my man, muggle slang."

"_American_ muggle slang," Lily quipped, smirking.

"And here my point is proven, Black. You have no common sense."

"I do too!"

"Right... so, the summer before fifth year when we were all at James's house, you put a plastic spoon in the microwave with the leftover lasagna because you were exercising your common sense?"

"I meant to do that! It was an experiment! I wanted to know whether or not it would melt."

"Well, then, why did you try to 'boil' an egg in the microwave the very next morning?"

"I was hungry, ok? And I was saving time too!"

James laughed and his face lit up. Lily tried not to notice that he looked extremely attractive when he laughed and suppressed the twinge of guilt she felt for whole 'Second Year Episode'. But then, he was being especially cold to her for the entire morning...and although Lily couldn't blame him, that was just plain mean!

"It's ok Sirius. I mean, it wasn't like, when the microwave BLEW UP mum didn't come running to put out the fire... It wasn't like the whole thing where you left the tap on, in more than one bathroom I might add, and managed to flood the entire third floor."

"Nope, nothing like that at all," replied Sirius cheerfully, flicking his black hair out of his eyes. "Duh, that was water and this was a fire," he rolled his eyes.

Carina snorted heavily, "Oh yes, which was completely different from the time you were playing Quidditch in the backyard and managed to down muggle fellytone lines for the next week?"

"Telephone," corrected Lily automatically, highly amused by this conversation.

"Exactly!" Sirius beamed in a Slughorn-esque manner, "That was in the air!"

Remus rolled his eyes, before opening the glass doors to the greenhouse, "I can see your common sense is much in evidence, Padfoot."

"Thanks Moony," said Sirius slightly tearfully. "You're a real friend."

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

Lily looked up from the stupor into which she had sunk at the mention of NEWTS. The moment they had come in, all the students had been introduced to Professor Germine, the new Herbology teacher, after which she had launched immediately into 'you know how important NEWTS are' lecture. She looked up just in time to see Sirius tip back in his chair and plunk his feet up on the table.

Professor Jemima Germine, the new teacher, looked up as the thump resounded through the glass house, "Are you bored, Mr. Black?"

"Why no, of course not, Jemmy...I can call you Jemmy, right?"

Germine's black eyes deepened, "No."

"How about…Jemima?"

"No."

"How about…J.G.?!"

Peter decided to join in, "J.G., J.G., J.G.!" Peter cried in high-pitched tones.

Remus looked up, before slowly inching his chair away from the laughing trio. Unfortunately, in his haste to move away from the maraudering idiots, he hadn't counted upon the friction caused when a shiny, clean floor rubbed against old wood. The chair let out a long screech as he moved, and Remus winced as Germine's eyes zeroed in on him. "Who, exactly, are you?"

"I am an innocent soul with no relation or knowledge of these people next to me."

"What?" Peter cried, in abject agony at this declaration, "five long years of friendship, Remy, five long years! Thrown out the window! Kicked out the door! Tossed in the towel! Lost the bottle cap! In Davy Jones's locker!" Peter had forgotten his point somewhere in the middle of his ramblings, but had been having too much fun to stop.

"Er…Petti-grew…is it?"

Peter nodded vigorously, his previous objections forgotten, "You got my name right!" Peter proceeded to stand up and do a victory dance, complete with pelvic thrusts and wild disco moves, "Uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!"

"Er…sit down, Mister Pettigrew." She scanned her seating chart; she was the new teacher this year. As such, everyone knew everything there was to know about her via the rumor mill, "Mr. Lupin claims he does not know you…now why might this be?"

"Moony likes his little joke, dontcha, Moony?" Peter jumped out of his chair again and ran to pull Remus back to the table at which they had been sitting, "Tell 'em Moony!"

"I really, _really_ do not know these people! Why, I didn't even know this bloke's name until you said it…Potti-grow, I believe?"

James smirked from the side, "It doesn't matter if Lupin knows, to quote him, 'Potti-grow', Germy. I think that in light of this discussion, we have all forgotten the true point."

"Exactly," Sirius cried, "the whole point was your new teacher/student affectionate term, Germy."

"Don't call me that, Mr. Black."

"Aww, come on, Minnie let's us call her Minnie!"

"She lets you?" Germine asked sardonically.

"Yes, she likes it, really, she does! She feels it's an affectionate term between a teacher and student. Quite like Germy!" Sirius ended on a high note, his voice cracking.

Carina sniggered, effectively bringing the attention to herself. "And you, Miss," another glance down at the seating chart, "Favreaux, why are you laughing?"

Carina abruptly stopped laughing and straightened up; her twitching lips gave away her lingering amusement. "Because…" Carina floundered for words, "I find this exchange between teacher and students quite amusing…Germy."

At this, Carina swiveled and winked at Sirius who grinned back.

"For the last time, my students may call me Professor Germine, and nothing else," she finished ominously shooting Carina, Sirius, and James threatening looks.

Sirius, in true Sirius fashion, replied with an articulate, "Whatever, Germy." Carina immediately looked at the floor trying not to laugh. Sirius was a lot funnier when he was annoying somebody other that her.

"Detention, Mr. Black. You can meet me here tomorrow at five."

Sirius looked genuinely sorry. "I can't."

"And why not?" asked Germine, nostrils flaring at this blatant disregard for her orders.

"Because I have detention with Minnie for two weeks, starting tomorrow," explained Sirius calmly, quite enjoying the interesting shade that the Herbology teacher's face was turning. He turned to James and said, "By the way Prongs, I have one more detention than you, counting this one!" Sirius and James were competing to see who could get more detentions before graduation.

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I'll catch up before the end of this day."

Professor Germine didn't take to being ignored – she was quite like Lily in some respects – and quickly called Sirius's attention back to her. "Fine, I will notify you at a later date when your detention will take place."

"Ok," replied Sirius cheerfully, "it's a date!"

Germine's eyes narrowed before she resumed her lecture on the importance of NEWTS. This time she didn't bother to admonish Sirius when he tipped his chair back, his legs resting on the table, resuming his comfortable position.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

Through this entire conversation Lily had been alternating from being amused to being annoyed. She still wasn't over the spectacle of this morning starting with her whole apology gone wrong. Lily sighed. Sometimes, it just wasn't worth getting up in the morning.

As Professor Germine continued her lecture, Lily carefully ripped off a piece of parchment and wrote 'What were you thinking?' before folding it up and passing it to Carina.

'About what?' Carina scrawled back.

'"I find this exchange between teacher and students quite amusing, Germy!" Honestly.'

Carina grinned when she opened the note and quickly scribbled, 'It was fun! Try it sometime Lil, you'll find it endlessly amusing'.

This time, Carina passed the note to Sierra so that she could write something as well. Sierra smiled as she read the exchange and added, 'She obviously wasn't thinking, Lil. But you have to admit, they were funny!'

'Whatever.' Lily replied, rolling her eyes. 'Potter is an immature loser and his posse is quite like him.'

When Carina and Sierra read this, they exchanged a glance. Lily was obviously still annoyed about this morning's incident.

'I'm sure he'll snap out of this phase of his,' Carina wrote back, in an effort to reassure her friend.

'Who said I cared about his little 'phase' or about anything else for that matter?'

Carina and Sierra rolled their eyes. Lily was obviously firmly in denial. 'Well, Lils, the fact that you acknowledged that he was in a phase…'

Lily grimaced, before replying 'I may not like him, but I, at least, notice the obvious.'

Carina raised her eyebrows, before deliberately throwing the parchment behind her, where she knew Sirius would catch it and read it. She smirked as Lily lunged for the parchment, unable to catch it in time

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

James looked up, entirely unamused at having been startled from his thoughts by his sniggering best friend. Sirius shook, the table vibrating under his feet.

"Well?" James looked at his friend expectantly, wondering what exactly he was laughing about now. Admittedly, the whole 'Germy Episode' had been fairly funny, if not for the fact that Lily Evans had persisted in biting her nails the whole time. How had he failed to notice this disgusting habit prior to this date? It was horrible! Did she eat nothing else? And, besides that, what was with her hair? I mean, really carrot-y color aside; her incessant twirling was enough to drive anyone bonkers! Wasn't chewing her nails enough? Was she going to resort to chewing strands of her hair next? Really; first her nails, now her hair, what next? James found himself fearing for her unborn children.

And if that hadn't been annoying enough, what was with her attitude? Primness and propriety could carry one only so far! It was as though someone had stuck dung under her nose, all the time. What was with the superiority complex? Would it kill her to make it less obvious and consort with those beings 'beneath her'?

James was shaken from his thoughts by Sirius, who, disgruntled at being ignored, had taken to waving a crumpled bit of parchment furiously in James's face. "What?" Granted, it wasn't the best response James could have given, but Sirius was satisfied.

"James," he said in an annoying singsong, 'I know something you don't know' voice, "look at what Carina just chucked at me!"

James looked at him, and then down at the parchment expressionlessly, "Is it a life threatening device?"

"No…"

"She's _obviously_ losing her touch."

Sirius scowled, his point having been thwarted by meaningless squabble. "Read it."

James looked up once more, "And why, exactly, would I do that?"

"Because, Lily wrote in it too…" Sirius had somehow maintained his singsong voice, and James snatched the paper in exasperation.

"I don't care about Lily, but fine."

Sirius looked on eagerly as James looked over the note, and was disappointed at his reaction. Sirius, who had been anticipating lit up eyes, and inspiration for a prank, had, instead, received nothing. James looked over the note once more, before giving it back to Sirius, "So?"

It was at this moment that Sirius realized the full magnitude of James's late night decision. He had not thought, in any of his wildest imaginings, that James would so abruptly change, and as the class erupted into activity, retrieving dragon hide gloves from their bags, Sirius sat, dumbstruck. James had, in less than 24 hours, gotten over Lily, forgotten about her, and had progressed to despising her. Lily had often told James that he was in a severe need of a reality check but such an abrupt change was probably not what she had been referring to.

The fact that Sirius didn't bother to crack another Germy joke for the rest of the hour betrayed the magnitude of his thoughts. A war between Gryffindor's most talented people had begun.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N**: _Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please do _**REVIEW**_ to tell us what you liked. It will only help the future chapters and also help us update much, much sooner. Thanks!_

_Ciao, darlings!_

_**Caeruleus Libellus **_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** _Thanks so much for the reviews you guys and we are really sorry that this took longer than we had anticipated. Now with the end of the school year coming up and finals on the way we probably will not be posting till the beginning of the summer. But don't worry, once the summer starts we hope to post more frequently. _

_Please enjoy the eighth chapter of __**Moments Lost in Time**_

**O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter 8: Snaps!**

How was it possible that she had James Potter, who, by the way, was still acting like she had murdered a hundred children in front of him, and the rest of his friends in ALL of her classes? The staff just lived for this didn't they?

Lily stomped down the hallways, a permanent scowl on her face. She had just been to the Owlery to write to her parents about her first day of classes. No doubt her mother would spend a good few days laughing over Lily's plight. Why couldn't she have a mom who sympathized and sent her barrels of food items made of chocolate? And her mother just didn't _understand_! She thought their 'little spats' were 'cute' resembling somebody pulling her hair in the second grade because they liked her. It wasn't 'cute' in the second grade and it sure as hell wasn't 'cute' now.

Who did Potter think he was anyway? He walked around with a decidedly superior air as if he was doing the entire castle a favor by just being there. And what had happened in the Great Hall this morning with their annual start-of-term prank? Honestly the Marauders treated it like it was practically a tradition. Well guess what? Waking up in the middle of the night to creep down and check if Santa Claus had arrived yet, since you were four was a tradition. Having an annual family reunion at a different person's house each year was a tradition. Going out on rainy days to find the elusive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow could be tradition. But pulling juvenile pranks that targeted a certain part of the school for the endless amusement of the prankers was definitely NOT a tradition. Admittedly the prank had made her laugh for a while but in the end, it was just another attempt to boost the already sky-high egos of the Marauders.

Stomping towards the Gryffindor Common Room, she grumbled incoherently under her breath, barking the password to the Fat Lady, having worked up quite a temper. It truly wasn't fair that the marauders got away with everything. Sure they had received detention, but did their punishment really fit the crime? All those pranks, in five long years, had never merited more than one week of detention, which was only when all of the pumpkins in the Great Hall had exploded. She felt that this was grossly unfair, and decided that when James was back to being her lovesick puppy (as she felt he should be) she would give him a piece of her mind.

She entered the common room, fully prepared to ward of a cacophony of apologies and a never-ending array of 'Will you go out with me?'s. She was surprised when, upon entering the common room, she was hit with, not a large number of apologies, but with a cold, condescending smirk, which shocked her, though she would never have admitted it. Matching his glare, she looked around for Sierra and Carina, who were laughing with Sirius and Peter, who were sitting with Remus and James, who were playing chess. This meant that Sierra and Carina were seated in the nearby vicinity of James Potter, who was, now, smirking at her unnoticed, obviously making fun of her own moral dilemma. Making up her mind, she headed resolutely towards her 'friends' and pulled out her homework.

"Hey," said Lily, plopping herself down at their table and laying out her notes and books. Not only had the teachers decided to lecture them about NEWTS in ALL of their classes, they had also decided that a few dozen homework assignments were not out of the question because, after all, they had a full two years to go before they took the dreaded examinations. And God knew how soon seven hundred and thirty days would fly by!

Still grumbling profusely, Lily started her homework only to be interrupted by Carina and Sierra's peals of laughter. Sirius was sitting beside them probably cracking jokes, and Lily could almost see Peter struggling to memorize them all so he could impress the ladies. James and Remus were still involved in their chess game, although James was glancing around the common room idly while Remus planned out his move. His eyes met hers for just a moment, but that moment was enough to display his deep disgust. Lily averted her eyes quickly. She didn't have time for a guilt trip at the moment.

"Don't you guys have homework?" she asked, turning to her best friends.

Before they could reply, James spoke up. "Here to suck the fun out of everything again, Evans?"

"Now James..." started Sierra, coming to her friend's defense, "there's no need to be mean. She was just asking a question."

"Excuse me?" asked Lily coldly, ignoring Sierra's words for the moment. "Did you just call me a fun-sucker?"

"No," replied James evenly. "'Fun-sucker' isn't a word, and I try to converse with people in English rather than making up words to supplement my vocabulary."

"So I presume 'cahplooey' is in the English dictionary now days?"

"Obviously," replied James, turning back to his game.

Lily's blood began to boil. James, noticing her furious expression smirked once more. "What's wrong Evans? No snappy retort that accuses people of things they quite obviously didn't do? Aren't you going pull out your pocket dictionary and prove me wrong?"

"No, because I don't need a dictionary to prove you wrong."

"Oh I'm sorry," replied James, in tones of mock apology, "I didn't know you'd memorized it."

Carina, Sierra, Peter, and Sirius had stopped talking a while ago and were intently regarding their friends. At James's latest remark, they couldn't help crack a smile. This did absolutely nothing to placate Lily.

"Think this is funny, do you?" she snapped at them.

"Well quite obviously they do, otherwise they wouldn't be smiling." James rolled his eyes as if Lily's stupidity was too much to bear.

Remus looked up as well, chess game long forgotten. This was rapidly getting out of hand and if it continued much longer, Lily would witness a side of James she had never seen before.

"Ooh, snaps for James!" cried Peter, snapping his chubby fingers to indicate that James had made a particularly scathing remark.

Lily turned and leveled an icy glare at him causing him to stop his ridiculous snapping at once. Then she turned back to James.

"Clever Potter, truly clever," Lily spat his name out as if it were the vilest poison. "How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

"As long as it takes you to do easy homework."

"Ooh, snaps for James … again!" James glared at Peter; he didn't appreciate attention being brought to his less than stellar remark. _As long as it took for her to do easy homework_? Not his brightest moment there.

"Oh, oh!" Lily brought her hand to her lips, "Master James isn't happy with his lowly minion."

"He's not my 'minion'."

"Amazing! 'He's not my minion', true genius, how _do _you come up with it? Or, should I say, who do you pay to come up with it?"

"He's not my minion," James repeated with some difficulty, glaring at the redhead.

"You know what, James?" Now she began pacing, bringing the attention of all in the common room to herself. "Why don't you just name your little posse 'James and the Teletubbies'?" Carina and Sierra snickered. "I mean, isn't the 'Marauders' a bit too… _equal_ for you? God knows how we detest equality!"

"Well, why don't you just name your own little group 'Lily and Flowers'?"

Peter stood up in excitement. "Flower Power: spreading joy and peace throughout the universe before bedtime!"

"Wow, you even got your minions to do party tricks!" Lily quipped, smirking.

James glared at Peter; he was rapidly losing the upper hand. If you had asked Lily, she would have claimed that James never had the upper hand in the first place - that she was just allowing him to warm up. James looked to Remus and Sirius for help, but both backed away, pulling Peter with them. Some friends they turned out to be.

"Enjoy them do you, Lils?" he drawled, covering his irritation with cold indifference. "I would ask what you thought of our prank, but then, on second thought, I have better things to do than listen to your obnoxious voice."

"Like what? Washing and finger-combing your hair?"

"Yup! You should try it sometime," advised James, casting a derisive and pointed look at Lily's flaming locks.

Lily's face burst into a riot of color. "You know what Potter? I actually will tell you what I thought of your pathetic little 'prank'-"

"-and I would love to hear your rant if I cared-"

"It was quite possibly the most pathetically juvenile prank I have ever witnessed in my entire life, and I have seen a LOT of them during my time here. I mean red and gold robes that compliment yourself and the rest of your posse? Original."

James didn't even bother to contradict her, mouth falling open in shock. That was quite possibly the funniest prank they had ever pulled. His mouth snapped shut and he gritted his teeth, as a muscle in his jaw began to twitch. An abrupt silence had fallen over the common room.

"And then, lo and behold, they have to ask you out so you can painfully reject them and lord it over them for years to come. What else is new? Contrary to popular belief Potter, the universe most definitely does _not _revolve around you and the sooner you accept this fact, the better off we'll all be." After this parting shot, Lily turned and began to make her way to the winding staircase that led to the girl's dorms.

"There she goes, running from the fights she starts…as always." James gave her an infuriating look, blatantly daring her to come back. "Where are you off to Evans? Hiding under your bed reading doesn't really help the cowardly image…"

Lily swiveled sharply, her face paler that usual. "Excuse me?" she asked; although Lily's voice was barely louder that a whisper, everybody heard the steeliness behind it. "This coming from a person who mercilessly hexes people half his size for his own amusement is slightly hypocritical, don't you think? When are you going to fight someone your own size Potter? Or are you too afraid?"

"Don't push it Evans," replied James, his words laced with fury. Nobody called James Potter a coward. _Nobody_.

Everybody stared at the pair dumbfounded. There stood Lily Evans, gloriously red hair framing her face as she leveled emerald eyes that were as icy as her demeanor at the equally furious boy who had practically worshipped the ground she had walked on days before. The muscle in James's jaw twitched continuously, as he visibly fought for control.

It was bit unrealistic. Several days ago he had been head over heels in love with this girl, or what he had perceived as love, and now all he felt was pure, unadulterated hatred. Life was a very funny thing. People had always said there was a thin line between love and hate and James was finding out how true they were. Love and hate were two volatile emotions and James was being pushed to a dangerous edge.

"Why? Afraid your fragile ego can't take it?"

James quirked an eyebrow, mildly surprised. "Is Prefect Lily Evans looking to start something? Have you checked your Holy Book of Rules yet? Or, have you memorized that as well?"

"You know Potter, the more you talk, the more I'm convinced that second years are all you can take on."

James growled softly. "I don't duel with _girls_, Evans."

"Don't, or can't?"

A collective 'oooooh' rose from the bystanders as they all stared at James for his reply. Sirius and Peter sniggered, although they looked slightly worried, mirroring Remus's expression. Sierra and Carina however couldn't wait for the fireworks to begin – they knew that Lily was more than capable of handling herself.

"Quite obviously 'don't'," replied James, showing no emotion, on the outside at least. "After all, wouldn't want to hurt you…besides, tickle charms really aren't my style. And I don't know how to conjure blinding 'fairy dust' either so…" He trailed off smirking at her. If there was going to be fight, he sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to start it. Now retaliating on the other hand…well, it was matter of self-defense.

Lily snarled in response to his remark that clearly indicated that all she could do were tickling charms and conjure fairy dust, and whipped out her wand. "_Tarantallegra_!" she cried, as a jet of light shot from her wand.

"_Protego_!" James cried in response, erecting a shield so strong that Lily's spell ricocheted off of it and hit an unsuspecting second year. The poor boy tap danced his way out of the portrait hole, wondering why he even got up in the morning. His surprised expression was the last thing James saw before the boy vanished from sight.

"Tap dancing Evans? Should I be scared? Next, you'll put me in a tutu. I'm positively shaking in my shoes now."

Sirius, milking this moment for all it was worth, cast the _Sonorus_ charm on himself, causing his voice to become magically magnified. Then he jumped up on top of a coffee table conveniently situated in the center of the common room and drew everybody's attention to himself immediately. "Welcome to the…Sirius Show! I'm your host for this evening Sirius Black!" The entire common room shot him disbelieving looks wondering if he had finally lost it. Sierra on the other hand could see immensely satisfying and embarrassing moments coming out of this and leaped up on the table as well. The two sixth years exchanged glances before Sirius announced, "And this is my co-host Sierra Carlyle!"

"Today's episode of the Sirius Show-" he was interrupted by a pointed 'ahem' from his co-host causing him to mutter- "and Sierra Show - but that's not the point…the point is that Lily and James are going at it like crazed bunnies in the heat and we all know how this will end!" He winked heartily at the assembled crowd and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily and James were standing at the edge of the crowd, that had assembled around Sirius and Sierra, gazing at their friends, dumbfounded. They exchanged repulsed looks with each other before simultaneously pointed their wands at the pair.

"_Langlock_!" they cried, surprisingly in unison. Sirius was two busy being blinded by his over-energetic eyebrows to notice this. Sierra on the other hand cast a shield charm and deflected her friends' spells grinning cheekily back.

"Sirius you might want attention to the people who are going at it like 'crazed bunnies'," remarked Sierra dryly.

Carina, Remus, and Peter grinned at their friends and settled back on the couches. No year had started off quite like this before.

"So," Sirius turned to motion towards Lily and James, "there stands Lames Evans and Jily Potter – I'm using different names so nobody knows it's them, saves embarrassment you see – who were madly in love with each other several days before but are now hexing each other within an inch of their lives. Hmm," Sirius stroked his chin in a contemplative manner, "craziness or kinky foreplay?"

James's mouth twitched suspiciously and he heard a muffled snort from 'Jily'. He almost grinned at her – almost.

Lily was taken aback when the light went out in James's eyes as he turned to regard her. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second before hardening once more. Silently they moved back into their dueling positions, daring each other to fire the first spell. A silence fell over the common room once more interrupted only by Sierra's delighted tones. "And they're at it again! Gather 'round folks! This is the best edition of the Sierra Show yet!"

Everybody ignored Sirius's cry of protest. "It's the Sirius Show!"

Lily grinned manically before sending a shrinking spell in James's direction. The tilt of her wand caused him to blank momentarily as he glanced down. He masked his sigh of relief by a short laugh that he hoped sounded nonchalant. He failed miserably, considering Lily's delighted look, as the spell missed its mark by a fraction of an inch, hitting a pile of books and causing them to shrink dramatically.

James covered his moment of weakness with amused expression. "You need to work on your aim Evans," he informed her coolly.

"On the contrary Potter, if I had chosen to aim better you would be in a decidedly … different position right now." Her gaze lingered pointedly on a specific part of his anatomy before traveling up the length of his body to his face. She shot him an icy glare that irritated him to no length.

"Ooh…" came Sirius gleeful voice, "Lilykins has issued a threat that challenges James's manliness. How _will_ he respond?"

James glared at his supposed best friend and shot of a spell of his own. He was done playing around. Lily Evans was going to regret the day she ever crossed James Potter. His theatrical thoughts were somewhat derailed when Lily cast a shield charm of her own without batting an eye.

James's spell had seemed to open a flood-gate of multicolored light. They shot hexes and jinxes at each other almost effortlessly as if they were just playing at it. And in a way, they were. They didn't exactly want to hurt each other, just show they _could_ if the time and place warranted it.

Lily was quite confused. Where was the puppy love sickness? Why did he persist with his…attitude? For God's sake, she HAD apologized. But no…Potter just couldn't accept the fact that she made mistakes…just not very many. Beating Potter at his own immature game had not been on the agenda, how much ever fun she was having doing it.

They shot spells at each other determinedly, not the least bit surprised if they all didn't make their mark. They both knew who they were dealing with…but they were both fooling themselves if they thought it wasn't frustrating how evenly matched they were. Spells rebounded off objects and hit random parts of the common room so that, by the time they actually started trying to best each other, charmed cushions were flying overhead and the younger Gryffindors had taken refuge behind multi-colored furniture.

For the next twenty minutes the only voices heard were Lily and James muttered spells and Sierra and Sirius as they persisted in giving the entire common room a play-by-play account of the action.

"James has finally decided to come out of the closet and dyed his hair to match!" cried Sirius as Lily turned James's mop of hair into a flaming fuchsia mohawk.

"Ok, he hasn't come out of the closet considering Lily's wet t-shirt," amended Sierra as a dripping Lily glared daggers at an innocently whistling James, as her clinging, lacy red camisole was put on display through her drenched white shirt.

"Looks like her Flowery Highness is thoroughly pissed off now…" James stood in his boxers defiantly, trying vainly to cover himself, while birds pecked at every available piece of flesh.

Sirius snickered and turned to Sierra whispering, "Definitely kinky foreplay…" She nodded in amusement, dark blue eyes crinkled with humor.

"Lily what have you done to your hair? Well, it matches your eyes at least…" commented Sirius, trying to backtrack if Lily's furious eyes were anything to go by. James had turned Lily's hair from auburn to neon green.

In retaliation, Lily cast a tickling charm and enjoyed a few moments of satisfaction as James wheezed for breath between his highly feminine giggles. "Find something funny Jamesie-poo?" asked Sierra sweetly, side-stepping her friend who was now rolling on the floor laughing in a demented fashion.

"_Densaugio_!"

"_Impedimenta_!"

"_Furnunculus_!"

"_Rictusempra_!"

"_Locomotor Mortis_!"

"ENOUGH!"

James and Lily jerked in shock and turned to face a fuming McGonagall. Sudden silence descended over the common room and heads popped out from behind furniture, marveling in the silence. Sirius and Sierra looked like all their birthdays had come at once gazing first at James's and Lily's shocked, and now sheepish, faces, and McGonagall's spectacularly red one. The tension settled slowly over the room and feathers from blasted cushions drifted lazily to the ground, as the fire crackled and popped merrily. As usual, Sirius decided to break the silence.

"Come to join the party, Minnie? Lovely costume you have there," he remarked, his critical eyes roving over her tartan nightgown and robe.

"Do you really keep your hair up even when you're sleeping?" asked Sierra curiously. She recoiled sharply when the transfiguration professor glared at her. "Uh, right…never mind then…"

"It is close to eleven o'clock and I want to know what is going on." McGonagall's words were said with some difficulty as she gazed at the wrecked common room. Why couldn't she be head of Ravenclaw? All she would have to do then is to break up study parties. But no, instead she had to deal with the biggest troublemakers in the castle.

"I would have thought that was quite obvious! James and Lily are trying to kill each other of course. Knew it would happen someday…" The professor glared at Sierra again before turning to face James and Lily. James, to his credit, was glaring back defiantly, while Lily looked like she wanted to disappear of the face of the earth.

"Well, you see professor, Evans and I are trying to resolve our irreconcilable differences," said James calmly.

"And hexing each other is the way to do that?" The teacher's eyes narrowed alarmingly causing Lily to back away slightly. James however, was unfazed.

"Obviously."

Lily quickly stepped forward again, hoping to rationally explain the situation rather than inflame it further. "Well you see Professor, things just…got out of control." McGonagall's eyes flicked from the broken coffee table to the couches which had stuffing sticking out of it.

"A _little_ out of control? It looks like wild jungle animals have been stampeding through here rather than two, rational sixteen year olds who claim to be sorting out their 'differences', Ms. Evans."

"Since when has Potter been a rational sixteen year old?" asked Lily, turning to glare at James as if this was all his fault and she had been forced to pick up her wand and hex him.

"Excuse me?" asked James in disbelieving tones. Last he'd heard _she_ had been the one to start this whole thing.

"Do you have something conducive to say, Mr. Potter?" asked McGonagall.

James bypassed the professor and turned to Lily, his eyes brimming with anger once more. "_I'm_ the irrational one? You're the one who started it!"

"Real mature James. 'She started it!' - we're not on the bloody playground anymore," snapped Lily.

"If we were, you'd be running off crying to your mommy by now," sneered James, enraged beyond belief. Lily Evans was the most infuriating, most irrational female in the entire castle! Why had he ever liked her? Oh yea, something to do with those cursed eyes and flaming hair. How deceiving appearances were turning out to be.

"Are you implying that I'm weak Potter?"

"I don't know, am I?"

Lily looked him over, and smirked slightly. "I'm sorry, you obviously _don't_ know. I'll try to not to use big boy words like 'implying' anymore, ok?"

Was she patronizing him? "Are you saying I'm stupid, Evans?"

"I don't know, am I?" she countered, quite pleased with herself.

"I don't know, are you?" returned James, in what he hoped was suave manner.

Lily looked at him in exasperation. "Potter, the village called. They want their idiot back."

"Ooh, snaps for Lily!" Carina and Remus cried in unison like a demented chorus, grinning as James turned to glower at them.

James turned back to Lily, feeling that he actually was quite smart this time. "See, Evans this where you fail: logic. See, if it was muggle village why would they want a wizard idiot? And if it was a magical village, would they really know how to work a fellytone? And, in either case, why would they _really_ want their idiot back?"

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really _is_ an idiot. James Potter, everybody, isn't he amazing?" cried Lily, making a sweeping motion towards a bewildered James. He had a feeling this wasn't working out the way he had originally planned.

Professor McGonagall had been staring in disbelief as her most promising sixth years traded insults like an old married couple. What had caused James Potter and Lily Evans to get on each other nerves so much that they had resorted to hexing each other? And now they were carrying on like she was invisible!

James sneered. "Think you're so bloody smart, don't you Evans?"

"Uh, yea," said Lily, nodding along. "That's the first smart thing you've said today."

"Evans, brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case, they're nothing."

"In your case," returned Lily, "they're non-existent."

"Ooh, snaps for Lily!" cried James, mocking the redhead and her less-than-spectacular comeback. "'In your case, they're non-existent' – how _do_ you come up with it?"

"Are you mocking me, Potter?" asked Lily, outraged that he was throwing her own words back at her. Her hand lingered over her wand as if waiting for an invisible signal.

"I don't know, am I?" asked James once again, knowing this would push her over the edge, and enjoying it immensely. And there was the signal.

With a low snarl, she whipped out her wand and cried, "_Densaugio_!"

"_Protego_!" cried James once more, bringing his own wand up to deflect her spell. "_Rictusempra_!"

Lily blocked his spell…and they were off.

"Ooh, it's starting again!" cried Sirius, joyfully. "What an emotional rollercoaster this night as been. With the ups and the downs, and ups again…"

"You know folks, this is getting a _little_ tedious…why don't they just accept their undying love for each other?" asked Sierra, before jumping aside as both her friends shot spells in her direction. "You know guys, not feeling the love here!"

Both James and Lily rolled their eyes at her before focusing on each other once more.

"SILENCE!" McGonagall yelled. This had no effect whatsoever as Lily and James continued on, ignoring her bellow.

"_Incarcerous_!_"_ said McGonagall, whipping out her own wand now. Ropes snapped out and circled the dueling duo, before tightening painfully and causing them to smack against each other. They went down with a painful grunt, and McGonagall gave a satisfied smile. Not the best way to break up a fight, but situation had warranted it.

"Let's just skip to the relevant parts, shall we?" she asked, circling the glowering pair. Everybody stood stock still, hanging on to her every word. "You both will serve detention together, starting tomorrow, every night for two weeks -"

"-Two weeks?" cried Lily in alarm. "These hooligans," she motioned in the general direction of the common room, "didn't even get two weeks of detention when they blew up every pumpkin in the Great Hall last year! They could have blinded somebody, Professor!"

"Can't stand two whole weeks of detention? Not gonna crack on us are you?"

Lily retaliated by pinching James's arm … hard. She wasn't particularly proud of the childish move, but with ropes binding them together, there wasn't much else to do.

James gasped. "Did you see that Professor?" he tried to wave his arm to display the prominent mark. "She almost took my arm off!"

"Stop exaggerating, you big baby," snapped Lily, impatiently.

"She should be locked up, Professor, she's obviously dangerous!"

"That's _it_!" Both James and Lily fell silent once more, gazing a bit fearfully at their teacher's expression. "I don't know why you both are acting like this, and nor do I want to. All I want is for you to stop _immediately_, before I have to take more drastic measures." She glared at both of them, drilling her eyes into them to get the message across. "If the both of you don't go up to bed this instant you will both be very, _very_ sorry. Am I understood?" She swept her angry eyes over both of them once more, daring them to contradict her.

"Um…Professor?" came Lily's timid voice, hardly believing what she was doing.

"Yes, Ms. Evans?" snapped the tired Professor a little more harshly then she should have. But they were disturbing her well-earned sleep for God's sake!

"How are we supposed to go to sleep with these ropes binding us together?"

McGonagall let loose a world weary sigh before setting them free and telling everybody to return to their dorm rooms immediately. The duel might have been over, but the fight between Lily and James had only just begun.

**O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N**: _Not sure if this was our best chapter, but it serves the purpose. Please review!_

_Au revoir!_

_**Caeruleus Libellus **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: What the Freak?**

The wind rustled in the trees, red and yellow leaves fluttering to the ground in lazy circles. Autumn had set in, and Halloween was fast approaching, with students looking forward to the Hogsmeade visit that was planned for the last weekend before Halloween. A few students, however, were far from cheery.

James had spent a couple days after the 'Incident', as he mentally referred to it, throwing himself into organizing Quidditch practices, and thinking up new strategies to be put to use this season. His detentions with Lily were carried out in stubborn and unpleasant silence as they spent hour after hour doing Filch's bidding, ranging from the standard trophy cleaning to the dreary organization of files for various teachers. Lily, for her part, had thrown herself with unprecedented ferocity into her schoolwork, and was spending a lot of time outside with Sierra and Carina while the weather was holding up. Both James and Lily refrained from mentioning the Incident to each other or anyone else, causing some people to believe that their spat had blown over. But the harsh coldness they exuded whenever they were near each other served as a sufficient reminder. They avoided each other like the plague, until they were forced together because of their detention, silently indifferent, but burning up inside at the injustice of it all. Why them? Why two weeks? Why Filch? The questions were un-answerable and their friends put up with quite a bit, as both Lily and James vented, annoyed at each other but too cautious to show it. For now, at least.

The mood of the Tuesday on which their final detention took place was melancholy, as the first truly cold drafts of the year had come upon them. More than one student had been administered a pepper-up potion by Madame Pomfrey Sr., and the fact that Lily had been one of them didn't improve her mood greatly. It was even more trying to see James walking everywhere, laughing boisterously, as if being sick was some sort of foreign myth. All in all, that Tuesday was not a good one, and the situation was not helped by James's meeting with Johnny just hours before his detention with our darling Lilykins.

James had been informed in no uncertain terms that he owed Johnny a favor, as he had been the one to bring the truth out in the open, however, since he, Johnny, was kind and magnanimous, James would not have to repay him. Their talk culminated in James being given a signed autograph to give Lily, with the advice to 'go get her tiger'. James wasn't pleased. He proceeded to inform Johnny that he didn't care if Lily fell off the ends of the earth (Johnny interrupted: 'The world doesn't have an end, James! It goes all the way around!), and that he was not going to go 'get her', tiger or otherwise. Johnny, slightly taken aback, went away, tickled pink to be on the frontlines of the continued Fight and went off to inform everybody in the vicinity that James was in denial.

Lily, for her part, was sniffling miserably down the hallway towards her detention, when she read the note on McGonagall's door; their detention was to take place in the dungeons. Lily's joy knew no bounds. Traipsing down, Lily was consumed in self-pity, when she came upon Johnny telling everyone that James was in denial about his apparent ardor for her. This was too much. Lily had been having a horrid day thus far, with her constant sniffles, cold weather, and somewhat horrible performance in Transfiguration. In Defense, the teacher had been struck with lightening, and in his burst of inspiration brought the divination teacher in for a lecture. The Divination teacher had determined that Lily would die at precisely 5:47 that evening.

Lily wasn't dead yet.

Germy had seen the need to bring in the Venomous Tentacula, so that the sixth years might be informed of its teething habits; apparently, venomous tentacula are attracted to all things shiny in this stage, and Lily's hair and bracelet were shiny enough. She had trudged down to the hospital wing, clutching fragments of her chewed off hair, lamenting about the state of society and its plants in general. She had not been having a good day, and to hear that James was in denial of his feelings for was the icing on the cake.

Johnny was greeted with bellows, screams, angry declarations and death threats before he was charmed silent, and was forced to go find someone willing to restore his vocal skills. When he had regained them, he had the nerve to saunter up to her and demand why she felt the need to yell at people so, and that a few nights of rest in the Hospital Wing might cure her of this nasty, and altogether unattractive, habit. He was charmed silent (again) before he could continue, and it took him quite a while to find somebody else to perform the countercharm.

By the time Lily made it down to the dungeons, she was far from happy.

"You are LATE!" Lily jumped in shock, as Filch thrust his face as close to her as possible, and proceeded to deafen her. "I do not tolerate latelyness Evans."

James was leaning against a wall, grinning in an infuriating manner as the bitter caretaker chewed her out.

"Mr. Filch, it is 7:02 right now," explained Lily, trying to reason with an altogether unreasonable man.

"Exactly!" he bellowed. "Evans, tell me what time your detention is _supposed_ to start?"

"Uh…seven o'clock?"

"Exactly!" he bellowed once more, feeling like he had made his point. "You are _two minutes late_." Spit was flying.

Lily began to grow angrier. Had she not been through enough today, let alone the past two weeks? On their first day, Filch had taken to outlining their two weeks with immense satisfaction, enjoying the looks on their faces as he took them step-by-step to the inner circles of hell. And now he was wasting a lot more than two minutes, yelling about her 'latelyness'. Lily refrained from pointing that 'latelyness' was not a word. James, however, had no problem in doing so.

"Ah, Mr. Filch …" he said, raising a finger lazily.

Filch turned, aggravated beyond belief at having his tirade interrupted. "WHAT?"

"'_Latelyness_'"-here James added air quotes for emphasis-"is not a word."

Lily stared at him in shock. Filch looked like he wanted decapitate something, preferably him. "Are you _trying_ to say something, Mr. Potter?"

Lily couldn't help herself. "I believe he just did."

Filch stared at the two of them in incredulously, his narrowed eyes swiveling from one to the other. "Excuse me?"

James spoke up this time. "She said that I had already said something, because you asked if I had, indeed, said something, after I said the something as to which you are now inquiring about."

"What?"

James shook his head in mock regret. "Argus, Argus, Argus, we really should try to keep up, shouldn't we? No matter, Evans and I will gladly run through the scenario for those of us who are a bit slow," –here he gave 'Argus' a pointed look-"again. Now, Lily had just walked in, all of two minutes late, where I, acting as you, yell in an unbecoming manner about when detention was supposed to start, etc, etc, etc. You however, are butchering the English language in a most heinous manner, and I feel the need to preserve the sanctity of said language, and therefore, correct you. You are in shock, and ask if I have indeed said what I have just said. Lily says that I have and you, looking quite like a beached whale, ask again. I point out that I have already said what I have just said. And here we are now. Do you understand?" he asked sweetly, as if his chief goal in life was to clear things up for the irate caretaker.

Filch muttered something about the sass and disrespect he was being forced to endure, and that Dumbledore would not sleep another night until he heard of the aforementioned sass and disrespect. He glared at both James, and a shocked but amused Lily, and told them in no uncertain terms that this dungeon was supposed to be cleaned from top to bottom and he didn't give a damm if it took them the entire night to do so. "I want to be able to see my reflection in this floor, do you understand?"

James muttered something about earthquakes, before nodding. The earthquake statement seemed to fly over Filch's head, while Lily had to work hard to turn her snort of laughter into a cough. Just as Filch was about to leave, he turned around and said, "Oh, and when I mean clean the dungeon, I mean you have to empty and clean out all this." Giving them a malevolent grin, he swung open a cupboard to show the horrified pair various body parts as well as small animals that were kept pickled in grimy jars. "I want all this disposed off, and the jars need to be scrubbed out. I wasn't going to make you do this, but that one over there just couldn't help himself, could he?" he added, extending a stubby finger at James. "Oh, and no magic." He chuckled to himself, obscenely happy, before making his exit.

Lily had been determined not to say a word to her less-than-happy acquaintance for the rest of the evening, but the sight of those jars pushed her over the edge. "Potter, I cannot believe you. Because of you and your anal antics we are being forced to touch pickled body parts. I, for one, _refuse_ to come _near_ those things with a fifty-foot barge pole."

James, not at all pleased to have the entire blame put on his head, devilishly handsome, and roguishly windswept as it was, was quick to respond. "Evans, you are hardly ten feet away from those jars. Being a bit melodramatic aren't we? God, why is it such a _drama_ with girls? 'Eww, I can't touch that. It. Is. Gross. God forbid, I break a nail'."

Lily looked at him viciously before turning to the bucket on the floor. "No bloody magic, damned un-fucking-believable, bloody snotrag-" Lily abruptly took the sponge she had been using to attack the floor, and threw it in a perfectly aimed shot at James's head.

James, having looked up when Lily first swore, found his sarcastic 'Congratulations, Evans, you do have a backbone!' cut of by a sponge that had no intention of stopping. He dropped speedily to the floor, but, unfortunately, the floor was wet, and so it was that James found himself speeding headlong into a large collection of pickled organs and appendages. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

Lily, quite pleased with the course her projectile had taken, burst into laughter, as James stood up, covered in various anonymous substances, a furious look on his face. He stalked towards her in what he hoped was a formidable and fear inspiring manner, but was disappointed when she only laughed harder. "I. Am. Covered. In. _Stuff_." His voice rose an octave as his hands flew expressively into the air, "What is wrong with you, Evans? No, don't bother to answer; I don't have all day to listen to the no doubt extensive list." He noticed a pickled …thing on the floor and pointing at it, started to yell. "I mean what the _freak_ is _that_? Is that a human **heart**? A bladder? A kidney? A lung? Wait, if it's a lung, should there not be two of them? Don't they come in pairs? Aren't they, like…together? Is it legal to separate them?" James leapt onto a chair, "Omigod! Omigod! It smells! It bloody reeks, do I smell like that? Do _I_ really smell like _that_? Oh my god, I have B.O." Lily had stopped laughing to stare at him as he continued his feminine antics, "Damn it, I smell, and my hair! It's plastered to my head, what would my mum say if she saw me like this? My beautiful hair, it's all greasy! Like Snape, omigod, do I have _Snape-esque hair_? Is my nose all deformed now? Is it…pointy? Am _I_ Snape-esque?" James picked one of the jars up and urgently looked at his reflection, before dropping it, "What the freak is that? And my hair!" James's hand reached up in an attempt to put his hair to rights, "Oh, my god, my fingers! They smell grotesque! My fingers have B.O., is there such a thing as F.O.?" He reached down, presumably to wipe his precious fingers on his robes, "Oh no, my robes! Evans, do you have one those girly potions you girls use?"

"Er…you mean perfume?"

"Yes!" James shrieked happily, "Yes! Do you have some?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't carry perfume to detention." Lily spoke slowly, as though he was a small child, which he may well have been, considering his 'F.O.'.

"Why not? You're a girl, aren't you?" James fluttered his hands around in consternation.

"What's the matter Potter?" She paused delicately and gave a pointed look towards his hands. "Break a nail?"

James, having deemed the floor safe to stand on, jumped off of his chair onto the floor and turned to face her. "This. Is. All. Your. Fault."

"Potter, it is not my fault you look like a deformed Snape-esque chipmunk." Lily couldn't help throwing his worst fear back at him.

James almost lunged at her, before stopping to remind himself that she was girl, and he did not beat them up. He breathed through his nose slowly, once and then twice. "Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion Evans?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard it. I want an apology right now."

Lily looked at him coolly. "I'm sorry you look like a deformed Snape-esque chipmunk."

"_Excuse me_?"

"You heard it," replied Lily, her voice rising higher then usual in an effort to mock him.

"Evans, calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I want an apology, now!" James wasn't playing around anymore and Lily had thrown her sponge down to face him when she had heard the stupid comment.

"I am not apologizing. What do I have to apologize for?"

"Other than your obnoxious presence, the fact that you single-handedly pushed me into that cupboard is something to apologize for." James looked at her coldly and tried to cross his arms, before letting them fall to the side as he looked at them in revulsion. James was covered in slime from head to foot and it would take him years in the shower and millions of bottles of cologne to get the smell to go away. It would be fair to say that he was quite pissed.

"Technically Potter, I just threw a sponge at you. Is it my fault that you are so goddamn clumsy?"

"The floor was wet!"

"And who was wiping the floor?" asked Lily, immensely pleased with her response. She bent back down and resumed wiping the floor.

Smack.

James, in a fit of pique, had thrown his sodden sponge across the room hitting Lily on the back of the head. Stunned, Lily turned around to face him.

Smack.

Dripping wet and smelling of something she didn't care to identify, Lily wiped the front of her face, James's second sponge falling to the floor.

"Oops, must have slipped," remarked James, gazing at her in scorn. "After all, I am clumsy!"

"You little-" Lily grabbed the sponges and flung them back at him with all her might. She was beyond anger and her vision was none too clear. Red spots seemed to be dancing in front of her eyes, and she couldn't seem to control herself anymore.

James, shocked at her reaction, managed a small grin at her fiery state. This was more like it. He dodged one of her sponges, but the other one hit him squarely on the crotch. He winced slightly, and looked down at the now wet…area. Because of his preoccupation he missed her third assault, taking two sponges, one after the other, in the face.

They spent the next half hour hurling sponges, mops, brooms, and other miscellaneous cleaning supplies at each other. Several buckets of water were filled, and by the time they stopped for a rest, they were both drenched. Unidentifiable sludge covered James's glasses, and Lily was paying for the fact that she had again chosen to wear a white t-shirt. She looked down at herself, swore sharply and wrapped her arms around herself with a squelch.

James looked up at her, wiping his glasses off on his robes and grinned once more. She really should have known better then to wear white when they were dealing with cleaning supplies and lots of water. Lily's red tank top was showing clearly through her soaked t-shirt and the caption made James laugh out loud. "'Why ride a broom when you can ride a Quidditch player?'," he read aloud, snickering.

Lily's face flamed. "Sierra gave it to me as a joke Christmas present last year, ok?" she demanded, testily. "I wasn't planning on getting wet!"

"S'ok Evans, its good to have it all out in the open. Now, which Quidditch player have you been riding recently, or is there more than one?"

Lily gasped out loud, before blushing inadvertently. She couldn't believe he had made such a derogatory remark. "We all aren't whores like you Potter," she snapped.

His face went slack at her comment. Was Lily Evans using such words now? "What the hell do you mean?"

"Shagged anyone in a broom cupboard lately?" asked Lily snidely, stepping aside smoothly as he flung a bucket at her head.

And they were off.

Half an hour later, the dungeon was messier that in had ever been. Filch chose this opportune moment to check on them.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Er…" James and Lily looked at each other blankly, before putting down their ammunition, "…we're cleaning."

"CLEANING?" Filch looked apoplectic.

Lily and James winced before glancing around to survey their surroundings. The mess James had made with the jars was still there, with slime oozing on the floor and several…parts…were flung about in a haphazard manner. The floor was slippery, with puddles of water collecting at random spots and cleaning supplies were spread throughout the room. In short, it looked like an earthquake and a hurricane had hit simultaneously, with Lily and James being the lone survivors.

"Yes…?" tried Lily in a vain attempt to smooth things over. "See, James and I decided to spread water all over the floor and we were just going to mop it all up when you walked in." James, in his haste to agree with this highly ludicrous story, nodded vehemently.

"Well, you missed quite a few spots," spat Filch. "If Dumbledore wasn't so soft, I would take the two of you and string you up by your toes. Then I would proceed to pull out each of your toe nails, one by one." He glared menacingly at the two of them.

"You would need a pretty tall ladder for that," remarked James.

Lily looked at him in astonishment. What was wrong with this boy? Did he have a death wish?

"What do you mean, Potter?" asked Filch, slightly diverted from the tirade that was sure to come.

"Well, if you are going to string us up by our toes and _then_ remove our toe nails, you'll have to reach our toe nails first, and for that, you'll need a ladder," James explained.

Filch shook his head. He didn't even WANT to understand. "All I know is that I come in here and instead of a clean room, all I see uncleanliness! Do you here me? UN-CLEAN-LI-NESS!"

"Mr. Filch?"

"Yes, Ms. Evans?"

"Uncleanliness is a word that means lack of cleanly habits; it is not used to describe an area, hence your statement that all you _see_ is 'uncleanliness' is grammatically incorrect."

James and Lily had pleasure of seeing the vein in his forehead bulge, "Oh, really, Ms. Evans? Well, despite that, I still see a part of this room which is very unclean…other than you two."

"What part?" James asked. He had thoroughly enjoyed himself watching Lily rile the cantankerous caretaker, and felt it was only fair he got his turn.

"The ceiling! The CEIL-ING!"

"What?" This time, James was just confused.

"You missed a big spot, kids, a big spot. I still see uncleanliness on the ceiling!"

Lily was too bewildered to correct him this time. "How are we supposed to reach, let alone clean the ceiling, without magic?"

"That is hardly my problem. I want an un-uncleanliness ceiling when I come back, do you hear me?"

James winced in preparation, hoping he wouldn't begin shouting again. "We hear you alright," he muttered, glowering at Filch.

Filch shot them both thoroughly disgusted looks before walking out.

Lily looked hopelessly up at ceiling. It looked pretty clean to her - except for all the nasty spots and the occasional green blob here there. So a couple potions had probably exploded and stained the ceiling. Was that such a big deal? Who actually looked up and noticed any of it?

"You realize that this is all your fault?" demanded James. "Now if I was going to be utterly childish I would throw you at the ceiling, but we can't exactly do that can we? Although, it didn't stop you from pushing me into that cupboard," he muttered under his breath.

"Shut up, Potter. I don't have time for your idiocy at the moment. Do you mind? I have to come up with plan that solves the problem of cleaning the ceiling without magic."

"Oh, and I can't come up with a plan? Are you saying I'm useless?"

"Uh, yes," said Lily, nodding vigorously to confirm her words. She abruptly stopped nodding and turned to face him, all traces of a scowl long gone. "James…."

"What?" he asked, unnerved by the flirty tone of voice.

"See… I have this idea. We could push benches together and stack them, and then, one of us could climb up and clean the ceiling! Brilliant, isn't it?"

"Brilliant? Do you _want_ to die?"

"Don't be silly," Lily laughed, albeit hysterically, to show that his idea was utterly ridiculous. "Nobody is going to _die_. Maybe, be maimed a little, but I'm sure Madam Pomfrey can deal with that…"

"When you say 'one of us' is going to climb up, you mean yourself right?"

"James, Jamsie-poo, James laddie, of course I don't mean me. I mean, you're taller than I am, so it makes sense that you would climb up there." Lily's jaw was starting to hurt from her insincere and continuous grinning. She dropped her voice, and muttered breathily, "Plus, you have all those manly…muscles," she added for effect.

James jumped as if he had been scalded and slapped Lily's hand away from his abs. "Stop being so creepy. God, I'll do it, just go back to being your annoying banshee-like self, ok? But if I'm going up there, you have to be standing right under me, so that if I fall, you can catch me."

Lily looked at him askance, all pretense of niceness, melting away. "Catching you? More like being squashed by you. You're so freakin' tall, with all those bloody muscles!"

"I thought my height and muscular build was a good thing?"

"I was obviously lying, you loser!"

"Well, if you aren't going to stand under me, then I'm not going up there, and we will be strung up by our toes when Filch comes back to rant about 'uncleanliness'." It was now past ten o'clock, and James was beyond tired. It had been a very long day.

Lily's lips twitched slightly at the thought of Filch and his 'Uncleanliness Rant' before sighing morosely and nodding. "Fine, I'll stand under you, but we better start pushing those benches together."

They worked in silence for fifteen minutes, with Lily pushing the benches and James stacking them on top of each other. When they had made a sufficiently tall stack, James looked up at the teetering pile, and gulped audibly. He turned urgently to Lily, "If I die, you get nothing, nothing you hear me? NO-THING!"

"Gee, thanks, Potter," replied Lily, sarcastically. "Now get your arse up there!"

This presented a bit of a problem. The benches were stacked close to the wall, but not exactly against it, so James was a bit anxious about dieing an early death, imagining falling off and being buried by them. However, with Lily's help, and the wall for support, he managed to make it to the top, and Lily climbed up a little way after him to hand him cleaning supplies.

"Remember to stand right under me, got it?" yelled James, his voice echoing in the cavernous room.

"Yea, yea," Lily called back, rolling her eyes. She watched him religiously as he moved like a toddler, slowly beginning to gain confidence. A couple minutes passed, and since Lily could see that he was managing quite well up there, she grabbed a mop and began cleaning the floor.

"Evans!"

"What, Potter?" she asked irritably, without turning around.

"EVANS!"

"What?" she asked again, still not facing him.

"EV-ANS!"

Lily turned and screamed bloody murder as she saw James coming towards her, his arms flailing wildly, as he tried to slow himself down. She tripped on an uneven tile in her haste to get out from under him, and hit the floor hard, instinctively rolling away from where he would land.

James had never been more terrified in his life. He had been cleaning when he felt his feet slip, unexpectedly, causing him to plummet to the floor, while screaming the entire time. He tried to slow himself down, and put his arms out in front of him to break his fall. He fell with a loud 'humph!' and rolled, landing on top of Lily.

"Oof!" Lily cried. Her yell of pain was cut off, when James rolled onto her. Nevertheless, she could see the pain on his face, and asked, "Are you ok?"

He didn't reply for a few minutes; if Lily couldn't have heard his ragged breathing, she would have been sure he was dead. He was almost crushing her with his weight, when he moved slightly, allowing her to breath. When she was sure he was alive, she said, "What the hell were you doing up there?"

This seemed to jolt James back to life, because he finally opened his eyes and muttered. "Dancing the bloody salsa! What the hell do you think I was doing?"

Lily was about to reply, but was slightly disconcerted by the distance between them, or lack thereof. He was still more or less on top of her, his face mere inches from hers, and she could actually see the gold flecks in his chocolate brown eyes, that so many girls had swooned over. ("He has the most gorgeous eyes, ever! I mean, there are literally gold flecks in them! Sooo cute!") Those eyes were throwing her off as she struggled to come up with a sufficiently crushing retort.

As Lily and James silently tried to recover from their fall, Professor McGonagall decided to stop by and check on them. She was pleased that there had been no more trouble in detention, and was about to congratulate them on their more mature behavior when she saw the scene before her. The entire dungeon was a mess, and beside a stack of benches that were inexplicably piled to the ceiling, she saw James lying on top of Lily. Before she could make her presence known, she heard Lily's voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you Potter?"

"What's wrong with _me_? This was _your_ idea! _You _wanted to do this!"

"It was my idea, but you weren't supposed to roll on top of me!"

"Oh really? And how do you suggest we do it? You're the one who wanted me on top!"

"You know what, Potter? You are obviously inept at this, and we are not going to get anywhere if you are going to take the lead. So this time, I'll go up there, ok?" Lily was annoyed beyond belief, not to mention bruised all over, and decided that she would climb up and clean the ceiling.

"Be my guest, I'd like to see you do it any better."

"Oh, you will," Lily cried, pushing him off.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" cried Professor McGonagall, shocked beyond belief. What were her students doing?

"Professor McGonagall!" cried Lily, jumping up, and eliciting a cry of pain from James as she rolled out from under him. "Are you ok?" she asked again, extending a hand to help him up.

James shook his head, pain clouding his features once more. "I think my wrist is broken, and I definitely dislocated a shoulder-"

"YOU BROKE HIS WRIST!"

James opened his eyes to meet Lily's concerned ones, and before he could think about what her concern meant to him, the Professor had rushed over to them. "This is highly inappropriate behavior! Highly inappropriate!"

"What do you mean?" asked Lily, confusion evident on her face. "We were just cleaning the ceiling…"

"'Cleaning the ceiling'? Is that what it's called these days?"

"What's called 'cleaning the ceiling' these days?" James asked inquisitively.

McGonagall's face colored, and she cast around for a way to say what she meant, without actually having to say it. "This," she said, waving her arms to encompass the two of them, "all of this! You know…"

They quite obviously didn't know and gave her encouraging looks to continue further.

"You know…_canoodling_!" the Professor cried, finally giving in.

Lily and James both cried out in disgust and rushed to explain the situation.

"Filch made us clean the ceiling!"

"He said he's string us up by our toes if we didn't!"

"We're telling the truth, we swear!"

"That's why the benches are piled up. James was on top of them, cleaning the ceiling and then he fell down!"

McGonagall looked highly skeptical, but seeing the very real hurt on James's face, decided that it didn't really matter at the moment.

"Mr. Potter, I think you need to get to the Hospital Wing immediately – and you too, Ms. Evans. God knows what trauma you two have suffered. But since you didn't finish your assigned task today, you'll have to come back tomorrow and clean up the dungeon, is that clear?"

They both nodded, and with Professor McGonagall helping James, the trio walked out, slamming the dungeon door behind them.

A loud crash ensued, and Lily hurried back to see what had happened. She opened the door once more and saw their carefully stacked benches lying in a pile on the floor.

She rushed back to the waiting pair. "The benches fell down. Do we have to clean that up tomorrow, as well? This all your fault, Potter!"

"_My_ fault? This was ALL YOUR IDEA!"

McGonagall sighed wearily, before casting a silencing charm on the bickering pair, leaving them to glare silently at each other.

**O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N:** _We enjoyed writing this chapter, especially James's rant about his 'F.O.'. If you don't get the joke for whatever reason please ask us to explain further in a review. _

_Please review!_

_**CL**_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **_**We're extremely sorry for this late update but considering the fact that our last chapter got a grand total of THREE reviews, we don't think anyone can blame us. On a slightly different note…how is everyone faring with the end of a phenomenon? The fifth movie came out, and great as that was (if you firmly separate the book from the movie) we were a bit more excited about **_**Deathly Hallows**_**. Mixed reviews from us, we're afraid. Some bits were spectacular but the death toll (we don't want to say too much in case someone hasn't read it yet) was too high, in some cases, and the ending far from satisfactory. The epilogue left a lot to be desired and the Snape storyline…well, as strong L/J shippers we can't say we were all too happy with what happened there. Anyway, we'd love to hear your take on things, especially on the Snape storyline, so when you review, please share your opinions!**_

_**Without further ado here is the tenth chapter of **_**Moments Lost in Time**

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter Ten: 5'2 is **_**NOT**_** Short!**

"Hey Sirius." Sirius looked up.

"Hey," he said, in what he hoped was a cool and unaffected manner.

The blonde twirled her hair about her finger, and popped her gum obnoxiously; "Want to go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday? We could do some window shopping…or not…." She stepped closer to him, their faces mere inches apart.

"That sounds promising," Sirius replied in a nonchalant manner.

"Oh, it is." The blonde smirked, as Sirius stepped even closer to her than before, both of them blithely ignoring the eating crowd. Everybody was in the Great Hall eating dinner, and since it was the evening before the first Hogsmeade visit of the year, people were flitting from table to table, asking each other out at the last minute. Sirius, especially, was getting bombarded by girls, and he was finding it extremely hard to turn anyone down.

"And how can I turn an offer like that down?" Sirius shot his trademark grin and made a note of his date in the small book he kept for such things, as the girl giggled and ran off to tell her friends of her plans.

Peter, who was looking at Sirius with awe and devotion, said, "Wow, Sirius, how do you _do_ that?"

Sirius turned to Peter. "It's just me, Pete, how could they resist?" Sirius paused to look at a girl passing their table, "Watch and learn."

"Hey babe," Sirius stood up and tossed his arm around the girl's shoulder as she looked up at him and giggled, "what do you say? You and me, at Hogsmeade. Together." Sirius smiled charmingly at the girl as she giggled, nodding breathlessly.

"Hey, wait, I didn't catch your name," Sirius said, as the girl started to walk away.

"Clarissa."

"Well, sweet thing, I'll think of you - all day, and all night." Sirius winked at her, and smirked when she ran to her inquisitive friends. His smirk grew when he heard their squeals.

"And that's all there is to it Pete! See that girl there? Now, you try."

Peter turned towards the girl passing their table, and stood up, trying to ignore that she towered over him. He put his arm around her shoulders, pretending he didn't need to reach up to do so. "Hey sweet thang," Peter quipped, trying desperately to emulate Sirius, "what do you say, me and you together at Hogsmeade?"

The girl looked at him in disgust, "My name is Dana, not 'sweet thang'." She emphasized the 'A'.

Peter waved this bit of information away, as though it was of no consequence to him, "Well, then, D_a_na, how about it? Wouldn't you _love_ to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

She didn't answer, merely giving him a disdainful look. Peter tried out his last coercive measure, "C'mon babe, I'll think of you all day – and all night."

She opted for action over thought – she slapped him.

Peter clutched his cheek, "Is that how you treat all of your dates, woman?"

"Sorry mate," Dana feigned apology, "but I'm not your type – I'm not inflatable, or imaginary," she said, turning away.

"Wait!" Peter cried, reaching out to stop her.

"You'd better save your breath…you'll need it to blow up your 'date'."

Peter was quick to sit down again. "Well, Pete, maybe next time," Sirius said, before he was accosted by yet another member of the opposite gender.

Peter shrugged morosely and made his way over to James and Remus who were seated at the Gryffindor table, eating dinner, "So, did either of you get asked out to Hogsmeade?"

Remus and James nodded, "Several times," they muttered in unison.

"But honestly," Remus cried, "how many people are that desperate? I had one girl ask me out _three_ times before giving up!"

"Wait, how did that happen? You're a bookworm! Do you meet all these people in the bloody library?"

"Thanks Peter. Nice to know what you really think of me."

"Oh suck it up," James advised to Remus, before turning to Peter. "For some reason, they've all got it into their heads that Moony is the sensitive sort, the type that will serenade them with love songs written by the moonlight."

Peter opened his mouth, but was cut off by the arrival of his previous (lack of) conquest, Dana. "Hey Remus, you change your mind about Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

Peter gaped at Remus and Dana, as Remus replied, "Sorry, Dana, I'm actually going with James and Peter tomorrow, but save the next trip for me, okay?"

Dana grinned amiably, "Alright, just asking." She turned and began to walk away.

"_How_ do you guys get all these dates?" When Remus and James simply shook their heads, Peter ran to Dana.

"I just overheard…" Peter began with great gusto, "and couldn't help but feel sorrow at the thought that you might have to go to Hogsmeade unaccompanied. That doesn't seem right, beautiful lady that you are…"

"Pettigrew, are you trying to chat me up again?"

Peter winked in what he thought was a dashing, debonair, manner, "Is it working?"

"Yes," she said nodding, plastering a phony smile on her face.

"Really?" asked Peter, his voice cracking in his obvious excitement.

"_No_." Dana walked off, shaking her head and muttering about people who tried too hard.

Peter once again made the lonely walk back to his friends, shaking his head at their inquiring looks.

"I don't get it," he said with a sigh, plopping back down in his chair. James and Remus looked up from their dinner with expressions of sympathy (Sirius was still out there, "playing the field"). "James, are you going out with anyone tomorrow?"

"Nope," replied James. "Got plenty of offers though…."

"Then why aren't you going out with any of them?" asked Peter in astonishment. Turning down any available date was a foreign concept to him.

"Well," said James with an exaggerated sigh, "I really don't think my wrist could handle the pressure." Here he gave a certain redhead who was seated quite close to him pointed looks, something that she was not at all happy with. Why did she have to have mutual friends with Potter?

"Oh grow up," snapped Lily, tired of his 'Oh-look-at-me,-I-got-hurt-can-you-snog-me-to-make-it-better?' antics. "God, Madame Pomfrey fixed your wrist in five seconds, do you really need to go into unnecessary and extremely childish theatrics?"

"It's still sore!" James protested. "And besides, it's your fault my wrist was broken in the first place. It's was all your idea: 'Oooh, James, you're soooooooo manly, and strong and buff and risqué. Go up and clean the ceiling, because I'm just too stupid to do so on my own'."

Lily threw a spoon at him. James subsided immediately, rubbing his wound and muttering beneath his breath.

"_What_? You said he was manly, and _risqué_?!" Sierra exclaimed, turning to Lily.

Lily looked at Sierra, aggravated that her friend, instead of jumping to her defense, was now daring to question what she may or may not have said. "No! I called him manly, _not _risqué, and it was just so he would go clean the stupid ceiling. It's not like I actually _meant_ it."

"Riiiiight…clean the ceiling…of course." Sierra nodded as if this was the accustomed reason for someone to call their enemy "risqué".

"What_ is_ it with people not believing that we were being forced to clean the ceiling? Filch is a buggering idiot, why wouldn't he make us clean the ceiling?"

"…Because it's a stupid thing to do?" Carina offered.

"Haven't we already established that Filch is stupid? That he is evil? I mean, really, because of him, James had to fall on me!"

"He…_fell _on you?" Sierra and Carina looked vastly more interested now than they had been when she had told them about it last week.

James muttered darkly, "Unfortunately."

"Hey, be bloody grateful I was there to break your fall, I mean you could have split your over-inflated head instead of your 'fragile' wrist."

"We all know how much you loved me being on top of you Evans. Too bad the pleasure wasn't mutual."

"Be thankful! I could have kneed you if I wanted to, but because I am a nice, kind, wonderful person, I didn't. Consider the fact that I didn't a thank you."

"That's true," Peter cried, "you may have broken your wrist, and your shoulder may have been dislocated, but at least you can still have children! Lames and Jily are still a possibility!"

"Lames and…Jily?" Remus asked him in disbelief.

"It's_ the_ cutest thing to do, combining the parents' names! Lily and James, Jily and Lames, so fetch!"

"But…Peter," Remus said, deciding to ignore Peter's femininity, "what if Lily and James don't have children?"

"Well, Jarina and Cames, Jierra and Sames, Lirius and Sily, Lemus and Rily, Leter and Pily don't sound very good, Remus. I'm just being logical."

"Well, what if James doesn't marry one of these three?"

"Who else is gonna marry him? Dana?" He rolled his eyes as if this was a preposterous thought. Then, he muttered quietly, "Jana and Dames…nope, not working." He looked up once more to address the entire group, "I mean I should open a private office, and help people choose who they get married to!"

Remus, in true supportive best friend fashion, questioned hesitantly, "You mean, you'll tell people who they should marry based on the compatibility of their names?"

"I'm not sure what you just said, but yea! I could be the…Combo- Nameo- Guro!"

"Er…you mean 'guru'?" Sierra questioned.

"No, not '_g__uru', _it messes up the flow, I mean, the 'Combo-Nameo-_Guru'_?" Then, to himself once more, "Pierra and Seter…still not working. Sorry babe."

"Right, of course," Carina nodded in comprehension, trying desperately to contain her laughter. "Lames and Jily will be welcomed with open arms."

Sirius made his way over to the group, still clutching his little black book. "Who are Lames and Jily?"

"James's and Lily's future children."

"We're not having children!" Lily cried. Ever since their detention she had taken up an air of almost-indifference, but it was all shot to pieces by this latest assumption. Lily was being unusually careful around James, especially in what she said to him, still remembering the 'Wet Tank Top Incident' that had occurred during their detention. Even though it had been a week and a half since then, she was still smarting from James's spiteful words and didn't want to instigate something similar.

James had also been running Lily's words through his mind at the oddest of occasions, and although he had felt slightly remorseful at his comments, her nasty rejoinder had left him feeling more indignant than sympathetic. Now they were walking around each other, as if on egg shells, and although they still snipped at each other, it wasn't quite at the same intensity as before. Besides, at the moment, they were too busy trying to convince their friends that Filch was capable of making them clean the ceiling. Somehow, to their friends, it didn't seem like a plausible story.

In any case, Lily and James were being more careful around each other, not because they had decided to bury the hatchet, but because they had decided that starting a scene on the evening before Hogsmeade might result in their expulsion from the trip. There would be more opportunities to explain to each other exactly how much they despised each other, later on.

"So who are you going to Hogsmeade with, Sirius?" asked Peter. Lily, Carina, and Sierra sighed collectively. Ever since the Hogsmeade visit had been announced, Peter had been running around trying to get a date, while pestering the rest of them for details on theirs. James and Remus had decided to spend this first visit together (inevitably joined by Peter), and the girls had done the same. Lily knew that since Carina and Sierra were friends with James, in all likelihood, she would be spending her visit with James, Remus, and Peter. Lovely.

"Who am I _not_ going to Hogsmeade with?" replied Sirius with a grin. "Ok, here goes: Blair, Estelle, Clarissa, Marie, Jordan, Kate, Danielle, Taylor, Courtney, Jessica, Liz, Terri, Lynn, Ashley, Jackie, Paula, Lily/Carina/Sierra…with the possibility of three more." Sirius closed his little book and looked up proudly at his friends' flabbergasted faces. "What…one Sirius, many girls."

"Excuse me, but when did I, Lily or Sierra, _ever_ ask you out to Hogsmeade?" asked Carina, marveling at the audacity of it all.

"You didn't have to ask, babe, I knew you guys would want to spend some quality time with me, so I slotted you in. No, no," he held up his hands as if to ward off her next words, "you don't have to thank me."

As Carina simmered silently beside her, Sierra spoke up. "What do you mean when you say you 'slotted us in'?"

"I mean, that I gave the three of you a fifteen minute time slot, in which to do whatever you want with me. Now, since there are three of you, you'll have to make do with five minutes each. And please…no catfights." Sirius closed his eyes, as if to ward of images of previous catfights that had taken place over his wonderful self. "How does 4:00 to 4:15 work for you? I really don't have any other time since Paula is going before you, and someone else will undoubtedly come after. If, for some incomprehensible reason, no one else asks me out from now till tomorrow, I may even stretch your time slot to 4:30! How does that sound, girls? Ten minutes each!" Sirius looked at the trio, fully expecting adoring gratitude. All he got were scowls, and mutters of disbelief.

Carina looked up. "Wow, Sirius, ten whole minutes? I'm not sure I can cram all I want to do with you into ten minutes…" She had a flirty tone to her voice, but her words were laced with considerable sarcasm.

Sirius decided to ignore the sarcasm and replied with a, "Well, babe, just ask me out, and I'll put you after Lily/Sierra! Then, you'll get fifteen minutes to yourself!"

Carina turned to her friends. "I still don't think fifteen minutes will be enough! I mean can you really assassinate someone, and then hide the evidence by throwing said person into some cave, in that much time?"

"Cave outings!" said Sirius enthusiastically, ignoring the rest of her statement. "That's a highly original idea, Carina." He said this in patronizing tones, as if any minute now, he would throw her a biscuit to reward her for her cleverness. "Although, I'm not sure we can go spelunking in fifteen minutes….and if I spend thirty minutes with you the rest of them might get jealous…" Sirius furrowed his brow, looking as if he were working through an extremely difficult arithmetic problem.

"Hold on, hold on, hold _on_!" cried Peter, waving his arms around to signify the urgency of his request. He had been watching Sirius and Carina banter back and forth avidly, his head swiveling from one to the other. "Isn't spelunking when you go and throw boulders into a lake and they make that 'spelunk' sound? I LOVE doing that! The boulders get a bit heavy though…."

Everybody ignored him.

"Sirius I cannot believe you! Have you organized your ENTIRE day into fifteen minute time slots which are all assigned to a different girl?" Carina's voice rose higher and higher, incredulity evident in her wide gray-green eyes.

"Um, yea, how else am I supposed to make them all happy? I'm really being fair here," replied Sirius, not understanding why she was finding this so difficult to comprehend.

"Wait," interjected Lily, "do the other girls know about this?"

"Uh…yea. They love how I'm so creative…and smart…and imaginative…and-"

"Ok, stop." All three girls were looking at Sirius like he had grown an extra head.

"I really don't understand the problem here," said Sirius, shrugging his broad shoulders. He turned to Remus, James, and Peter, who were all placidly eating, having heard Sirius's complicated dating system before. "They're all chicktionary approved…"

The boys nodded as if to say 'Shouldn't they be?'

"Hold up," said Carina, holding her hand out like a traffic warden, "what do you mean when you say 'chicktionary approved'?"

Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "This really isn't you day, is it sweetheart? I mean that all the girls I'm going out with scored over a 6.5 on our scale. Although, Paula received a 6.1, but I let her slide by." He smiled apologetically at the boys, who nodded their assent.

"It's ok," reassured James, "0.4 won't make much of a difference in fifteen minutes."

"Wow, that's extremely generous of you Black," Carina quipped. "You let a 6.1 slide by? That's almost as high as your IQ!"

Sirius frowned at her before rooting around in his school bag and pulling out a blood red book. "What did we rate you again, Carina? Whatever it was, it probably isn't low enough."

He frowned slightly in concentration as he flipped pages. When he found the page he was looking for, his jaw dropped slightly. "How did she get a 9.5? This is out of ten, right?" He turned to his friends in consternation. "Were we all, for some unfathomable reason, hit over the head by a _very_ big rock at the time? We must have been; she should be getting somewhere in the 4-5 range!"

James, Remus, and Peter shook their heads collectively. Remus spoke up. "You're the one who gave her a ten in every bloody category, except Compliments. There, you gave her a 9.95." He stood up and walked around and took the book from Sirius's hands. "See, all out scores are listed here. You're one who threw off our averages!"

Sirius stared at the page in alarm. "This is _not_ possible. I don't think I've given another girl such high scores! Why didn't you slap me out of it? Now this entire page has to be reconfigured!"

"Thanks so much Sirius. That makes me feel a lot better." Secretly, Carina was slightly pleased that she had received such a high score, but then she immediately felt ashamed at getting caught up in the Marauder's idiocy, and tried to talk herself out of it.

As Sirius waved the book around in disquiet, the girls got a glimpse of a picture of Carina, grinning up at them, the dimple in her left cheek all too apparent. 'Carina Leslie Favreaux' was written above her picture in gold script, with a neat line of numbers listed beneath. Beside her picture, her house, age, and year were written, as well as hair and eye color. A list of pros and cons was written beneath her profile. Her score was written under her picture, in red ink, and it was this number that was causing Sirius a lot of trouble.

Lily was caught in between amusement, anger at the chauvinism of it all, and curiosity with regards to her score. But first, there was a more pressing matter at hand. "Are you saying that you have every girl in the entire school in there?"

James shook his head. "Only fourth years and above."

"But that must take ages! Besides, what's all this averages business that Sirius was talking about?" Both Carina and Sierra leaned in closer, curious to know the answer.

"Well, there are ten categories, and each of us gives you marks out of ten for it. Then we average the four, for a final score in that category. After that, we average _those_ scores for a raw score out of ten," explained James. "Get it?"

Lily was marveling at the precise, scientific method they had gone around in accomplishing this Herculean task. Over a hundred girls were in that book, with all their scores computed mathematically and listed specifically.

"Of course, the Slytherins all received negative numbers for their scores," added Peter.

"So what did Lily get?" asked Carina, jerking her head in the redhead's direction.

"Honestly, Carina, it's not like I care what a bunch of hormonal gits rated me." Lily rolled her eyes in a withering manner, but underneath it all, she was slightly curious.

"9.5 as well," stated Remus, after flipping a few pages. Lily's face grinned up from her picture, with 'Lily Audrey Evans' glinting above it.

Carina and Sierra nodded, while Lily tried to look indifferent.

"What?!" expostulated James from across the table. He got up as well, abandoning his dinner to join Remus and Sirius on the other side of the table. "She got a 9.5? That's bloody impossible!"

Remus sighed wearily, before running his finger down a neat column of numbers. "You gave her a ten in almost every category, and 9.9999 in the others." He shook his head at his friend's confused expression.

"Why would I rate her so highly, Remus, why?" asked James, still refusing to believe what he had done.

"Er, because you were infatuated with her when we made this page?" hazarded Remus, with amusement.

"Infatuation?" spluttered James in disbelief. "I was NEVER _infatuated _with her…"

Sirius, Remus, Peter, Carina, and Sierra all burst into laughter, which did absolutely nothing to appease James or Lily.

"I wasn't! Plus, now that I've seen the light," he glanced scornfully at Lily, "I've decided to change my scores a bit. Ok, Face…" James looked up at Lily closely, and she found herself shrinking from his searching gaze. "Maybe a four, possibly a five…let's put it down as a four-point-five, shall we? Remus, why aren't you writing this down?"

Remus sighed again, before pulling out a quill, and scribbling down James's new score.

"Ok, moving on now. Legs…Lily, do you mind standing up and doing a little twirl. Your skirt will probably flare up, and that will help my evaluation, ok?"

"Are you out of your bloody mind, Potter?" asked Lily, enraged beyond belief. "I will NOT '_stand up and do a little twirl_'. What do you take me for?"

"Three."

"What?"

"Remus, did you get that? Face: 4.5. Legs: 3. Now, what's next?" He peered down at the page, and frowned again. "Remus, why is Lily's score only a 9.49 now? Haven't you been writing down my new scores?" The paper had been enchanted to change the final score automatically when the original scores were changed, so Lily's new score was blinking up at them.

"Yes, I have James. We all gave her pretty high scores too…and you haven't finished altering the rest of her scores yet so…."

"Ok, stop right there," said Lily, her voice low, but laced with considerable anger. "I am _not_ going to be part of your ridiculously juvenile scheme. None of those categories are based on things that actually matter, are they Potter?"

Sirius looked frantically down at the paper, before clutching the area above his heart in relief. "Nope, 'Love for Quidditch' and 'Legs' is still on there!"

Lily shot him a derisive look. "'Love for Quidditch'? You consider that to be important? What about personality, or intelligence?"

"What about them?" inquired James. "Am I really going to care about how many OWLS the girl has received before I go to Hogsmeade with her?"

"I really cannot believe you, Potter. It always seems that you're at your most despicable, but then, you sink even lower. You're below a toxic, nuclear waste disposal at the moment; I don't think it's possible to sink any lower. But knowing you Potter, I'm sure you'll find a way. Your utterly egotistical and sexist remarks give you a lower score than Snape, in my eyes, Potter."

James's eyes widened in shock at her last shot, before narrowing in fury: "You know what, Evans? Don't turn bloody sanctimonious and pious on me, ok? Would you go out on a date with someone who looked like a troll? I didn't think so. We're just writing down what we think for reference, so before you go calling us names, take a look in a mirror. Unless, you've cracked them all, already."

The rest of the group looking on in shock, and Lily and James ripped into each other, with no regards to what they were saying. Sierra, in a desperate attempt to change the subject and calm the two down, spoke up. "Hey," she said, shushing the arguing pair, "what's my score?"

James, looked away from Lily, and grabbed the book out of Remus's hands. "Uh," he flipped a few pages, before arriving at the one that said 'Sierra Diane Carlyle' in gold script at the top. "9.75."

"What?" asked Carina and Lily in unison. Lily was beyond hating herself at the moment, but she wanted to know why Sierra had been given a higher score than herself and Carina.

Sierra tried not to look too pleased with herself. "How did I get a higher score?"

James started pacing, glancing down at the page and taking in all the numbers swiftly. "Well, we all docked quite a few points for Height but-"

"What?" cried Sierra, glowering at James from the lofty heights of five feet two inches.

"-but, your position on the Quidditch team worked enormously in your favor, pulling you ahead of these two," finished James, jerking his head at Lily and Carina, not the least bit perturbed by Sierra's outburst.

"What?" It was Lily and Carina this time.

"You docked points because I'm short?"

"She got a higher score than us because she spends three to four nights a week whacking moving balls in the air?"

All four boys moved slightly away, as if expecting to be attacked.

"Now girls, what did I say about catfights?" asked Sirius slowly, looking at each girl in turn in an effort to subdue them.

It didn't work.

"'Whacking moving balls'? At least, I know what those balls are called, and at least I can get into the air, without my fear of heights weighing me down!"

"You promised never to mention that!" Lily cried, affronted.

"Well, guess what? I mentioned it!"

"I do know what the balls are called! There's a waffle, two budgies, and a smitch! Plus, there are seven players." Lily looked extremely proud of herself for remembering this fact.

Carina looked at her friend in wonderment. How was it possible to be so smart, yet so utterly stupid at the same time? "Uh, it's the quaffle, two bludgers, and a snitch. There are seven players, the beaters being the least important." The last bit was uttered contemptuously in Sierra's direction.

"Excuse me?" cried Sierra and Sirius together, fellow beaters on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

James was too busy lamenting the fact that he had wasted five years on a girl who thought he spent his time searching for a '_smitch_'. Boy was he glad that he had realized his mistake.

"It's true…" said Carina, with a shrug of her shoulders.

Sierra shook her head, her wavy, blonde hair flying. "If there wasn't a beater, than the rest of the players would be bloody pulp by now!"

James immediately jumped to his position's defense. "Well, the seeker is the most important player anyway. Without the seeker, the game loses all of its excitement. That's why the snitch is worth a hundred and fifty points, as opposed to a measly ten."

A Gryffindor chaser passing the group, immediately stopped. "It's sad that you people are so deluded," she said, shaking her head. "If there were no Chasers, there would no game. While the Beaters wander 'round trying to hit a stupid moving ball, and James blunders about the pitch trying to a spot, let alone, catch, a miniscule ball with wings, we Chasers keep the game going. If we weren't there, then nobody would want to watch!"

"Ellie, why do even _try_ to pretend that you know what you're talking about?" Sierra snapped.

"Well, Carlyle, it's really not pretending."

"Ok, stop," cried Carina, "we are not mad at each other, we are mad at them." She gazed accusingly at the quartet who shuffled back another step.

"Well then," said Ellie crossly, "figure out your own problems." She walked away to find her boyfriend, a Chaser for the Ravenclaw team, and related what had just happened. The two of them glared darkly at James, Sirius, and Sierra, muttering to each other.

"Let's get back to the matter at hand," said Sierra, facing the Marauders once more. "Let me make this as clear as possible: I am _NOT_ short!"

James hastily tried to placate her. "Not short per say, just petite! Yes, you're petite. It's cute, really."

"I don't want to be _cute_!" spat Sierra, disgusted with him. "That makes me sound about two years old! Besides, if it's so 'cute', then why would being petite, make me lose points?" demanded Sierra.

"Well, think about it," said Sirius, interrupting the two. "I'm six feet tall, right? So if we were going out, I would be walking around with my arm around someone who would be _ten_ inches shorter than me! TEN inches."

Sierra's eyes narrowed and turned a darker blue than they already were. "You're not six feet, Sirius. You're only 5'11."

"Big deal," said Sirius, rolling his eyes, "that's nine inches taller that you'll ever be."

Sierra head looked liked it was going to implode. Before she could explain to Sirius how exactly she was going to disembowel him and then force him to eat his innards, a foreign voice interrupted.

"Yes, yes, we know you're short. Now can we move to more important matters?"

Sierra turned around to face Amos Diggory, a seventh year from Hufflepuff. A coherent thought had barely crossed her mind, when she brought her knee up in a swift motion.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, all winced, feeling bad for the boy, but infinitely glad that it wasn't them. Lily and Carina just looked on, smirking imperceptibly.

"OWWW!" he screamed, doubled over in pain, wheezing and clutching his crotch. "What is wrong with you?!"

"What was that?" asked Sierra, bringing her hand up to her ear. "Didn't quite hear that, do you mind speaking up? It's just that you're bent over, and I really can't hear you seeing as how I'm so much taller."

Diggory just glared at her, before drawing himself up to his full height. "I wasn't even talking to you, O' Short One."

He swiftly moved out of the way, and turned to face a bemused Lily. "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Sirius grinned. "Wise choice Diggory, a 9.5!" Diggory just grinned and nodded, since he knew about the chicktionary. Almost every male in the castle did.

"Actually," said James, "it's a 9.49, and correcting!" He bent over the chicktionary once more, scribbling away with his quill, his tongue sticking out of his mouth.

Lily sighed disgustedly and for Sierra's benefit said, "I don't date people over six feet."

Amos looked floored at her rejection, and tried to look indifferent before walking away; trying to pretend that he didn't care that he had been rejected. He failed miserably.

Sierra settled back down between Lily and Carina to eat her dinner in peace, grinning widely at her friend.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N: **_**Please review! They ALWAYS brighten up our day, and we really do want to hear your opinions on the movie, the book...oh, and this chapter as well. :D Plus, if you review, we'll post the next chapter up sooner and quite a LOT happens in the next chapter…let's just say that Halloween is never quite the same with James and Lily around. **_

_**Cheers, **_

**Caeruleus Libellus**

**PS**_**: Oh, and bonus points go to those reviewers who can guess how tall we BOTH are (we really are almost the same height, lol)! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **_It's been a while…we know, biggest understatement of the century. Let's just say that school has started (duh!) and that we find ourselves unable to do anything but copious amounts of homework. We hear the question – What about weekends? Er…homework. What about the evenings? Homework. What are you going to do five years from now? Probably more homework. To make a long story short: we're sorry…_

…_so here's the next chapter of _**Moments Lost in Time**

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter Eleven: Pieces**

"And then … and then there was a flying, peach latrine with magenta polka dots and the pirate started laughing, 'ARRRHGH!'" Peter tripped over his words laughing at his own unfunny joke.

"Never again, Peter, never, ever, _ever_ again," Sirius said, quite shocked at his best friend's odd sense of humor.

Peter looked heartbroken, "But don't you get it? There was flying peach latrine, and the pirate thought it was funny, so he said 'Argh!'."

Remus looked up from his peppermint humbag, "But, Peter," he paused delicately, "latrines can't fly."

Peter looked horrified, "But what have we been doing in Charms? Are you saying I didn't make that hamster fly in first year? Are you saying that for the past five and a quarter years, I have been living a lie?"

Remus backtracked hurriedly, "No, Peter, it's just that, well, the pirate wasn't a wizard."

"Oh!" Peter cried in realization, "Did I not specify? So there was a flying, peach latrine with magenta polka dots, and the _wizard_ pirate started laughing, ARRRHGH!"

Remus, Sirius and James simply stared, while Peter huffed and sat back down, "Geez, guys, tough crowd! That was quite possibly _the _funniest joke I have ever heard, so go grow a funny bone, why don't you?"

Meanwhile, a few feet down the illustrious Gryffindor table, Sierra was choking on her food, "Tough crowd … funniest joke … funny bone!" Sierra cried, laughing fit to burst. Lily and Carina shook their respective heads.

Remus, who wanted to try to understand, turned to Peter. "Obviously that joke was quite funny, but did it have anything to do with Halloween considering we are at the _Halloween_ feast?" Remus swept one hand across the room, to indicate the orange bedecked room with exploding orange and black fireworks and floating jack-o-lanterns.

Peter nodded, and began to explain his joke to Remus in the manner one may explain that two plus two does not equal five to a stubborn toddler. "Halloween is a holiday for scary things, and a pirate-wizard is scary, therefore, it _does_ relate to Halloween, and you _should_ laugh!"

"Er…but I don't think pirate–wizards are scary," Remus said, confused. "Or even that they exist."

"But the joke was still funny!" Peter cried in consternation. "You know what? Never mind, some things are just too advanced for those of inferior intellect to comprehend." Peter glanced meaningfully at Remus, while Sirius snorted with laughter.

"You're quite right, Peter," James nodded wisely. "I'm quite sure your, er … 'joke'…was far beyond my levels of comprehension."

As the Marauders quibbled over the existence of Pirate-Wizards and dared each other to approach Professor Binns with a historical question that would inevitably result in an hour-long lecture, Lily, Carina, and Sierra were arguing about a substantially more important matter.

"Of COURSE, he's hot! How can you even _say_ that he isn't? He's a Quidditch captain!"

"Oh," said Lily in sardonic tones, "so Sierra, every Quidditch player who has the misfortune of becoming captain automatically transforms into a demi-God, do they?"

Sierra rolled her eyes, as if to hint at the stupidity of a person who would ask such an obvious question.

"Uh…yea!" Carina nodded vigorously, speaking for Sierra as well.

"So, you're saying that _every_ Quidditch captain is hot?" asked Lily, raising an eyebrow.

Both girls nodded confidently.

Lily smirked. "Ladies, I give you Exhibit A!" she said with a flourish, pointing towards James Potter, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

James was choking on an overlarge bite of pumpkin pie, his face taking on the extremely unattractive color of a beetroot, as he coughed loudly, causing his friends to turn to him in alarm and begin pounding his back in an altogether unhelpful manner.

Carina and Sierra wrinkled their noses, and turned away subconsciously to face a satisfied Lily.

"Well Lily, when I said _every_ captain, I meant _every_ captain except my own. Oh, and the Slytherin captain of course," Sierra added quickly as an afterthought.

Lily nodded wisely. "So you're saying that _every_ Quidditch captain is hot except for the captains of Gryffindor and Slytherin?"

"Oh, and Hufflepuff, seeing as they aren't exactly known for what's going on upstairs," added Carina helpfully.

Lily's lips twitched as she said, "So now, _every _Quidditch captain is hot except for the captains of Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff."

"Uh huh," nodded Sierra, sensing that she had just lost this argument.

Carina diverted their attention to the vision striding towards them. Shawn Goldman, seventh year Quidditch captain of the Ravenclaw team, was striding towards the trio, causing both Carina and Sierra to start giggling uncharacteristically.

"Hey babes," said Shawn in a low voice, his blue eyes giving them an obvious once-over.

Since Carina and Sierra seemed to have lost the power to speak, Lily replied in a lack-luster manner. "Hey…"

This however seemed to have caught her friends' attention, and when they finally deigned to reactivate the brains that had short-circuited at the sight of such godliness, Carina and Sierra both added their own hello's.

Lily was left to wonder why Carina seemed to be lost under the spell of someone she had claimed to dislike a few short months ago, but Lily soon shrugged this off. Carina seemed to be enjoying herself and Carina had always done as she had pleased.

Even though, at first, it had seemed Shawn had come to talk to the three of them, it quickly became apparent that he was interested in the one girl that wanted nothing to do with him – Lily.

"So Lily….excited for the upcoming Quidditch game?" asked Shawn, reverting to the topic with which he was most comfortable.

"Sure," replied Lily with a shrug. She just wanted to finish her dinner in peace, and if replying with monosyllabic answers was going to do the trick, she wasn't about to exert herself anymore that she had to.

That was, she wasn't about to exert herself anymore than she had to, before the formerly choking James Potter strode over to them.

"Hey there Goldman," said James, as he came over to stand beside the Ravenclaw.

The girls glared at him, Carina and Sierra because he was about to drive Shawn away, and Lily because it was now a custom to glare at James.

Goldman turned to James, and smiled in an utterly unconvincing manner. "Potter!"

Lily looked at the now uncomfortable Ravenclaw and the maddening Gryffindor wondering what archaic testosterone-fueled male ritual was at hand.

She brushed it off, and turning to Shawn said, "So…was there anything specific you came here to say….?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James grin widely and nod as if to condone her obvious action of trying to get rid of Shawn. This in itself made Lily rethink her plan. James had obviously come here to get rid of the Ravenclaw for some unfathomable reason, and by driving Shawn away, Lily was helping him achieve what he wanted most. Helping Potter was absolutely out of the question, and this realization caused Lily to sit up straighter and smile encouragingly up at Shawn, now convinced that she was going to try everything in her power to make sure he stayed at their table for as long as possible.

As Shawn cast around for something fitting to say, Lily smiled in what could only be described as a flirtatious manner, and said kindly, "Would you like sit down?"

Sierra, who was sitting next to Lily, almost tripped over thin air in her haste to move away and create a space for Shawn.

The Ravenclaw smirked, glad that things were finally back on track (the "track" being that he grinned and girls fell to pieces).

James, on the other hand, scowled slowly as Shawn squeezed himself in beside Lily. Turning to Carina, who was sitting on the other side of Sierra, he asked, "Carr, mind moving over?"

Before Carina could reply, Lily looked up. "Potter," she said sweetly for Shawn's benefit, "why don't you find something else to shove down your windpipe?"

Shawn guffawed loudly, causing James to turn red in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

Lily, satisfied that her reply had achieved the desired effect, turned to Shawn once more. "So Shawn, I've always wanted to compliment you on your excellent Chasing abilities. I mean, because of you and your wonderful leadership skills, Ravenclaw wins every game!"

Shawn smirked in a self-satisfied manner, something that infuriated James to no end.

"_Every_ game?" he questioned. "Every game except for the ones played against Gryffindor, obviously."

Sierra nodded in agreement. The guy may be cute, but that didn't mean that he was about to beat Gryffindor!

Lily ignored him. "I mean, I've always admired your dedication when it comes to catching the waffle-"

"You mean 'quaffle'," corrected Shawn with a laugh.

Lily flushed before brightening at Shawn's next comment. "Don't worry, I'll always think of you now when I'm catching the 'waffle'," he said, in a thoroughly charming manner, brushing Lily's mistake off as an exceedingly cute blunder that besotted girls made around him.

Lily laughed as well. "Well then," she said in low tone, "you had better."

Carina and Sierra gaped at Lily, who was now flirting with the very person she had never seemed to tolerate, let alone like. At Lily's latest comment, James looked around desperately for a suitable barf bucket, feeling his dinner coming back up. _'Oh hello there Sexy Shawn, how wonderful you are with balls!'_ James was about to turn away, deeming the situation unsalvageable, when a more amusing thought came to mind.

If Lily liked or disliked the Ravenclaw was irrelevant at the moment. What was relevant was that James was about to prove that absolutely nobody got the better of him when it came to flirting. If what Lily was attempting to do could even be classified as 'flirting'.

James cast around for the girl whose day he was undoubtedly about to brighten, before a stellar opportunity presented itself.

Kathleen Deely, more commonly known as Kat, the brunette beater of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team came up to them, and, in seemingly concerned tones, asked, "Got all the pumpkin out of you hair then, Lily?"

Lily flushed immediately, turning to glare at a now smirking James. Earlier on in Charms, the sixth years had traveled down to Hagrid's hut to help him enlarge the pumpkins that were now surrounding them, and James, in true James Potter fashion, had managed to make his pumpkin explode in a shower of orange…all over Lily. However, contrary to popular belief, James's pumpkin had not exploded because he had wanted to amuse the class, but simply because he was terrible at Charms. Lily had rushed up to her dorm and taken a long shower to clean the pumpkin out of her hair, but her anger at James over the unfortunate incident hadn't dimmed.

"Yes, I did," replied Lily tersely, still annoyed about the incident. "_Some people_," here she glared at a seemingly innocent James, "don't seem to have mastered the most basic of spells yet."

Kat, oblivious to James's inadequacies in Charms, laughed as if Lily was merely joking. "Of course James knows how to enlarge things! He's quite clever, and the stunt today was probably just a Halloween joke, wasn't it James?"

James laughed smoothly, and replied with a, "Of course it was joke, sweetheart!" He slid an arm around a surprised Kat's shoulders, causing her eyes to widen to the size of galleons, and a faint blush to appear on her cheeks.

Lily gritted her teeth so as to prevent from commenting on James's insufferable behavior, and turned back to Shawn.

But before Lily could say anything, James piped up once more. "You were great during the Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff match Kat," complimented James, squeezing her shoulders. "I couldn't help but keep my eyes on you the entire time…" he trailed off suggestively, adding a wink for effect.

Lily was visibly gagging at his blatant attempt to win the beater over, but nobody seemed to notice, least of all Kat, who was too busy giggling inanely and attempting to be modest.

Sierra, however, was not about to let her rival beater get away so easily. "Oh yes, Kathleen," she added, "you were marvelous. Simply marvelous. I mean, I'm sure nobody noticed you hitting the bludgers towards your own team or the time you almost fell off your broom." Sierra grinned up at the astonished Ravenclaw, well aware that she was exaggerating just a bit. "Without your efforts, I'm sure Ravenclaw wouldn't have been able to scrape by with a win."

Both Kathleen and Shawn turned to glare at Sierra, visibly casting around for a suitably crushing retort.

James glared at his beater as well. Despite the fact that he was laying it on a _bit_ thick when it came to Kat's beating abilities, Sierra's Quidditch rivalry, something he would have gladly encouraged at any other time, was about to cost him a chance to annoy Evans. Didn't Sierra _realize_ that he was trying to aggravate Lily?

"Well, Kat, it doesn't really matter," said Lily, now turning to Shawn. "Shawn here, more than saved the day with his five goals." Lily had, in one move, managed to insult Kat further and, judging from Shawn's expression, mollify the Ravenclaw captain greatly.

Shawn grinned and, in a pathetically lame attempt to be modest, said, "Now, Lil, a player is only as strong as his team. I couldn't have done it without the rest of them." The Ravenclaw waved his hand vaguely as if to indicate that the 'rest of them' were not quite as important as he was suggesting.

Lily laughed, trying her best not to correct Shawn as he proceeded to call her 'Lil', while James looked on in horrified amazement. He didn't know exactly what was bothering him about the Lily-Shawn Debacle before him, but he reacted to it in the only way he could.

He turned back to Kat and engaged her in conversation, making her laugh out loud quite a few times, causing James to grin in a satisfied manner and give Lily pointed looks. The looks clearly said that if James still liked her she could have been the one enjoying herself with him, but since he quite obviously couldn't stand her, she could go off and procreate with Goldman to produce beautiful, if dim, children and he wouldn't give a damm. Or something like that.

Lily, for reasons unknown, was finding the laughing couple in front of her very hard to stomach. She was also trying not to notice that, despite everything, James looked quite attractive when he laughed. Something that Kat apparently noticed as well, if her too-loud laughing and incessant hair flicking was any indication. Lily tried not to look as irritated as she felt, and the most irritating thing of all was that she didn't even know WHY she felt irritated.

"…so do you wanna?"

Lily looked up at Shawn who had apparently been talking while she was fuming, and was now looking at her questioningly. Lily tried desperately to remember what Shawn had been talking to her about. It wasn't her fault she had tuned out! Shawn just didn't interest her - at all.

Lily was about to say no to whatever Shawn wanted her to do when the sight of James's playful tugging at Kat's hair distracted her.

As if possessed, Lily turned back to Shawn and smiled slowly. "Of course I want to…" she said, in reply to his earlier query. Now if only she knew what she was agreeing to.

"Great! So I'll see you out there on Saturday." Shawn grinned at her one last time, and Lily smiled back. As soon as he was back at the Ravenclaw table, and James and Kat had moved away, she turned to Sierra and Carina who were looking at her with faint amusement.

"Alright, what did I just agree to?" Lily asked, a faint note of desperation entering her voice.

Carina looked up from her treacle tart and smirked slightly. "Lils, you are going to sacrifice your sleep, something that I know for a fact you hate doing, and get up at seven on Saturday so you can see Shawn, the object of your recent affection, whack a 'waffle' around the pitch. Did I mention this was at seven on a Saturday morning? And that the practice would last for four hours…starting at seven? AM?"

Lily groaned. "Why didn't you stop me?"

Sierra shrugged. "I was eating." Then, she sat up straighter and looked at Lily with considerably more interest than before. "Hey, you can be our spy!"

"Your what?"

"Our spy! Since you have an excuse to watch the Ravenclaw team practice, you can write down their strategies so that we know what to prepare for when we play them later on in the year!"

"Now, wait a minute-"

"James! James, get over here now!" yelled Sierra, waving at the bemused Quidditch Captain.

After flirting with Kat some more James sauntered over to Sierra. "What?"

"Ok, so Shawn invited Lily to come watch him practice Quidditch with the Ravenclaw team, so I was thinking that she could go over and sp-"

"Wait a second." James looked at Lily, surprise quite clearly adorning his features. "Shawn asked _Evans_ to watch him play Quidditch? And Evans, instead of lecturing him on the 'atrocities of the stupid game', _agreed_?"

Lily turned around from her dessert so fast, she swore her neck cracked. The incredulity present in James's voice when he asked Sierra about Shawn inviting her to watch him play Quidditch infuriated her.

Lily turned around from her dessert so fast, she swore her neck cracked. The incredulity present in James's voice when he asked Sierra about Shawn inviting her to watch him play Quidditch infuriated her. Was it truly so inconceivable that Shawn would invite her to watch him play Quidditch? This from the boy who had asked her out every day for the past two years? "Yes, Potter, he invited me to watch his Quidditch practice. I agreed because he did not ruffle his hair in a pompous manner, cause a big scene in the middle of the Great Hall, or embarrass/humiliate me."

It seemed that the majority of her small, impromptu speech went through James's left ear, and out through his ass, "Wait…you said yes?"

This was evidentially not the right thing to say, as Lily swelled in the manner of an irritated bullfrog, "Yes, I said yes. Why wouldn't I?"

James opened and closed his mouth, before coming up with a suitable response. "So, I asked you out to Hogsmeade, walks around the lake, and various other romantic pursuits which you probably would have enjoyed and you refused. He asked you to go watch him play a sport you detest, and you said yes?"

"He asked me to go watch him play a sport I detest without an arrogant smirk or a conceited head ruffle."

"And that alone is grounds for acceptance these days?"

"Well it helps that he's hot." Sierra piped up, quite unwilling to let this conversation go without putting her two cents in.

"Thanks, Sierra, your support is overwhelming."

James turned to Sierra and said loudly, "Who asked you?"

"I volunteered information," Sierra informed him magnanimously, while Lily turned red beside her.

"Don't you dare snap at her, Potter."

"Excuse me?" James and Sierra looked at her in astonishment. Quibbling like they had been was something of a ritual for them. They had been friends for so long, it had become a tradition in it's own right, and for Lily to take their harmless banter seriously was a first.

"Yea, Potter, don't snap at her! You don't see me calling Sirius fat and ugly!" Carina pushed into the conversation with all the delicacy of an orangutan, as Sirius looked up, his mouth full of food.

James did not bother to dignify this with a reply, while Sirius called from his place further down the table, "You know you love me!" Carina turned back to the conversation with a slight smile on her face. Her smile faded quickly.

James and Lily were glaring at each other with expressions of utmost loathing, and Lily was clutching her knife as if she dearly wanted to stab someone with it.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Evans, but why would you agree to go out with a brainless git with a pointy head?" Carina turned to look at Goldman.

"His head is not … _pointy_!" Carina hissed in outrage. James rolled his eyes, muttering about hopeless infatuation.

"Potter, let me tell you something about hopeless infatuation. You see, a couple of years ago, there was an immature bigheaded wanker who followed me around like a lost puppy, begging to go out with me. Even though I refused time and time again, he kept on asking me, ruffling his hair and smirking in unwarranted satisfaction. Remind you of anyone?"

"Lily," James glared at Lily, his expression hard and intimidating, "once there was a 'loser' who liked a girl for reasons unknown, because you see, this 'loser' wanted to see the good in everyone, even in a bookish, snobbish know-it-all. Despite the fact that she shoved her nose in the air as far as it could go, and insulted him whenever possible, he doted on her, asking her out, presenting her with gifts, and showering her with compliments. All he got for his troubles was unnecessary rudeness and unwarranted insults. Tell me, Evans, who does this hypocritical bitch remind you off?"

After the initial gasp throughout the hall from students and teachers alike, silence reigned, as Lily and James stared at each other fiercely, each willing the other to crack first, each seeing the events of the past as a reel of cutting, poignant images.

_**Flashback **_

James sneered at Lily. "Are you quite done being an annoying busybody or is there more?"

Lily drew herself up to her full height. "You, James Potter, are a disgrace to the name of wizard. I don't understand why you have to prank people. You're not in first year anymore Potter. Grow up!"

_End Flashback _

As one, James and Lily saw images from the past few months dancing before their eyes, taunting them, teasing them.

_**Flashback**_

"You expect me to believe this? This…this completely unbelievable story?"

James looked at her. "Well, of course since it's the truth," he said, as sincerely as he could.

Lily looked at him another moment, before spinning around without another word, and stalking towards the Gryffindor common room

_End Flashback_

He remembered how she had taken any comment he made, joking or otherwise, and blown it totally out of proportion.

_**Flashback**_

"'Why ride a broom when you can ride a Quidditch player'," he read aloud, snickering.

Lily's face flamed. "Sierra gave it to me as a joke Christmas present last year, ok?" she demanded, testily. "I wasn't planning on getting wet!"

"S'ok Evans, it's good to have it all out in the open. Now which Quidditch players have you been riding recently, or is there more than one?"

Lily gasped out loud, before blushing inadvertently. She couldn't believe he had made such a derogatory remark. "We all aren't whores like you Potter," she snapped.

His face went slack at her comment. Was Lily Evans using such words now? "What the hell do you mean?"

"Shagged anyone in a broom cupboard lately?"

_**End Flashback**_

James looked through his memories one by one, looking at how she had snubbed him, hurt him, and rejected him.

_**Flashback**_

"The day I go out with Potter is day I throw myself of a cold, godforsaken cliff in the middle of bloody nowhere to be eaten by a bunch of fire salamanders in a friggin' pit of boiling hot, body melting, toxic lava."

_**End Flashback**_

And as he watched the images etched across the inside of his eyelids, he remembered his unspoken midnight resolve many month ago.

_James Potter was finally over Lily Evans._

_**Flashback**_

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry-"

"What was that Evans?" asked James in mock horror, holding one hand up to his ear as if he was hard of hearing. "Mind repeating that? Didn't quite hear you..."

Lily snarled. "I said sorry," she repeated with great difficulty.

"Ok." James shrugged and walked down the hall.

_End Flashback_

Lily remembered how he treated her when she tried to apologize. She remembered how he had hurt Snape the year before, in the infamous Lake Scene. She thought back to how he had behaved in their shared detention, and how he had called her bitch just minutes before.

_**Flashbacks**_

"There she goes, running from the fights she starts…as always." James gave her an infuriating look, blatantly daring her to come back. "Where are you off to Evans? Hiding under your bed reading doesn't really help the cowardly image…"

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"Evans, calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Before Lily could reply, James butted in. "Why are you asking her? Ms. Evans has been known to jump to conclusions and dismiss the opinions of others if they do not match up with her pre-conceived notions."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"Well James, with his sterling record, couldn't possibly be behind this could he?" replied Lily sardonically. "I mean, he's quite well known around the castle for his heroic effort and good deeds…why would anyone suspect him?"

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"I really cannot believe you, Potter. It always seems that you're at your most despicable, but then, you sink even lower. You're below a toxic, nuclear waste disposal at the moment; I don't think it's possible to sink any lower. But knowing you Potter, I'm sure you'll find a way. Your utterly egotistical and sexist remarks give you a lower score than Snape, in my eyes, Potter."

James's eyes widened in shock at her last shot, before narrowing in fury: "You know what, Evans? Don't turn bloody sanctimonious and pious on me, ok? Would you go out on a date with someone who looked like a troll? I didn't think so. We're just writing down what we think for reference, so before you go calling us names, take a look in a mirror. Unless, you've cracked them all, already."

_End Flashbacks_

In one swift, gone – too – fast – to – notice – it – was – here instant, all the cutlery and the windows in the Great Hall shattered into a million pieces. Much like James's heart and Lily's smile had many times before.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**A/N: **_Worth the wait? We certainly hope so. Did you guys like the "dun-dun-DUN!" ending? We've been building up to it for a while and hope it was worth it. Thanks for reading and please review!_

_Take care,_

_**CL**_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _We apologise fervently for the long delay between the last chapter and this one, and have no excuse for our tardiness. We do, however, offer up this chapter as a peace – offering, and hope you all love it. _

_So here's the twelfth chapter of__** Moments Lost in Time.**_

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

**Chapter Twelve: Anything Short of Murder**

"What the bloody hell was that?"

That seemed to be the general consensus of the Hogwarts population, as they all returned from the Great Hall, having just seen a spontaneous display of powerful magic. So powerful, the windows had shattered and the cutlery had exploded. Pandemonium and lightening had struck, as student after student rushed out of the Great Hall, eager to discuss this in a more private setting. The teachers had stood dumbfounded for several nanoseconds, reluctantly impressed, before they had dragged Lily and James off to discuss their respective detentions. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Carina, and Sierra had retreated to a secluded corner of the Gryffindor common room, in a state of shock that things had deteriorated so quickly, and to such an extent, between their two friends.

"They were just…just, sorta…staring…and then - then the windows-!" Peter's mouth opened and closed like that of a goldfish as he struggled to form a coherent sentence that adequately described the display they had just witnessed.

"Yes, yes, the windows blew up, and the cutlery exploded," finished Sirius, somewhat impatiently. He looked himself up and down in a disgusted manner. Deep orange stains were spattered festively on his clothing, courtesy of a certain pair who had decided to make the goblets explode just as he had gone to take a sip of pumpkin juice.

Carina smirked slightly at Sirius. Unable to control herself, she had burst out laughing at a flabbergasted Sirius who was drenched in juice, and had only been able to stop when a sniggering Sierra pulled her out of the Great Hall.

"Calls himself a friend – bloody James," muttered Sirius, pulling at his sodden robe sleeve dispassionately.

"This wasn't _just_ James's doing," pointed out Remus. "I don't know exactly what happened with the two of them. Well I know _what_ happened," Remus glanced pointedly at a soaked Sirius, "but I don't know what triggered it…." He trailed off into silence, lost in his thoughts.

"It's obvious what triggered it! James and Lily hate each other, remember? A few homicidal thoughts aren't out of the ordinary here," said Sierra.

"We ALL know they hate each other, but why did something this serious happen today? Why now?"

Carina rolled her eyes. "Remus, what exactly is the point of asking totally obvious questions? What we should be doing is-"

But exactly what they should have been doing was drowned out by a loud, resounding slam. Silence fell immediately. Carina jumped slightly, her plan forgotten as she gazed at the mutinous face of a very, _very_ angry Lily Evans.

Lily was not happy. One could clearly decipher her less-than-happy mood by the sheer volume with which she stomped through the common room, sending death glares around the room. The younger Gryffindors emitted terrified squeaks before scampering up off to their dorms, leaving the slightly older Gryffindors to observe the walls and tapestries of their common room, quite afraid to meet a certain redhead's eyes.

"_I_ heard that she can curse someone just by _looking _at them!" muttered a third year in what could only be described as a stage whisper.

"Oh, yeah? Well _I_ heard she can turn people to **stone** by winking at them!" whispered another.

"Why would she _wink_ at them?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Because winking is stup-"

Both students fell silent immediately when Lily whirled around to face them.

"S-so-sorry," they whispered, trembling slightly.

Lily didn't even bother to respond. She continued to stomp through the common room, muttering obscenities centering around a certain someone, until she reached Carina and Sierra. Just as she was about to speak-

"_I_ heard that he can _blow people up_ just by _staring_ at them!"

"I heard that he can cause an _earthquake _when he claps his hands."

"Why would he cla-"

They both fell silent once more, apologizing feebly before escaping to their own dorm room.

Even louder stomps were heard as an equally angry James Potter crossed the common room. Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged apprehensive looks at their friend's thunderous expression.

Lily back stiffened instantly and she swiveled slowly to face the bane of her existence. James, noticing Lily standing near his friends, looked downright murderous as he scowled at her.

A deathlike silence descended over the common room, and several people surreptitiously began moving away from the windows.

James tore his eyes away first and turned to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "Guys," he said tersely, making his way to the staircase that led up to the boys' dorms.

Lily jerked slightly as if a spell had been lifted, and gazing with unprecedented venom at the back of James's unaware head, began to make her way to her dorm room. Carina and Sierra followed, anxious expressions creasing their faces.

As both James and Lily proceeded to stomp up the stairs to their respective dormitories, enraging images of the past hour seemed to flit through their minds.

**Flashback**

_As pandemonium reigned in the Great Hall, two students were standing stock still, gazing at each other in befuddled fury. _

What the…

_"__**Mr. Potter!**__" James winced as Professor McGonagall's dulcet tones reached his ears, the remarkably high decibel level almost too much to bear. "__**Ms. Evans!**__"_

_Before Lily could so much as move, think, or even _breathe_, a hand descended to grasp her arm in a vice-like grip and all but dragged her out of the chaotic Great Hall, a bespectacled boy being pulled along just as violently, in her wake. _

_The further they moved away from the Great Hall, the quieter it became. Almost _too_ quiet. An eerie sense of foreboding engulfed Lily, the overbearing silence serving only to heighten her apprehension. She chanced a glance at James, and was strangely relieved to see that he didn't seem to be his usual cool self either. _

_Let's see Mr. James- I-Can-Get-Out-of-Anything-Short-of-Murder- Potter handle this…_

_This thought had barely crossed her mind before Lily's vivid imagination began to churn out images of what her future may now entail. Just how many detentions did one receive after practically blowing up the Great Hall? Or maybe this was too grave a matter for mere detentions. Maybe she was going to be suspended, sent to Azkaban, or worse…__expelled_

_Lily couldn't help but gulp audibly as this horrifying thought sent shockwaves through her already troubled system. She was going to get _expelled_. Yes, she was going to get thrown out of Hogwarts, and then…and then what? What sort of life would she lead? She couldn't get a proper wizarding job with barely five and a half years of magical education…and she couldn't get a muggle job worth having without a university degree…and she couldn't get a university degree since she hadn't even attended a muggle high school…which all led to one horrifying conclusion. _

_Lily Audrey Evans was going to end up an overweight waitress, moving from job to job after being fired for her decidedly inferior waitressing skills, before ending up as a sixty-five year old busgirl with only cats for company._

_And she had been next in line for Head Girl too. . _

"_Ms. Evans? Ms. Evans? Ms-"  
_

_"Hey! EVANS! Snap out of it!"_

_Lily seemed to jerk awake, startled out of her stupor, she gazed at her surroundings in puzzlement. With a strangled gasp she realized where she was. _

_Dumbledore's office. _

_Lily Audrey Evans had become a delinquent. _

_She almost gave into her overpowering urge to cry, stopping only because of the presence of Potter and the blue eyes that were gazing at her with such concern. _

Calm down, Lily, calm down. Let's talk this out. Everything will be all right.

_"I'm going to get _EXPELLED_!" she wailed instead, clutching her long hair in consternation, moisture welling up in her green eyes. _

_Dumbledore seemed to be taken aback. James merely sniggered, before the realization that they could, in fact, be expelled stole over him. He looked up anxiously, and subsided in relief to see the headmaster patting Lily's hand in a grandfatherly sort of way. _

_"Nobody is going to be expelled, Ms.Evans," said Dumbledore kindly, resisting the urge to smile in amusement. He had a feeling that the distraught redhead might not appreciate it. _

_This did nothing to abate Lily's anguish, which seemed to be pouring out with alarming speed and volume. "…waitress…spinster…CATS!" She ended with a high pitched wail and James could only gaze at her in bewilderment, wondering where cats came in. _

_"Cats?" he asked, half amused, half concerned. _

_This seemed to do the trick._

_"__**You!**__" With disturbing speed Lily's head whipped in his direction, distress vanishing rapidly from her blotchy features. "It is because of __**you**__ James Potter that I am going to be expelled, and I hope you are happy that I am going to end up an unmarried, overweight waitress who owns twenty-five million cats!"_

James hastily scraped his chair away from Lily, resisting the urge to either run now, or succumb to the hysterical laughter that was building up inside him.

_Professor McGonagall who was standing slightly off to the side of Professor Dumbledore's desk was finding it highly disconcerting that one of her most promising pupils seemed to be deranged. _

_"Nobody is going to be expelled," repeated Dumbledore firmly, quickly bringing James's and Lily's attentions back to the matter at hand. "You both, however, are going to explain to me what just happened in the Great Hall." He gazed at the pair intently, wondering what sort of explanation they would provide for one of the most remarkable feats of non-verbal, wandless magic he had ever experienced. _

_"I…really don't know," said James, with a vague shrug of his shoulders. _

_"You…don't know?" asked McGonagall sharply, shooting both James and Lily questioning looks. _

_"I don't know how it happened, or even _why_ it happened," elaborated James. He had no intention of sharing with anybody what had been running through his mind at the time of the – well, explosion seemed as fitting a word as any._

_Lily nodded, her face paler than usual. "I don't know what happened either," she contributed softly, linking and unlinking her fingers nervously in her lap. _

_James silently thanked God for making sure that Lily remained silent. He was pretty sure that both he and Lily had been thinking pretty much the same thing before the explosion, and it was this, more than their impending punishment, that worried him. Why had he, together with Lily, caused something of such incalculable magnitude to occur? It was a puzzle he was fully intending to work out in the privacy of his dorm, but before he could get there, he had Dumbledore to get through. _

_If the headmaster was disappointed in this lackluster explanation he did nothing to show it. Instead he sighed heavily once, and then twice. "Alright then. The both of you have a month's worth of separate detentions." _

_Lily's head whipped up in shock. A month's…she had never received detention before this year, and now she had a _month's worth of detention

_"But-"_

_"No buts, Ms.Evans. The _both_ of you are at fault for this incident, and, consequently the both of _you_ will face the punishment. And I expect these petty skirmishes to stop at once. I expect more from the both of you." _

_These words did more to quiet Lily than the loudest lecture could. She subsided in her chair, defeated, and none too happy about it. _

_James was also feeling a sense of injustice at this lengthy punishment. Sure, he was competing with Sirius for receiving the most detentions before graduation, and sure, as a marauder he has earned his fair share of detention, but those detentions were well earned. These however were…not. He has no idea what he had done and receiving so many detentions for it seemed hardly fair. But what could he do?_

_So in the end, they mumbled "Yes, Professor," sheepishly and left the headmaster's office, walking separately to Gryffindor tower, lost in their thoughts. Their lengthy walk however did nothing to soothe the roiling emotions that were now pointing to the _real_ source of their problems. And, surprisingly enough, it wasn't themselves. _

**End Flashback**

"A month's worth of detentions?" gasped Carina in shock.

"Yes!" wailed Lily, pacing back and forth in the girl's dorm. She had just finished telling Carina and Sierra what had happened in the headmaster's office and the perceived injustice of her punishment still rankled. They had already been through why the explosion had occurred in the first place and Lily was drawing a total blank. She honestly couldn't even begin to work through the troubled emotions that had undoubtedly caused the catastrophic end to the Halloween feast.

"Think back, Lily," urged Sierra, sitting in her pajamas on her bed. "How were you feeling before it happened?"

"I don't know!" cried Lily. At Sierra's reproachful look she muttered, "Mad…I guess."

"So you were mad at James," prompted Sierra. "But _why_ were you mad at him? I mean, besides the usual. Not the whole 'he asks me out a thousand times a day' thing, but why were you mad at him tonight? I mean something big must have happened for you guys to lose control like that…"

"I don't know why I was mad at him! He was just _there_…with Kat, and urgh, my hair still smells like pumpkin!" Lily was becoming increasingly incoherent as she muttered about the buggering idiot James Potter who had put pumpkin in her hair, and Kat, stupid, stupid Kat who thought James was…was being funny!

Sierra and Carina, listening intently, and trying to make sense of the jumbled tirade that was spewing out of Lily, latched on to one idea. "Kat? Why would Kat make you mad? She was only flirtin-" Carina stopped short, a new, somewhat scary realization dawning.

"Lily are you jealous of Kat?" she asked abruptly.

This brought Lily to a screeching halt. "Why would I be jealous of Kat?" she asked disdainfully, waving this ludicrous idea aside without a second thought.

"Exactly. Why _would_ you be jealous of Kat?" asked Sierra, catching on to what her friend was implying.

Sierra and Carina exchanged darkly meaningful looks, while Lily stared at her best friends, stubbornly refusing to let her mind comprehend what her friends were insinuating.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

"A month's worth of detentions?" asked Remus in surprise.

The scene in the boy's dormitory was eerily similar to the one in the girl's dorm. Remus, Sirius, and Peter had listened closely to James's recitation about what had gone down in Dumbledore's office, a place more familiar to them than it should have been. They too couldn't seem to figure out what had set off the explosion that was sure to go down in Hogwarts history.

"Never seen you lose it like that mate," remarked Sirius stretching out on his bed. "What _happened_?"

"I only wish I knew," muttered a frustrated James. "I have no bloody idea."

"James," began Remus thoughtfully, "magic of that magnitude needs not only power, but passion as well. Obviously you were deeply disturbed about something; probably to do with Lily since she was a part of this…can't you think back to just before it happened? What was going through your mind?"

James tried his best to come up with the answer the four of them were so avidly seeking. "It was a bit of a jumbled mess. I mean I guess I was thinking about Evans…but I mean there was so much more than that…" James inadvertently focused on the one person he could explain his feelings quite clearly about. "Goldman, that bloody git," muttered James unexpectedly, savagely biting off the head of the chocolate frog he was holding.

"Goldman?" asked Peter, yawning widely. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, before saying, "What does Goldman have to do with this? Maybe you're a bit confused James…" he added, hesitantly. "We're talking about Lily here. _Li-ly_," he enunciated carefully, "you know, red hair, green eyes, the girl you've been infatuated with for the better half of your Hogwarts career?"

"I haven't been infatuated with her," snapped James irritably, reaching for another chocolate frog.

"Of course not!" amended Peter, only too quick to agree. "I just meant … Goldman and Lily really have nothing to do with each other. Well he did ask her out tonight but I mean…." Peter trailed off, glancing apprehensively at James who now seemed to look more dangerous than ever before.

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other, the reason for James's fraught emotions becoming all too clear. Jealousy on James's part was par for the course whenever anyone asked Lily out but since James claimed that he was over Lily, why would Goldman asking Lily out bother him?

Unless…

"James," began Sirius cautiously, "the incident in the Great Hall wouldn't have anything to do with Lily being asked out by Gold-"

Sirius stopped at once, catching the dark expression on James's face. "Right, so no then. Well, ok, you were probably stressed or something."

And even though they settled on Sirius's explanation, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were only more convinced of their theory with James's denial of it. Perhaps their best friend was not _quite_ so over Lily as he so emphatically claimed, and perhaps deep down, their best friend knew it too.

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O**

Although the next day was a school day, and fervent whispers followed them wherever they went, Lily and James managed to avoid each other, only seeing each other during class, hardly believing that the entire school was talking about them because of last night. After dinner, James, unable to take it anymore, left his friends to their homework and decided to take a quick spin around the Quidditch pitch to clear his head. Lily had long since departed for her dormitory, craving the solitude her empty dorm offered. For the first time since directly after the explosion, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Carina, and Sierra found themselves alone together.

"What are we going to do now?" Carina looked up from her essay, abandoning the pretense of doing her homework. She had been waiting for Lily to leave so that she could discuss possible solutions with her friends.

Sierra shrugged. "I don't know…" She looked around the common room as if the answer would appear in the air before her, biting her lip in a worried manner.

The boys looked at each other, slightly confused. "You don't know about … what?" ventured Sirius, looking from the blond to the brunette.

"Er…what we're going to do about Lily and James."

"Well, what_ are_ we going to do?" Peter asked tentatively.

"That's what we don't know!" Sierra snapped, as the chubby boy backed up.

"Well, do were really have to _do_ anything?" ventured Sirius, immediately regretting it as a dangerous expression crossed Carina's face.

"_Of course_ we have to do something!" hissed Carina, eyes flashing. "Two of my closest friends hate each other, and you expect me to do nothing about it? I've known James since we were in diapers! I've known Lily since the first day of Hogwarts! How can I _not_ do anything?"

Sierra nodded firmly, her dark blue eyes solemn.

"Ok then," muttered Sirius, backing away slightly from Carina who was now breathing much too heavily. "We do something. But what?"

He didn't need to look at the girls to know that he had just asked something incredibly stupid.

"Well…we could always lock them up in a closet until they decide to be nice," suggested Peter, mentally patting himself on the back for this ingenious idea.

"I want my friends to get along, not to be _dead_!" shrieked Carina hysterically. Peter backed away from her as well.

"We could always take their wands away…" tried Peter.

"No."

"How about we-"

"No."

"You haven't even heard my idea yet!" cried Peter, wounded.

"Yet the answer is still no," replied Carina without even moving her head.

"We could always sort of, push them together-" started Remus before being interrupted by a boisterous yell.

"Trust games!" yelled Sirius joyfully, sure that he had just unearthed the idea of the century.

Everyone in the common room started at him in confusion. Sirius made shooing gestures and eventually the crowd turned away, muttering about another Marauder who was surely going around the bend.

"Er…what?" asked Sierra. Bewilderment was evident in her expressive eyes.

"Trust games," repeated Sirius, as if those two words alone should be good enough for anybody.

"What the hell are you talking about Sirius?" questioned Carina, still quite worked up.

"I am talking about trust games."

"Really? And here I though you were talking about kumquats," muttered Remus, annoyed at his friend's lack of explanation.

Sirius shot the trio a withering look before turning to Peter. "Wormtail knows what I'm talking about, right?"

Peter nodded hesitantly. "Padfoot is talking about games involving trust."

Sirius nodded proudly, extremely satisfied. "Thank you Wormtail," he said, inclining his head graciously. "See, Moony? Smart people _understand _what other people are trying to say…"

Before Remus could reply, Sierra said, "No."

"What do mean 'no'?" asked Sirius, highly affronted.

"Was it the 'n' or the 'o' that confused you," asked Carina sarcastically before turning away from him. "Now Remus," she said in a falsely sweet voice, "what was your idea?"

Leaving Sirius to fume, Remus began explaining. "Well Lily and James are in every class together, right? So I think that whenever we pick partners and stuff we should force them to be together so that they get used to working together. I think, eventually they'll grow, if not to like, but to put up with each other peaceably."

Sirius let out a derisive laugh. "_That's _your idea? James and Lily are _never_ going to get along! They don't trust each other! And if you want them to _truly_ get along you have to build up some sort of trust. Trust games!"

Everyone stared at him, slightly impressed despite themselves. Sirius was being … serious (pun intended).

"Well, ok, here's what we're going to do," said Sierra decisively. "We'll go along with Remus's idea for the week and if it doesn't work-"

"Which it won't!" interjected Sirius.

"-if it doesn't work," repeated Sierra, glaring at Sirius, "then we'll try Sirius's idea. Sound good?" She looked around and when the group nodded assent, they began to plan in earnest, ignoring Sirius's dire predictions.

The week passed too quickly to notice, and the group tried everything they could to push James and Lily together. They made Lily and James sit next to each other during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, left the unusually silent pair partner less, forcing them to work together, and spent an inordinate amount of time in groups, inevitably forcing their friends together.

Ironically, if James was back to liking Lily he would have been overjoyed at the extended periods of time he was forced to spend with her, but then, if James was his usual self, none of this would have happened.

The teachers thought that their "spat" had blown over, just one of those blips that came and went, but those close to Lily and James knew that their drawn-out silences were clearly not just a 'blip'. Their detentions had started, and with James's Quidditch practices and Lily's prefect duties, as well as with both their piles of homework, Lily and James didn't really have time to snap at each other. Not that they would. They were being unusually withdrawn and careful around each other, their detentions weighing them down and serving as a reminder for what happened when they let their instinctive reactions towards each other get out of control.

After the week passed in cold silence between Lily and James, their friends, becoming more and more troubled with the expanding rift between the couple that no class assignment could bridge. Carina, Sierra, and Remus were forced to admit defeat on Friday afternoon.

Sirius, instead of saying his characteristic 'told-you-so!' nodded grimly, contemplating the task ahead.

"So…trust games?" he asked, somewhat warily, remembering how his idea had been received the last time he had mentioned it.

Sierra nodded wearily. "Trust games."

An almost imperceptible grin stole over her features as she imagined the hilarity that would be sure to ensue.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

**A/N**: _Review darlings – even if it's to rail at us for our 'latelyness'. _


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